sometimes it just feels better to give in
its a quite and calm night tonight. no clear reason as to why i cannot sleep, but yet here i lay staring at the ceiling. the room is filled with the faint light provided by the blue Christmas lights which surround my closet and window. a nice ambiance which adequately suits my mood. there is a firefly seemingly aimlessly making its way around my room. i follow its path as i am somewhat entertained by it. ten minutes turns to an hour. as i once again take my focus off the firefly back to this entry my thoughts begin to race but organize at the same time. i throw on some brand new and try to once again relax. "never gonna get it right" as the song says. how true that statement seems sometimes. i begin to think, am i really much different then the wondering firefly circling my room? do i have no clear destination? and is this town trapping me just like the enclosures of my wall are trapping the fly? or am i not aimlessly wondering but rather looking for a way out? this may all of course be pointless symbolism. but it is something to think about none the less...