(no subject)

[faintofheart_]

I got in an accident today. I hit a young girl with my car as she was crossing the street. I'll never forget that image. She's going to be ok apparently she didn't break anything and was conscious of where she was. I don't know if either of us have ever cried that much, I went back to my car to call my dad and I absolutely lost it for a while. There were lots of witnesses, and the officer said they all told him the same thing, that she bolted out from across the street through some cars who didn't even let her go (there was no cross walk obviously) and I slammed on the brakes and couldn't do anything else. But that's not very comforting, but it seems like she's going to be ok, I'll find out more soon enough. When I first saw her there I had never been so scared in my life, but hearing that she should be fine, it calmed me down a lot. 5-6 people came over and started talking to me and comforting me, there was even a minister there and he was really nice. They helped immensely, the only positive in a situation like that is you see the kindness of some strangers. If they didn't stick with me and keep talking I don't know what I would have done. Everytime I think of it I just can't stop crying and I don't know why, what a fucking day... just thinking like, a split second either way, she hit the headlight area, if it was one way she would have been fine, if it was the other way I could have killed her... that's fucked up...

Anyway. I don't think it's something I'd ever bring up in person, but something that I needed to tell. So yeah. Friday the 13th... now I go to work in an hour... I dunno if that's a good idea, guess we'll find out.

Edit: After mom sees my state, I decided I don't quite think I want to be in public right now. So I'm just going to relax here and try to function properly...