mad_muses - 2.2.4 - Now That I've Found You
And I'm sucked in by the wonder and I'm fucked up by the lies//And I dig a hole to lie in and I build some wings to fly//And I think that I could love you cause you know how to be free//I want you to come walk this world with me ~Heather Nova
She was nearly four months along. Starting the second trimester and it felt like it. With the morning sickness faded, everything...getting bigger. The whole thing just felt different. More comfortable almost. Well...aside from the fact that she hadn't had sex in a very long time. Which hadn't really mattered to her before, but in recent days it was getting to her more and more. Apparently it wasn't abnormal for her sex drive to increase at that time. It didn't do her much good though with Sam away.
Her hand rubbed her stomach slowly and unconsciously. She was on her back on the couch in the silent apartment. Work had been dull lately. She was on desk duty and she hated it. She was nearly ready to say screw it and start her maternity leave, but...she had to get out during the day. She had to associate with someone, instead of sitting home alone all the time.
"Mmm, what do you think, Baby," she murmured. "Should we rearrange the apartment? Hmm?"
She sighed and glanced around the room. It was boring her. She'd been staring at the walls quietly for months, and she was starting to dislike them.
"Maybe when you're older we'll paint the walls with whatever colors we like. Go wild and crazy," she smiled softly. "Maybe you'll be artistic...that would be nice. Or if you're not..." She sighed and shifted slightly on her back. Her weight wasn't getting to be too much of an issue yet, but she was still getting cramps. And there were only so many times she could ask Bruce to massage her back. She'd asked Lloyd once, but he went pale and gasped and ran off.
"I'd even love you if you were a complete dork like them," she chuckled softly. She bit her lip a bit as she sighed. She had never understood the capacity to...love unconditionally. She loved her family, of course, but this...this was different. Once she felt her body changing more, her stomach starting to grow...her baby became real to her, and she loved her baby more than she had loved anything. All these weeks now it was just the two of them. She told her baby everything that was in her head. About her mother. Her family. Her career before her surgeries. Her career after. She talked about meeting Dean. And Sam. All the good times. The painful times.
It helped, and it hurt. She figured some things out, some stuff she didn't. It didn't matter though. She had her baby close to her. The one person that she could always love, take care of, and need without feeling stupid about it. The one person that could love her...not matter what. Not that it was why she wanted her baby - as a means to have someone there to love her - but it was a fantastic bonus.
It had come to the point that she couldn't imagine her life not being pregnant with this baby. Every single inch of pain that got her to that moment, all of it...she wouldn't exactly say she was glad she went through it, but she now knew why. For her baby.
"Maybe a vacation," she whispered, her hand still rubbing her stomach soothingly. "We could spend the next five months on a warm beach somewhere. Get room service. Personal massages. Wouldn't that be fun?" Her eyes closed as she tried to hold back the tears rising. She wasn't sure what emotion was bringing the tears, they were just there. And it didn't bother her.
"We've got the world," she murmured. "You and me, Baby." She sighed and fell quiet for awhile. Not really thinking of much, but laying there. After awhile her hand came up to brush her eyes. "Maybe we should call your aunt Amy," she said finally. "I haven't seen her in months...you'll meet her one day. She takes care of your crazy Mom. I think she'd look out for you, too. One of...many that will look after you." She nodded, sighing slowly. "It'll be okay. When you're here, no matter what our family ends up being...you'll be okay." The words fell out slowly as she started to ease off to sleep. "You'll be okay."
705
She was nearly four months along. Starting the second trimester and it felt like it. With the morning sickness faded, everything...getting bigger. The whole thing just felt different. More comfortable almost. Well...aside from the fact that she hadn't had sex in a very long time. Which hadn't really mattered to her before, but in recent days it was getting to her more and more. Apparently it wasn't abnormal for her sex drive to increase at that time. It didn't do her much good though with Sam away.
Her hand rubbed her stomach slowly and unconsciously. She was on her back on the couch in the silent apartment. Work had been dull lately. She was on desk duty and she hated it. She was nearly ready to say screw it and start her maternity leave, but...she had to get out during the day. She had to associate with someone, instead of sitting home alone all the time.
"Mmm, what do you think, Baby," she murmured. "Should we rearrange the apartment? Hmm?"
She sighed and glanced around the room. It was boring her. She'd been staring at the walls quietly for months, and she was starting to dislike them.
"Maybe when you're older we'll paint the walls with whatever colors we like. Go wild and crazy," she smiled softly. "Maybe you'll be artistic...that would be nice. Or if you're not..." She sighed and shifted slightly on her back. Her weight wasn't getting to be too much of an issue yet, but she was still getting cramps. And there were only so many times she could ask Bruce to massage her back. She'd asked Lloyd once, but he went pale and gasped and ran off.
"I'd even love you if you were a complete dork like them," she chuckled softly. She bit her lip a bit as she sighed. She had never understood the capacity to...love unconditionally. She loved her family, of course, but this...this was different. Once she felt her body changing more, her stomach starting to grow...her baby became real to her, and she loved her baby more than she had loved anything. All these weeks now it was just the two of them. She told her baby everything that was in her head. About her mother. Her family. Her career before her surgeries. Her career after. She talked about meeting Dean. And Sam. All the good times. The painful times.
It helped, and it hurt. She figured some things out, some stuff she didn't. It didn't matter though. She had her baby close to her. The one person that she could always love, take care of, and need without feeling stupid about it. The one person that could love her...not matter what. Not that it was why she wanted her baby - as a means to have someone there to love her - but it was a fantastic bonus.
It had come to the point that she couldn't imagine her life not being pregnant with this baby. Every single inch of pain that got her to that moment, all of it...she wouldn't exactly say she was glad she went through it, but she now knew why. For her baby.
"Maybe a vacation," she whispered, her hand still rubbing her stomach soothingly. "We could spend the next five months on a warm beach somewhere. Get room service. Personal massages. Wouldn't that be fun?" Her eyes closed as she tried to hold back the tears rising. She wasn't sure what emotion was bringing the tears, they were just there. And it didn't bother her.
"We've got the world," she murmured. "You and me, Baby." She sighed and fell quiet for awhile. Not really thinking of much, but laying there. After awhile her hand came up to brush her eyes. "Maybe we should call your aunt Amy," she said finally. "I haven't seen her in months...you'll meet her one day. She takes care of your crazy Mom. I think she'd look out for you, too. One of...many that will look after you." She nodded, sighing slowly. "It'll be okay. When you're here, no matter what our family ends up being...you'll be okay." The words fell out slowly as she started to ease off to sleep. "You'll be okay."
705