and everything is falling apart.
why does it seem like whenever it seems like everything is falling into place it all just crashes down? whenever it seems like i can finally be truly happy it all just gets ripped away from me. don't i deserve my happiness? everyone that surrounds me obviously gets to be happy, but why is it whenever i try to be it just never works out. why is it i build my hopes up on false things. if two people truly care for each other they should attempt to withstand anything right? well why is it that it seems like im willing to but shes not. distance sucks we all know this, but why cant it be one of those where you hate to be away from them and what not and cant wait to be with them and then when you are finally together it makes up for all the time you were apart. why is it im willing it to be that way and shes not? why do i always put my trust in everyone so easily. not thinking about getting hurt because of my naivety. its been so long since ive been with someone. april 18 was exactly a year since i last kissed someone. the first person i ever kissed. the person ive only kissed. i wanted her to be one of the few people that i care enough to kiss. i still want her to be that person. i just wish she could understand we dont have to make it this hard. it's only this hard if you want it to be. sure, things getting in the way of seeing each other sucks super bad. but what about when you actually have the chance to see each other and its just amazing. why be miserable and alone when you could be miserable with some amazing times that make up for it all? why do i seem to be the one that always gets hurt. i treat people how id like to be treated. the best i can. i dont cheat on people. i dont say crap about them. i dont pick fights at everything. mostly i think im pretty easy to get along with dating wise. it takes a lot to get me mad because ive had a lot of stuff to handle. so what is wrong? why is it this always happens to me? i always say i give up. but then it just happens again. i let it happen again. but i really think we could be happy when we're together. why cant we just have those moments. why cant we. why.
oh yeah it was also my birthday on monday. that was nice. and i got my braces off yesterday. thats a plus. otherwise. all i want is her. if any of you can get her to come visit me i will love you for life. it's all i want.
oh yeah it was also my birthday on monday. that was nice. and i got my braces off yesterday. thats a plus. otherwise. all i want is her. if any of you can get her to come visit me i will love you for life. it's all i want.