She hadn't slept in forty-seven hours, hadn't bathed in thirty-six of them, and had replaced food with caffeine pills; but Effective Business Management In Agrarian Brazil To Combat Environmental Destruction Of The Amazon Rainforest had found its way into her professor's hands at precisely eight-thirty that morning. It was a pile of shit. But it was handed in, and that was what mattered. She'd make it up in finals week and the next paper. Lock herself in the library for a few days or some crap like that
( ... )
Jonathan stared for a moment, aghast, at the very unpleasant girl who began yelling about Tales in the middle of campus. He stood up, setting his materials aside and trotted over to her.
"How did you even do this?" he asked, fingers fumbling with the Gordian knot that had somehow whipped itself around her jacket fastener. "And HI," he added with a grimace.
How did she do it? HOW DID SHE DO IT? Because she was CURSED AT BIRTH with hair that got stuck at EVERY OPPORTUNITY in EVERYTHING. Because God HATED her. And there was that more logical explanation of her being too scared to get it cut more than once every two years. But she didn't go into that part. "Be CAREFUL, sacrifice the fucking fastener BEFORE you even THINK about ripping my HAIR." Rose Bloom, have her priorities wrong? Of course not.
"Rose Bloom. Dwarf. And you're HURTING ME." The last statement being a bold faced, melodramatic lie.
"Jonathan Fairbanks, Headless Horseman," he answered, wondering if every Tale introduced themselves that way. "Sorry." He looked up from the gnarl and took his keys out of his pocket. "Here, I've got a little pair of scissors on my knife, that ok?" On his keyring was a tiny army knife.
Letting out a snort of laughter at the mention of his tale, the jokes to be made were ENDLESS. Most of them having to do with losing his "head", and other mature puns similarly themed. "Headless? BELIEVE ME, I can change tha -- ARE YOU FUCKING MAD?"
SCISSORS? KNIVES? WHAT WAS THIS? SOME SORT OF DISGUSTING PLOY BY ANSER?
And a look of very real terror crossing her face, staring at the army knife, she was going to DIE. DIE. DIE. "ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME? This is my HAIR! If your some pony of Anser's just taking the shit on his orders, I'm going to FEED that Pearl girl to Easy and WATCH, and just KEEP AWAY from my HAIR, for the love of GOD!"
"Legend of Sleepy Hollow," he hissed quickly, "THAT Horseman." He stuck the keys back in his pocket hastily. Geeze, they really were all crazy, women and Tales. "Who's Anser? Who's Pearl? And I won't touch your stupid hair, it's just - hopelessly stuck in your zipper." He held up both hands and took a step back.
MODERNS. God, they were so DRAMATIC, it made her want to KILL HERSELF. And rolling her eyes at his CLEAR stupidity, the only GOOD thing was that the formidable librarian hadn't had a hand in this SHAMELESS CRUELTY.
"Anser, professor, tragic pedo, I reckon. Pearl, possible Lolita. And OF COURSE it's hopelessly stuck, it's what it DOES, four reincarnations back it even got stuck in the GUILLOTINE for Christ's sake!" Shutting her eyes after EVER SO CLEARLY explaining things to the thicky, trying to think pleasant, soothing thoughts, she was going straight to the shop and getting a bar of chocolate after this DISGUSTING afternoon. "Just," Taking deep breaths, she was trying desperately not to think what a butchery he was about to make of her precious hair, "cut it quick."
He stepped up to her warily, like one would approach a strange dog that was growling and wagging its tail. He took out the tiny scissors again, and with one snip, cut it loose as close to the zipper as he could. As soon as he did, of course, the remaining knot fell free. It was only a few centimeters, really - a second later he couldn't tell where it had been.
"There. You're welcome," he added with a bit of a grimace. "So do you greet every new Tale you meet with a crisis, or am I special?"
Cautiously opening one eye, heart pounding through out the TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE, it was going to have to be a King Size chocolate bar. And maybe chips. And a hamburger. Maybe a full on McDonald's splurge.
Oh yeah, the kid was still here.
