I'm not over you, I'm just letting you go.
So I'm not going to lie. It's obvious. I like Jeff. That could be a bad thing considering he's Mikey's friend, but I think it's time for me to move on. It sucked for me to find out that the reason things are where they are with us now is because he likes two other girls besides me. I know there's a 1/3 chance of shit happening, so really there's no point in pursuing it anymore. I'm sure those girls are probably way prettier than me & way cooler. Let's face it...girls who are real && don't try to pose as something we're not don't get the cute guys (often), but those fake ass chicks are always the ones who get the good ones, && I'm sorry, but they don't deserve it. It seems like Jeff has been showing atleast a little interest, so who knows. Maybe for once I'll get what I want. Then again, I could just be getting m signals crossed. Wouldn't be the first time. It's weird though because lately me && Jeff have been talking a good amount between the phone && the internet. The more I talk to him, the more I like him. I'm going to feel pretty stupid if this blows up in my face, which it probably will. Hopefully I'll see him at Wake this Saturday because I'm going to go see Greenwood play. The only thing is, I know Mikey will probably be there because he likes Greenwood too. It's going to be hard to be around him. I'm not giving up on him, I'm basically just backing off && letting shit slide by && whatever happens is whatever happens whether I end up dating Mikey or not. He said I had a chance, but honestly, I'm sure I'm nothing compared to the other two girls he likes. I'm actually really excited about hopefully seeing Jeff though.
If I've noticed one thing about me lately, it's that me being single && not haveing anyone who needs me or wants to be with me in general is making me miserable. Actually, to be honest, it's my fault I'm miserable because I've had several chances to move on with other people, so basically I've only been hurting myself. But the next opportunity I get to be happy with someone, I'm taking it as long as the person is someone I can actually see myself with. So for those of you who want to be with you (which is probably nobody), you better start growing the balls to tell me now because you never know when that chance will be gone. && it could be sooner than you think.
After typing all of this out, I've realized...I'm pretty negative. But you know what...when you've had as many put downs as I have, it's pretty easy to be that way. I mean, I'm not saying I've had a worse life than other people, because I know I haven't by far had as bad of a life as some people, but I know I've had a pretty cruddy one. Also...last night I got depressed again. Go figure. I've actually been pretty depressed all week, but I think besides Sunday it reached it's peak last night because like Sunday, I cut last night. I know Brock said people only do it for attention, but honestly for once, I'm saying fuck his opinion because it's not true. (Don't get me wrong Brock I love ya, but I that's one opinion of yours that I can truely say I hate with a passion.) It's my punishment for fucking up. Because honestly whenever I get what I want, I fuck it up. Hopefully the next time I get something I truely want, I'll learn from my past mistakes && experiences && not fuck it up for once in my pathetic ass life. I'm done now.
<3cutieXface<3
Christina
If I've noticed one thing about me lately, it's that me being single && not haveing anyone who needs me or wants to be with me in general is making me miserable. Actually, to be honest, it's my fault I'm miserable because I've had several chances to move on with other people, so basically I've only been hurting myself. But the next opportunity I get to be happy with someone, I'm taking it as long as the person is someone I can actually see myself with. So for those of you who want to be with you (which is probably nobody), you better start growing the balls to tell me now because you never know when that chance will be gone. && it could be sooner than you think.
After typing all of this out, I've realized...I'm pretty negative. But you know what...when you've had as many put downs as I have, it's pretty easy to be that way. I mean, I'm not saying I've had a worse life than other people, because I know I haven't by far had as bad of a life as some people, but I know I've had a pretty cruddy one. Also...last night I got depressed again. Go figure. I've actually been pretty depressed all week, but I think besides Sunday it reached it's peak last night because like Sunday, I cut last night. I know Brock said people only do it for attention, but honestly for once, I'm saying fuck his opinion because it's not true. (Don't get me wrong Brock I love ya, but I that's one opinion of yours that I can truely say I hate with a passion.) It's my punishment for fucking up. Because honestly whenever I get what I want, I fuck it up. Hopefully the next time I get something I truely want, I'll learn from my past mistakes && experiences && not fuck it up for once in my pathetic ass life. I'm done now.
<3cutieXface<3
Christina