RENTAL MOVIES (6/6)
Title: Rental Movies (6/6)
Author: fairchristabel
Rating: PG
Summary: Chenzel (Kristin/Idina)
A/N: My first RPF, and , I think, my first attempt at any kind of fanfic. I wrote this back in 2006, but just posted it to the comm, and not my journal, so I’m rectifying that now. Kind of angsty, but it ends up happy, so that’s something.
A/N 2: The end. Geez, as I was glancing back over this, I realized that this was some angsty crap. Maybe I just needed to get the angst out before I could write other stuff. I don’t know.
Idina stirred slightly, the sunlight streaming across her face as her cheek rubbed against the stiff upholstery of the arm of the couch. Her eyes blinked open, and were greeted by the familiar black television screen. She pushed the blanket off of her and stood up, stretching her arms above her head. As she stood there on tiptoes, arms extended to their fullest, she heard a muffled thump from the kitchen. Idina immediately dropped down in a crouch and glanced about for a suitable weapon. She picked up an umbrella and crept toward the kitchen. As Idina approached the door, she noticed a smell. Is that pancakes? She slowly stuck her head around the door frame. The kitchen was empty, save for the pan on the stove and the plate of pancakes on the table. It is pancakes. Somebody broke in to cook themselves breakfast?
Idina straightened and sauntered into the kitchen, umbrella held at her side, trying to appear nonchalant. She bent down and sniffed the pancakes. Why would somebody leave their pancakes behind after going to all the trouble of making them? Maybe they’re supposed to be for me. But what kind of person would leave food here and not tell me or leave me a message? A person that’s trying to poison me. Crap. I can’t eat ’em now. Well, maybe just a little bite wouldn’t hurt. Idina grabbed a fork with her left hand and bent to cut into a pancake.
“Idina.”
Idina whirled around, dropping the fork on the floor and brandishing her umbrella like a sword. The end came shooting out, stopping just short of Kristin’s nose. “You’re still here,” she said, surprised.
“I said I would be,” Kristin replied as she gestured at the umbrella, which was still pointed at her. “You gonna poke me with that or somethin’?”
Idina resisted a wild urge to do just that and instead lowered the umbrella and stood there awkwardly, her left hand absently rubbing her right elbow. “But why are you still here? You’re never here when I wake up.”
Kristin stepped closer to Idina. “Dee. All those times before, when I visited you at night and then left you, that wasn’t me. I wasn’t really here with you. That all took place right in here,” she said as she reached up and tapped Idina’s forehead with her finger. Idina jerked away from her touch and took a step back. Kristin backed up also. She sat down at the table and gestured at the plate of pancakes. “You hungry, Dee? I made you pancakes and juice.”
Idina eyed Kristin warily and rubbed her forehead. I didn’t hit myself again, did I? And surely I didn’t cook myself pancakes. Unless I’ve been sleep walking. Or maybe I DO have split personalities, and one of the other ones took over for a little while, and it’s the one that can cook, and she made breakfast for me...whoa, Idina, slow down. You do not have multiple personalities. What’s that thing, the simplest answer is usually the right one? Okay. The simplest answer isn’t multiple personalities, or someone breaking in and making me pancakes as part of an elaborate plot to poison me. The simplest answer is that Kristin is really here, but that’s the one I sure is wrong, so-
“Dee? They’re getting cold.”
Idina pulled out her chair and sat down. She looked down at the plate of pancakes, not meeting Kristin’s eyes. “I dropped my fork,” she mumbled.
“You can have mine.”
Kristin picked up her fork and laid it gently beside Idina’s plate.
“Thanks,” Idina said uneasily, still not looking up. She leaned her umbrella against the leg of her chair and picked up the fork. Idina cut into a pancake and lifted it into her mouth, chewing slowly. She looked up and found Kristin watching her, a hint of sadness in her eyes. Idina swallowed. Why is she looking at me like that? Christ, maybe these are poisoned.
“How are they?”
