I fucking hate people...I swear I do
Yeah so I was supposed to go to Wake tonight to see The Junior Varsity, Greenwood, && Bastian play, but obviously if I would've gotten to go, I'd be there right now instead of typing in this piece of shit blog. I have fucking had all I can take of irresponsible, unreliable people. I wanted to go out and have some fun tonight because when I got back to work Tuesday, I am working a 6 hour shit, which I know isn't too much, but it's the longest I've ever worked, plus I can't do shit at all next weekend because Saturday I work 12-7pm && Sunday I work 11-7pm. && those are obviously 7 && 8 hour shifts, && my feet are going to hurt so damn bad that I'm not going to want to do shit when I get off except for sleep. I really don't want to work those shifts, but hell it's money that I fucking need. Part of me is glad that they're making me work more hours, but part of me isn't because I know I'm going to be in pain. I wish it was more days a week, instead of just three days a week && 6,7,&& 8 hour shifts, but oh well. Atleast I'm getting paid. So yeah earlier today Shea texted me saying, "So my girlfriend is pregnant && it isn't mine. So what about that second chance?" Honestly I don't know. I'm hung up as hell on Jeremy. I know I shouldn't be, && if I could help it, I wouldn't be, but I can't help who I have feelings for. I mean it's not that I don't have feelings for Shea, it's the matter of me not knowing whether I can trust him or not, even just a little bit. I mean...I don't know, I just keep getting these feelings everytime I think about how I want to date Shea, that there's just something I about him I can't trust. I don't know...I hate this, I really do. I really like Shea, I mean I seriously do, but I'm just so fucking hung up on Jeremy, that I don't want to be with anyone knowing how I feel about him. Because it's not fair to me, but above all, it's not fair to the other person. But I'm done for now because me && Michell are tryin to figure something out. I didn't want to do anything tonight cus I'm so pissed off, but we're probably gonna see if Courtney wants to do something tonight because I love those two girls, they can make me feel better, && I haven't seen Courtney is soo long.
<3 Christina
<3 Christina