an update on stuff......

[fairy_dust81]

sorry i havent been on in awhile but allot of stuff has been going on. I had started practicing my meditation skills and was working on my exercises. I needed allot of time for myself to relax too, i was way too stressed out, so i was renting movies galore from the library, free yay, and so i was focused on that as well as my son trying to play with him and teach him how to play byhimself with his toys. My son is walking now too. He started walking in the middle of April, what a treat for us, run hes into everything lol. Our son is 16 months now and hes getting big. My husband is so wonderful, hes been working hard on school work and going to work full time at the same time, major stress there and i just think hes the greatest, im sorry but that is hard going to work full time and school and hes passing with straight A's. I give him all the hugs and kisses in the world. Hes been great too being there for me durring this time, if it wasnt for him i dont know where i would be. I've been dealing with stress in allot of ways and hes helping me, just by being my best friend. My friends helpped me to meditate and i started practicing and learning how to do it on my own without astral projecting. In the past couple of weeks allot has happend to, i missed my cycle the month of april. The first thing came to my mind oh crap im pregnant. We arent ready for another one yet but if its true then we'll deal. I think it would be so much easier right now if my pregancy tests came up posative instead of negative. I've gotten the whole nauces at times, bigger breasts, headaches, cramping, very fatugied, thirsty, bloated and feeling weight on my bladder. I would like to know if im not pregnant then what? i had two tarot readings because i was deperate to know, I dont like medical doctors, i avoid them as much as possiable, thats why i have a holistic doctor, anywho i had the readings and it came up im pregnant spiritually, so does that mean im carrying something like a problem or im pregnant in the sense of im gonna give birth to whole new me soon or am i really pregnant with child and spiritually means part of physical? i dont know, only time will tell. I have an appointment with my holistic doctor tuesday so we'll see whats up. I've searched around for answers and whats been told to me is i can be pregnant with child, i can have fibroid cycts, i can have hyperthyroidism, or its all mind set, or my harmones are totally out of wack, well i say yes you could think pregnant so your body tells it its pregnant but i kind of ruled that out with before i knew i was gonna miss my cycle i had some symptoms then, so i took a test then and it was negative, and i felt oh ok im not, kool, but then the symptoms came on more and more, so i rule that out totally. The hyperthyroidism is possiable with all those symptoms but the missed cycle doesnt explain it. With hyperthyroidism you bleed heavaily. The fibroid cycsts i only had two symptoms with that the bloating and feeling weight , pressure on my bladder but again doesnt explain the missed cycle, because with fiboids you intend to bleed, so my friends i have no clue.
I will have to find out tuesday, if i dont get results or i think the results are wrong, because everyone makes mistakes, then im gonna get a blood test asap. well everyone take care and ill keep you upto date on whats up, later