Too much to think about
Not much here but just thinking wich i think is very bad for me. i am thinking about everything from my mom and our money problem to leaving this week comingup. I want to leave to get a break for myself cuz i know that i need it i am going crazy. Don't get me wrong i love the boys but they are becoming way to much for me to handle on a everyday basis. And i will be without my mom for the week well a break is good but i worry will she do something stupid? Will she be okay by herself, well she will have the boys for a couple of hours in the evening, but otherwise they will be at her moms house. i don't know i know that i can't take alll the pressure and it has to be a thousand times worse for her and will she crack. I relized i am more capable of cracking than i thought i was. And for this week i will be spending it at my dads moms house with my cousin amber and hopefully all the other little cousins. i don't know when i hang with amber or collin it's like i'm with my friends and i can act crazy and wild without thinking about it. i can't be myself around very many people except our group. And beyond that i had a crazy dream last night it was about Patty when they are normally about Alaina. I don't know me and Niki went over to my old school and saw everyone that i hung out with before and when i saw Patty we just clicked. I don't know how but we ended up in eachothers arms and holding eachother. I felt like i was watching myself. I know i was watching myself and who ever i was when watching me was crying, and i think Alaina was the one watching. I think i was seeing myself through her eyes. I don't know what it means. But i'm going to get out of here so i can get up before eight tomorrow, mom has the day off and we are going to get her brakes fixed and to the secretary of state and off to more places. Well NIkki i read everything that you wrote and wow things seem tofit you and if you need help on any of that english crap just ask. We need to get together soon maybe you can come over my house and spend the night with me. How does that sound? We can watch the neighbor all the time. Who by the was was talking to me and mom for about fifteen minutes today, wow, i was happy.