"That wasn't a crisis, it was a TRAGIC NEAR DEATH moment. And nah, usually it's just a saucy wink and WITTY conversation." Which she'd likely be doing now, had she not needed several minutes to recover from the OPERATION to get back to her usual innuendos and promises.
"Well, aren't I lucky," he said dryly. She seemed to be calming down now, at least. He crossed his arms against the cold - God, it was really freezing now that the wind was picking up - and his breath came in white puffs.
"So you said something about being a dwarf?" he said, trying to steer to conversation away from anything involving the Tragic Hair Knot of '08.
And true to form, Rose wasn't exactly wearing a whole lot underneath her weathered coat -- which equalled HIGHLY ATTRACTIVE shivering abound. "Baby cakes, I make ALL boys lucky." Oh yeah, her mood was picking up. And grabbing his hand, grunting a "Come ON, retard." It was time to head inside or be turned into a popsicle, which would leave the world DEVASTATED and DISTRAUGHT.
"YEAH. I was just fucking minding my own business, yeah? And I find this TREASURE," Well, stole, but who was really counting, "and I'm just carrying it around and shit, looking for a nice cottage, and these two BITCHES start ATTACKING ME and DESTROYING my beard, AND THEN THIS BEAR EATS ME. I mean, what the FUCK? Come ON? Who's REALLY the villain in all this?" Her rant against the cruelty of her tale and the unfairness of her label as villain, it was a well practiced and well worn speech.
OOC: Rose needs to puzzle out that the boy's a virgin ...hollowhorsemanJanuary 17 2008, 13:14:27 UTC
He started to protest that he was leaving his stuff outside, but really, who was going to steal his school notebooks? Rather than go against the grain with this crazy person, he let himself be pulled inside.
It took him a minute to figure out she was describing her Tale. He'd never heard the real story, just the Disney version - which was different enough to be unrecognizable.
"It does sound like you got the short end of the stick," he admitted. From the end of her rant, it sounded like ... maybe she got labeled as the villain in the traditional telling? Of course, so did he, so that didn't mean much.
"YEAH." Nodding fervently in agreeance, somewhat dragging and somewhat pulling the boy indoors as they stepped inside the sliding door to enter one of the University's countless corridors, Rose was enjoying this. As it was a DISTINCT RARITY to rant about her unfair lot in life to someone who didn't blab on about that TINY MISUNDERSTANDING involving a stolen pile of treasure THAT SHE SWORE WAS JUST LAYING AROUND.
And revelling in the indoors, her books were quickly discarded to the way side and coat just as quickly peeled off. For what sort of Rose Bloom would she be if she did not take every opportunity to reveal the fact that, yes, sorry world, she wasn't actually wearing that much. "So, baby cakes, did they eaver find your head in your tale, or are you still looking for it?"
Jonathan tried not to be utterly distracted by the lack of clothing on the girl underneath her coat. How did anyone live in New York dressed like that? Seriously, that skirt was more like a belt.
"Um, no, it got shot off by a canon, I think. Which was why the Headless Horseman was still haunting Sleepy Hollow - he was a ghost." Trying to talk sensibly about his Tale, when he knew so little about it in the first place, while she was dressed like that (or undressed as the case appeared to be) was fruitless. He was trying anyway.
Wow. WAY TO COMPLETELY IGNORE THE SEXUAL CONNOTATIONS, SLICK. And gratuitously rolling her eyes as he blabbed on about canons or some shite that she REALLY didn't care about (read: business major, also known as NOT CARING about anything that had to do with literature), the time was spent as he talked by musing over what she had to do that evening. Though, in all honesty, it didn't exactly matter WHAT shae planned, much of it would probably be spent counting and re-counting the glorious two-hundred dollars made from a single date off Avery Klutch. Her, obsessed with money? Such li--
Oh wait. He had stopped talking.
And was looking.
Quite a bit.
A grin started to spread accross her face. And her legs may hve been deliberately spread just that slightest amount. "Cupcake, would you like to take a photo?"
Despite being a relatively intelligent, self-sufficient young man, sexual innuendo went flying right over Jonathan's pretty little head. He hadn't made the connection at all between "headless" and oral sex.
