Sherlock Holmes and the Case of Many Dead Women
I recently discovered that Big Finish, who I only knew as publisher of a gazillion Doctor Who audioplays, also have a Sherlock Holmes Range. I listened to a lot of their Who stuff and really loved it but their Sherlock Holmes stuff is...not good.
("But Eva, why did you listen to so many, then?" - "Because I kept hoping and also Big Finish had a summer sale so I had them all anyway*")
*OK, some where also part of the new audiobook streaming service I discovered which brings me back to 'I kept hoping'
Sherlock Holmes and The Ripper
I want to say "One day I will learn" but let's face it: I won't. I have read/watched/listened to many Holmes vs Ripper stories and enjoyed one (1) so far. It wasn't this one. This is another From Hell-inspired one aka It's the Royal family's fault. Now it's not the worst Ripper-story - with or without Holmes - that I ever consumed but mind you that is a list that includes a story by a writer who considered reading a Wikipedia page as too much research, two stories that didn't reveal the identity of the Ripper at all (one of which suggested that the Ripper was actually helpful because people cared more about Whitechapel afterwards) and a writer who thanked Jack the Ripper in the introduction because he inspired so many writers. So really, it's a bit like saying "It's not as bad as having your eyes poked out with a rusty spoon"
The Tangled Skein
Or: Sherlock Holmes vs. Dracula.
Also featuring: Stapleton. You know the bad guy from The Hound of The Baskervilles who fell into the moor at the end. But why bother making up a new villain when you can simply revive an old one. And add Dracula. And have them both kill lots of women to show how evil they were.
Now I didn't complain about the murdered women in the Ripper one because, well I know what I was getting myself into when starting a story featuring Jack the Ripper and I guess Dracula is also...not famous for its strong female characters and tbh I don't expect a feminist update of a not very feminist classic in a 90 minute audioplay but it felt so...uninspired. And I have an intense dislike of reviving dead villains when you can't be bothered to make up some on your own.
On the other hand, looking at some of the villains they made up in the other stories...this is a perfect story and I have zero complaints.
The Reification of Hans Gerber
Or: Sherlock Holmes vs. Bad German Accents
This was actually the best of the lot since it was just a story about Holmes dealing with a murdered family patriarch and a mysterious re-appearing heir. No big bad in the background who secretly wants to take over the world, no revived baddies, no Dracula. No murdered women. I could tell one of the twists quite early on but it didn't bother me too much.
The Adventure of the Perfidious Mariner
Or: Sherlock Holmes, the Titanic and more bad German accents.
Watson's wife has died on the Titanic because we need another dead woman so that a man can feel bad. Bruce Ismay - the director of the White Star Line who was on the Titanic, escaped on one of the last lifeboats and was not very popular afterwards - comes to Holmes because he fears he is cursed. Watson isn't fond of him either, since you know dead wife and he blames Ismay for it but Holmes doesn't care, he takes the case anyway. Apart from the dead wife, there's also an evil women and a big conspiracy because Holmes solving normal cases is boring.
The Ordeals of Sherlock Holmes
Or: Sherlock Holmes says no to drugs
Now this one actually had a neat idea: four or rather five cases spanning over four decades: first one each for Holmes and Watson before they meet and then three at different points in their partnership, all of them connected. That could have been really cool, except for the fact that the connection was... a magical drug.
Like proper magic. Depending on plot necessity it makes you immortal, crazy or heals otherwise deadly wounds. Mostly it makes men immortal and women crazy. Then women die. Many women are also evil. Sometimes both. The big finale takes place in a fake Central European country with a prime minister called Tlitzlmann Blench. The evil woman from the Perfidious Mariner re-appears. It does have a rather cute ending.
[Spoiler (click to open)]
Holmes thinks Watson is dead and is so distraught that he does not notice that strange guy who approaches him is Watson in disguise. The scene is quite lovely but also Watson survived thanks to magic drug.
