Conspiracy?
Okay so I was putting on our security system and I noticed something that I had not noticed before. Something so graphic, ludacrous and degrading, I was sternly appalled.
Who the fuck are they to talk about my rear like that? I happen to think my rear is quite nice but that isn't the point! I'm going to sue the alarm company for their hurtful words. We pay a lot of money for this system and for them to degrade me in such a manner is absolutely vile. I figured that nobody would believe me so I took pictures for documented proof.
So just as I begin to recover from that traumatic experience, my heart is broken once again.
I make my way to the reeferidgerator (fridge for my pot) and I see something that looks like this:
I questioned my sister and she informed me that it was mini blueberries but I could tell she was trying to put a fast one by me. I wasn't buying any of it. It's obviously rabbit poop.
My family is trying to kill me.
I'm suing them too. I have proof of the alleged "mini blueberries", they're all going away for attempted murder, poison being their weapon.
[Edit] I think I may have solved the puzzle. I now have a motive on behalf of my family. It happened yesterday. My mother always barges into my room without knocking which really pisses me off so I decided to teach her a lesson. Well yesterday morninng I hear her footsteps so I waited on my chair holding my wee wee. She barges in, as usual and screams "Oh My God!!!!!!!!!" and I say "That's why you knock, bitch!". So we haven't spoken since then and I think this is her getting back at me.
That vindictive bitch [/edit]
Poll My sanity
Who the fuck are they to talk about my rear like that? I happen to think my rear is quite nice but that isn't the point! I'm going to sue the alarm company for their hurtful words. We pay a lot of money for this system and for them to degrade me in such a manner is absolutely vile. I figured that nobody would believe me so I took pictures for documented proof.
So just as I begin to recover from that traumatic experience, my heart is broken once again.
I make my way to the reeferidgerator (fridge for my pot) and I see something that looks like this:
I questioned my sister and she informed me that it was mini blueberries but I could tell she was trying to put a fast one by me. I wasn't buying any of it. It's obviously rabbit poop.
My family is trying to kill me.
I'm suing them too. I have proof of the alleged "mini blueberries", they're all going away for attempted murder, poison being their weapon.
[Edit] I think I may have solved the puzzle. I now have a motive on behalf of my family. It happened yesterday. My mother always barges into my room without knocking which really pisses me off so I decided to teach her a lesson. Well yesterday morninng I hear her footsteps so I waited on my chair holding my wee wee. She barges in, as usual and screams "Oh My God!!!!!!!!!" and I say "That's why you knock, bitch!". So we haven't spoken since then and I think this is her getting back at me.
That vindictive bitch [/edit]
Poll My sanity