He also hadn't realized he was staring at her legs.
He jerked his eyes back up to her face, and felt a slow heat creep up his neck. "Sorry," he muttered. "Just ... Aren't you cold?" he asked, trying in vain to seem as if he was worried about the temperature of her knees more than the shape of them.
Reply
"How did you even do this?" he asked, fingers fumbling with the Gordian knot that had somehow whipped itself around her jacket fastener. "And HI," he added with a grimace.
Reply
"Rose Bloom. Dwarf. And you're HURTING ME." The last statement being a bold faced, melodramatic lie.
Reply
Reply
SCISSORS? KNIVES? WHAT WAS THIS? SOME SORT OF DISGUSTING PLOY BY ANSER?
And a look of very real terror crossing her face, staring at the army knife, she was going to DIE. DIE. DIE. "ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME? This is my HAIR! If your some pony of Anser's just taking the shit on his orders, I'm going to FEED that Pearl girl to Easy and WATCH, and just KEEP AWAY from my HAIR, for the love of GOD!"
Reply
Reply
"Anser, professor, tragic pedo, I reckon. Pearl, possible Lolita. And OF COURSE it's hopelessly stuck, it's what it DOES, four reincarnations back it even got stuck in the GUILLOTINE for Christ's sake!" Shutting her eyes after EVER SO CLEARLY explaining things to the thicky, trying to think pleasant, soothing thoughts, she was going straight to the shop and getting a bar of chocolate after this DISGUSTING afternoon. "Just," Taking deep breaths, she was trying desperately not to think what a butchery he was about to make of her precious hair, "cut it quick."
Reply
"There. You're welcome," he added with a bit of a grimace. "So do you greet every new Tale you meet with a crisis, or am I special?"
Reply
Oh yeah, the kid was still here.
"That wasn't a crisis, it was a TRAGIC NEAR DEATH moment. And nah, usually it's just a saucy wink and WITTY conversation." Which she'd likely be doing now, had she not needed several minutes to recover from the OPERATION to get back to her usual innuendos and promises.
Reply
"So you said something about being a dwarf?" he said, trying to steer to conversation away from anything involving the Tragic Hair Knot of '08.
Reply
"YEAH. I was just fucking minding my own business, yeah? And I find this TREASURE," Well, stole, but who was really counting, "and I'm just carrying it around and shit, looking for a nice cottage, and these two BITCHES start ATTACKING ME and DESTROYING my beard, AND THEN THIS BEAR EATS ME. I mean, what the FUCK? Come ON? Who's REALLY the villain in all this?" Her rant against the cruelty of her tale and the unfairness of her label as villain, it was a well practiced and well worn speech.
Reply
It took him a minute to figure out she was describing her Tale. He'd never heard the real story, just the Disney version - which was different enough to be unrecognizable.
"It does sound like you got the short end of the stick," he admitted. From the end of her rant, it sounded like ... maybe she got labeled as the villain in the traditional telling? Of course, so did he, so that didn't mean much.
Reply
And revelling in the indoors, her books were quickly discarded to the way side and coat just as quickly peeled off. For what sort of Rose Bloom would she be if she did not take every opportunity to reveal the fact that, yes, sorry world, she wasn't actually wearing that much. "So, baby cakes, did they eaver find your head in your tale, or are you still looking for it?"
Reply
"Um, no, it got shot off by a canon, I think. Which was why the Headless Horseman was still haunting Sleepy Hollow - he was a ghost." Trying to talk sensibly about his Tale, when he knew so little about it in the first place, while she was dressed like that (or undressed as the case appeared to be) was fruitless. He was trying anyway.
Reply
Oh wait. He had stopped talking.
And was looking.
Quite a bit.
A grin started to spread accross her face. And her legs may hve been deliberately spread just that slightest amount. "Cupcake, would you like to take a photo?"
Reply
He also hadn't realized he was staring at her legs.
He jerked his eyes back up to her face, and felt a slow heat creep up his neck. "Sorry," he muttered. "Just ... Aren't you cold?" he asked, trying in vain to seem as if he was worried about the temperature of her knees more than the shape of them.
Reply
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