My Google-fu is failing me

[fair_witness]

So there's this episode of a TV show I'm half-remembering, and it's driving me up the wall.  Here's what I remember:

• Late 1980s or early 1990s
• Anthology show, possibly the sort of late-night thing I only got away with watching because my mom was working nights, or possibly I was at college and didn't need anyone's permissin to watch trashy TV
• The

Comments

[candidgamera]

Twilight Zone revival series, maybe? I don't know, the loose description would have me looking at Tales from the Crypt.. what about Friday the 13th, the Series?

[fair_witness]

Yeah, I went through the Tales from the Crypt episode guides (both on IMDB and Wiki) a couple times and nothing was really matching my memories there. I hadn't thought of Friday the 13th, but I remember that series having more recurring characters (namely, the folks who owned the shop) than were in this episode I saw. TZ revival is a possibility.

[candidgamera]

Do you remember if contained nudity or language that would make it pay-cable-only? That would narrow down the field considerably.

[fair_witness]

I'm not remembering nudity, though plenty of sexytime implications - low-cut blouses and bikinis, because the witches were the sexy kind of witches.

As far as dialogue goes, I'm afraid only scraps are left in my memory banks ... stuff like:

"How long have you known her?"
"Oh--" (actress toys with ankh) "--ages!"

The witches chanting, "The power of witchcraft is with us tonight" as something bad happens to the sleazeball protagonist.

One of the witches playfully sprinkling the powdered supplement in the hot tub while the sleazy sales guy mildly protests that that's not how you use the supplement, but he's too distracted by the thought of getting laid to stop her.

Some other bits and pieces from the ritual, and a vague image of one of the witches swinging a sword or other blade at the guy, but no gory result shown on screen.

Not a lot to go on, I know.

[candidgamera]

That's helpful, because if it were Tales from the Crypt, there would have been more than implications..

[fair_witness]

Yeah, at first I was thinking The Hitchhiker or Tales from the Darkside rather than Tales from the Crypt, but ... meh.

[candidgamera]

So, getting methodical on its proverbial ass :

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthology_series#Science_fiction_and_horror

Active during the 80's/90's :

Amazing Stories (1985-87)
Are You Afraid of the Dark? (1990-2000)
Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction (1997-02)
Chiller (TV Series) (1995)
Fantasy Island (1977-84)
Freddy's Nightmares: A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Series (1988-90)
Ghost Stories (1997-98)
Goosebumps (1995-98)
Monsters (1988-91)
Perversions of Science (1997)
Ray Bradbury Theatre (1985-92)
Tales from the Darkside (1984-88)
Tales from the Crypt (1989-96)
Tales of Mystery and Imagination (1995)
Tales of the Unexpected (1979-88)
The Twilight Zone (1959-2003)

Can probably axe Are You Afraid of the Dark and Goosebumps right out of the gate.. also doesn't really sound like Fantasy Island.

[fair_witness]

Yeah, I doubt it was Fantasy Island, and it was way too "adult" for Afraid of the Dark or Goosebumps. Definitely not classic Twilight Zone, because I remember color and 80s hair.

I checked the 80s TZ episode guide, and I'm not sure any of those fit the bill. Amazing Stories was a bust when I looked yesterday, and this was a bit dark for a Spielberg property of that era. I don't think Monsters had the budget for what I remember seeing on screen, but I checked that anyway last night just in case.

Maybe Elm Street?

[candidgamera]

Don't see any witches or salesmen in the summaries here :
http://nightmareonelmstreetfilms.com/site/beyond-the-films/freddys-nightmares-a-nightmare-on-elm-street-the-series/freddys-nightmares-episode-breakdowns/

Chiller is British, five episodes, and a little late; Perversions of Science didn't do magic. So, pruning a bit more :

Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction (1997-02)
Ghost Stories (1997-98)
Ray Bradbury Theatre (1985-92)
Tales from the Darkside (1984-88)
Tales from the Crypt (1989-96)
Tales of Mystery and Imagination (1995)
Tales of the Unexpected (1979-88)
The Twilight Zone (1959-2003)

[candidgamera]

ToMaI is all Poe, all the time. Another one down.

Ghost Stories : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Ghost_Stories_episodes

No witch, salesman, or powder in the synopses.

[fair_witness]

Definitely not British; the accents I remember are American or Canadian.

Not seeing anything I remember in the Darkside or Crypt guides, and I've checked a couple versions of those episode lists.

Beyond Belief is probably out because it didn't start until after I was married, and I think I saw this in high school or college.

[candidgamera]

I just haven't struck Darkside or Crypt because of their size, no slight to your research skills intended. :)

Didn't find any likely hits on Ray Bradbury Theater, though a few salesmen and one witch were present :

http://www.innermind.com/myguides/guides/bradbury.htm

[candidgamera]

Tales of the Unexpected :
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Tales_of_the_Unexpected_episodes

No likely suspects..

[candidgamera]

Tales from the Dark Side - episodes #41 and #65 look like possibles, but the correlation is weak.

[fair_witness]

Yeah, neither of those episodes sound quite right.

Let me talk through the plot some more here ... I don't know that his sales career was a huge plot point. More of a character trait - the guy's a smooth talker and very persuasive, so naturally he's in sales, but the story is more about how he uses those same skills to get laid a lot. Because he's a total jerkface, he rarely calls back in the morning and basically isn't looking for anything more than his own gratification.

And of course, since this is a TV show, one day he sleeps with the wrong woman, who has the power to take revenge not only for herself but for all women he has wronged.

Wow. I think I remember a line from the tail end of the episode now - "Better luck next lifetime." Or perhaps "Better luck in your next life." But I'm pretty sure part of the ritual was about sending him off to his next incarnation, where hopefully he'd learn to be less of a sleazeball.

[candidgamera]

Hrrrmm. It REALLY sounds like Tales from the Crypt, but you're right in that none of the episode summaries seem to line up. are you sure it was a TV show, and not a movie playing on TV?