“They’re good,” Idina said, dropping her eyes and spearing another bite. Okay, I already decided they’re not poisoned, and I didn’t cook them myself, but it can’t really be Kristin, right? Why would she show up now, after all this time? And if it is her, why didn’t she come to see me when she got into town? “You’re not real,” she decided out loud. “You can’t be.”
“Are you talking to your pancakes, Dee? ’Cause they must at least taste real, the way you’re inhaling them.”
Idina paused, fork in her mouth. She finished chewing, then carefully set her fork down on the table. “I’m talking about you. You’re not real.”
“Why do you think that?”
“It doesn’t make any sense, you really being here. My Kristin is out in Hollywood. She made that choice a long time ago. And Kris doesn’t do anything halfway. Once she decides on something, she commits to it completely, no holding back. She hasn’t done everything she wanted to yet, so there’s no way she’d come back here.”
“She did decide to leave, but that doesn’t mean she would never come back.”
“How long have you been here?”
“What?” Kristin seemed thrown by the sudden shift in conversation.
“How long have you been in New York?”
“Three-no, four days, now.”
“And you weren’t going to call me, or come see me? Just hope we never bumped into each other or talked to mutual friends? Sorry I ruined your little plan.”
“There was no plan. I wanted to see you. You’re the reason I’m here.”
“Oh, so you were just waiting for the right moment to spring a surprise visit on me.”
“I was waiting to talk to Taye.”
“Taye? Why? You never asked his permission before.”
“He’s the one who told me I needed to come here,” Kristin said. “He called me about a week ago and said that you needed me, and that I should come home. But he asked me not to see you until the he and I could talk, face-to-face.”
Got her. “Yeah, that’d be pretty difficult, seeing as how he’s filming in Poland right now. You’re gonna have to come up with something better than that.”
“I know he’s in Poland,” Kristin replied calmly. “But he has a week off and he flew back in late last night. I was supposed to meet him for lunch today. He said he would call you and let you know that he was coming back. Go ahead, check your messages. You’ll see.”
Idina stared at Kristin suspiciously. She leaned over and picked her cell phone up off the counter, flipping it open. Seventeen unopened messages. Idina started with the most recent and worked her way back. There were two from her mom, one from her sister, and a reminder from her psychiatrist that their appointment had been rescheduled for the next week. When the next message started playing, she heard Taye’s familiar voice.
“Hey, it’s me. Just wanted to check up on you, see how you were doing. You still visiting Dr. Kenset? You do what she tells you to, she’s good. Hey listen, Dee, I’ve got next week off, so I’m flying back to New York. I’ve got a surprise for you. I know you’ll like it. Call me back, okay? Bye.”
Idina clicked End and closed her phone.
“Well, did he leave you a message?”
“Yeah,” Idina answered, setting her phone back in its place, her mind racing furiously. How did she know about that? If she is a hallucination, she could only know what I know. And I didn’t know about that message. Oh God, it’s her. It’s really her. She’s here. She swallowed. “You’re really here.”
“Yes.”
“And you were here last night, too.”
“Yes, all last night and this morning.”
Idina picked up her fork and began tapping it on the table. “Taye called you and told you to come.”
“He said he thought this was where I should be.”
Of course, she’s only here because Taye called her. Huh. The nerve, warning her to stay away from me until they could talk. “Why’d he want to talk to you before you saw me? He want to warn you that I’m a crazy lady now?” Idina grinned, a little madly.
Kristin seemed unperturbed by the question. “He did say that you were visiting a psychiatrist, yes, but he didn’t say you were crazy.”
“Good. ’Cause I’m not.” Idina stood up suddenly, sending her chair sprawling. “Shouldn’t you be leaving now for your little date? I’d hate to keep the two of you from getting to talk about me.”
“We’re not talking about you, Dee,” Kristin said, exasperated. “He called me because he thought maybe I could help you. That’s what friends do. They look out for people they care for.”
Idina snorted and sat back down. “If there’s anyone whose help I don’t need, it’s yours. And since when were we friends? You told me when you left that you didn’t want to be friends with me.”
