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I am having a fucking horrible day. I've barely done anything apart from look after Abby and lie on the couch feeling sorry for myself. I have to wash some clothes tonight cause I'm running out of underwear and Nick wants some trainers washing because he spilt cheese sauce all over them and now they smell rank :( I really don't feel like I was to do it though because we had an argument before he left for work and now I just feel so fucking shit that I don't want to do anything. I have to take the rubbish out too, because Mercia keeps chewing on the plastic bags from the bin and it's so gross.
I never got the chance to go out and buy cat food today, so hopefully I'll get the chance to do that tomorrow...although that may not be likely as Nick was bitching about how he'd lost $10 somewhere along the line and he accused me of taking it...I just knew that was going to happen. It's never his fault that he lost the money...so he blames it on someone else. He was so fucked up on shots last night that I wouldn't be surprised if it fell out of his pocket or something- I've done that plenty of times when I've been pissed.
He also bitched at me about how Peanut was the most stupid mistake that I'd ever made. Okay, so she's slightly thick in the head...but she's so affectionate and sweet and social. And cute..can't forget that ;) I mean, she's no Mercia but she is a sweetie and I love my cats. I am not getting rid of her before I have to. I was thinking the other day that I'm going to have to get rid of Mercia and Peanut when I eventually move back home. I can't just give them up to some random animal shelter, so when the time comes I'm going to ask around the internet for someone local who would like to take them for me. That way I could keep in touch with the person so I can see that they're not abusing my babies..I love them so much, sometimes more than Abby...and I know that's so wrong of me, but I am still not used to this whole 'mother' ideal, I am so far away from being the average mother it's stupid. I totally was not ready to become a mother (and I wouldn't be without her now), but I'm so self-destructive that I don't think I'm fit to be one. It's fucking frustrating and I feel so lost in the world.
I never got the chance to go out and buy cat food today, so hopefully I'll get the chance to do that tomorrow...although that may not be likely as Nick was bitching about how he'd lost $10 somewhere along the line and he accused me of taking it...I just knew that was going to happen. It's never his fault that he lost the money...so he blames it on someone else. He was so fucked up on shots last night that I wouldn't be surprised if it fell out of his pocket or something- I've done that plenty of times when I've been pissed.
He also bitched at me about how Peanut was the most stupid mistake that I'd ever made. Okay, so she's slightly thick in the head...but she's so affectionate and sweet and social. And cute..can't forget that ;) I mean, she's no Mercia but she is a sweetie and I love my cats. I am not getting rid of her before I have to. I was thinking the other day that I'm going to have to get rid of Mercia and Peanut when I eventually move back home. I can't just give them up to some random animal shelter, so when the time comes I'm going to ask around the internet for someone local who would like to take them for me. That way I could keep in touch with the person so I can see that they're not abusing my babies..I love them so much, sometimes more than Abby...and I know that's so wrong of me, but I am still not used to this whole 'mother' ideal, I am so far away from being the average mother it's stupid. I totally was not ready to become a mother (and I wouldn't be without her now), but I'm so self-destructive that I don't think I'm fit to be one. It's fucking frustrating and I feel so lost in the world.