“You know that’s not what I meant, Dee,” Kristin said, looking even more frustrated. “It was just too much. I didn’t feel like I could go back to being just your friend. It would’ve been too hard.”
“Harder than moving across the country and never talking to me?”
“Don’t push that all on me. I did try to call you, but you wouldn’t talk to me.”
“What would we have talked about?”
“I don’t know!” Kristin threw her hands in the air. “Our jobs, our friends, life. I would’ve talked about anything with you, just to hear your voice.”
“That sounds a lot like friendship, Kris.”
“I know,” she whispered, dropping her hands in her lap and studying them. “I think maybe I was wrong about that. I’d rather have been friends with you, then not have you at all,” Kristin said, hands twisting in her lap.
Idina resisted an urge to reach out and stoke Kristin’s hair. Down girl, she told herself firmly. She examined Kristin’s down-turned head. She does look awfully pitiful, though. Idina sighed. “I guess it’s partly my fault too.”
Kristin glanced up. Idina shrugged, a bit uncomfortable. “I could’ve called you back. I was just so angry and upset with you that I didn’t even want to think about you, much less talk to you. I had no interest in making your life even the tiniest bit easier, when you had just left me here to fall apart.”
“But you didn’t fall apart.”
“Not right away. The show must go on, right?” Idina picked at the tablecloth. “You know I thought about quitting, after you left.”
“You did?”
Now Idina was the one staring at her hands. “Mmm-hmm. Taye talked me out of it. Said it was just a knee-jerk reaction to you leaving and I should give it some time,” she said. Idina looked up, a ghost of a smile on her face. “I told him I hated my new Glinda.”
“What did he say to that?”
“That I should give her a chance, and that I shouldn’t expect her to measure up to you. I told him there would only ever be one Glinda for me.”
Kristin smiled. “I don’t think I could ever work with another Elphaba. It would be too strange, to look into her eyes, and not see you staring back at me.”
Idina picked up her glass and swirled it, watching the orange juice whirlpool she created. “The Glinda I worked with in London, she was huge. Well, normal-sized, really, but huge compared to you.”
“Are you mad at me for not coming to London with you?”
“No. I mean, I thought you might, but I didn’t expect you to.”
“Why did you do it?”
“I don’t know, it just seemed like the right thing at the time. Everything was falling apart. Taye and I were separating, and I felt like I was drowning, sitting around here in this apartment, trying to figure out what to do with my life. When they called me and asked me to come, it was like someone threw me a life-line,” she said, setting down the juice. And I missed Oz,” she finished quietly.
“I miss Oz too,” Kristin said softly. “I think about it, about us, almost every day. Leaving was the hardest thing I ever did.”
“Not following you was the hardest thing I ever did.”
Kristin gazed at Idina, a surprised look on her face. “You thought about following me?” Idina’s nod was nearly imperceptible. “Why didn’t you?”
“I wasn’t sure you’d want me. I mean, I asked you to stay, and you said no.”
“Dee, I couldn’t stay, you know that.”
“I know, I just thought-”
“What?”
“I thought you’d ask me to come with you.”
Kristin smiled. “That’s not my line, Dee. Besides, how could I ask you to give up everything, just to come with me?”
“I would’ve said yes.”
“I was afraid you wouldn’t,” she answered, her eyes lowering as she picked up her napkin and twisted it. “I couldn’t take that risk. I don’t think I would’ve made it if I had to leave because you rejected me.”
Idina smiled slightly as she toyed with her fork. “I had to stay because you rejected me.”
“I know,” Kristin whispered. She looked up and met Idina’s gaze. “I’m so sorry, Dee. I should have tried harder. I should have stayed, and stuck it out. I should have asked you to come with me. I should have been stronger,” she whispered, tears rolling down her face.
Idina shook her head. She reached across the table and took Kristin’s hands in her own. “I’m the one who should be apologizing, Kris,” she said gently. “It’s my fault it got this far. I was too scared. Scared of leaving Taye and being rejected by you, and ending up all alone. I should have been braver. I should have left Taye the day I knew I loved you. I should have trusted you enough to give up everything else and follow you where ever you went. I should have told you how much I love and need you, because without you I don’t make sense.”
“I was the one who left, Dee,” Kristin said, caressing Idina’s knuckle with her thumb. “I’m to blame for all this.”
“But I made you go. I didn’t give you a choice. You had to leave.”
Kristin chuckled weakly, and raised a hand to dash away her tears. Idina watched her, confused. Kristin looked at Idina and laughed harder. “Sorry,” she said. “I just had this picture of us, sitting here all day, having the same argument over and over again, and using different words to say the same things.”
Idina was silent for a moment, then she chuckled as well. She released her grip on Kristin’s hand and leaned back, wiping tears from her eyes. Kristin’s giggles joined her own, and for the next few minutes, the only noise in the kitchen was the sound of the two women’s laughter.
“I’ve missed your laugh,” Kristin said as the room grew quiet.
“You did?” Idina asked, embarrassed.
“Mmm-hmm. Mostly, I missed being the cause of your laughter, making you happy.”
Idina’s eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry, Kris. If I had just been a little braver, we could’ve-”
“Hey,” Kristin said, reaching over and gently wiping the tears away with her thumb, “no more of that kind of talk, okay? That conversation is closed.”
“But-”
“No, Dee,” Kristin said firmly. “I won’t let you do that. We’re both to blame here. Let’s just leave it at that, all right? No good will come from revisiting the past. The only thing that really matters now is that I love you.”
“I love you too.”
“I know you do, sweetie,” she said, squeezing Idina’s hand. Kristin grinned. “After all, only true love could bear to sacrifice a cinematic gem like Bewitched to the iron gods below.”
“That was an accident,” Idina smiled back. “Besides, what about you? You can’t buy my movies, you just rent them?”
“I do own them, I just didn’t have them with me. They’re coming with the rest of my stuff in two days.”
“The rest of your stuff? Wait-you mean-” the words piled up in Idina’s brain, but she was too afraid to let them out, for fear they were the wrong ones.
“I’m moving back. Taye was right. It’s time for me to come home.”
“You’re moving back. Here,” she stuttered. Idina’s brain, which had been racing moments before, now moved like cooling molasses.
Kristin stood up and walked around the perimeter of the kitchen, trailing a finger on the counter. “Well, not here, specifically. I mean, we can stay here if you’d like, but I thought we might want to find a new apartment.”
Idina stared at Kristin’s back, in shock. Did that really just happen? Have I actually-Argh! Stop it! Shut up! Shut up! Idina shook her head, hoping to clear it. She looked up to find Kristin staring at her worriedly.
“We don’t have to move, Dee. I just thought it might be good to start fresh somewhere.”
Idina smiled and stood up, banishing all thoughts that had nothing to do with Kristin. She walked over and wrapped her arms around Kristin. “I think a new apartment is a great idea. A new place, where the memories are just of us.”
Kristin smiled tremulously, her cheeks glistening. “I love you, Dee.”
“I love you too,” Idina whispered, gazing into Kristin’s eyes. As Idina watched, Kristin’s eyelids slowly closed and her head tilted back. Idina raised a trembling hand and ran it through blonde hair. Tears blinded her for a moment, before she hurriedly blinked them away. Idina bent her head to Kristin’s, and closed her eyes as their lips met.
Kristin pulled away first. She reached up and wiped the tears from Idina’s face. “Silly girl,” she whispered, “you’re not supposed to cry.”
“Look who’s talking,” Idina choked out.
Kristin wrapped her arms around Idina’s waist and pulled her close. She sighed and laid her head on Idina’s chest. “I’ve missed you so much, Dee.”
Idina enveloped Kristin in her arms, her cheek resting lightly on Kristin’s head. Idina smiled and closed her eyes, content at last.