The Judgement of Sherlock Holmes
Or: Sherlock Holmes and the Daddy Issues
Post-Reichenbech Holmes remembers that there is another incredibly evil mastermind with an incredibly evil mastermind organisation he has to deal with. He does so in Tibet, while Mycroft, Watson and Lestrade also have to deal with the same evil mastermind organisation in London. The evil mastermind organisation thinks Watson knows Holmes is alive and where he is so they poison Mary Watson with one of these incredibly convenient fictional poisons that kills in exactly 5 days or whatever and only want to give him the antidote if he reveals Holmes whereabouts. Mycroft gets also poisoned because whatever. Lestrade looses his reputation because of reasons that are far too boring to explain.
Oh and Watson tortures member of Evil Mastermind Organisation to give up the antodote because this is dark and gritty Sherlock Holmes.
Evil Mastermind Organisation had something to do with Holmes Senior who also isn't actually Mycroft's father. The relevance of that is not gone into.
Holmes trades the antodote for Mycroft and Mrs Watson against a super secret weapon that the Evil Organisation had given to his father because...reasons. He somehow gets the antidote to everyone without Watson finding out he is alive after all. This is great for Mycroft but only vaguely helpful for Mary Watson who then gets shot by the guy Watson had tortured. Dark and gritty Sherloch Holmes. Remember.
No, I did not make any of this up
("But Eva, why did you listen to so many, then?" - "Because I kept hoping and also Big Finish had a summer sale so I had them all anyway*")
*OK, some where also part of the new audiobook streaming service I discovered which brings me back to 'I kept hoping'
Sherlock Holmes and The Ripper
I want to say "One day I will learn" but let's face it: I won't. I have read/watched/listened to many Holmes vs Ripper stories and enjoyed one (1) so far. It wasn't this one. This is another From Hell-inspired one aka It's the Royal family's fault. Now it's not the worst Ripper-story - with or without Holmes - that I ever consumed but mind you that is a list that includes a story by a writer who considered reading a Wikipedia page as too much research, two stories that didn't reveal the identity of the Ripper at all (one of which suggested that the Ripper was actually helpful because people cared more about Whitechapel afterwards) and a writer who thanked Jack the Ripper in the introduction because he inspired so many writers. So really, it's a bit like saying "It's not as bad as having your eyes poked out with a rusty spoon"
The Tangled Skein
Or: Sherlock Holmes vs. Dracula.
Also featuring: Stapleton. You know the bad guy from The Hound of The Baskervilles who fell into the moor at the end. But why bother making up a new villain when you can simply revive an old one. And add Dracula. And have them both kill lots of women to show how evil they were.
Now I didn't complain about the murdered women in the Ripper one because, well I know what I was getting myself into when starting a story featuring Jack the Ripper and I guess Dracula is also...not famous for its strong female characters and tbh I don't expect a feminist update of a not very feminist classic in a 90 minute audioplay but it felt so...uninspired. And I have an intense dislike of reviving dead villains when you can't be bothered to make up some on your own.
On the other hand, looking at some of the villains they made up in the other stories...this is a perfect story and I have zero complaints.
The Reification of Hans Gerber
Or: Sherlock Holmes vs. Bad German Accents
This was actually the best of the lot since it was just a story about Holmes dealing with a murdered family patriarch and a mysterious re-appearing heir. No big bad in the background who secretly wants to take over the world, no revived baddies, no Dracula. No murdered women. I could tell one of the twists quite early on but it didn't bother me too much.
The Adventure of the Perfidious Mariner
Or: Sherlock Holmes, the Titanic and more bad German accents.
Watson's wife has died on the Titanic because we need another dead woman so that a man can feel bad. Bruce Ismay - the director of the White Star Line who was on the Titanic, escaped on one of the last lifeboats and was not very popular afterwards - comes to Holmes because he fears he is cursed. Watson isn't fond of him either, since you know dead wife and he blames Ismay for it but Holmes doesn't care, he takes the case anyway. Apart from the dead wife, there's also an evil women and a big conspiracy because Holmes solving normal cases is boring.
The Ordeals of Sherlock Holmes
Or: Sherlock Holmes says no to drugs
Now this one actually had a neat idea: four or rather five cases spanning over four decades: first one each for Holmes and Watson before they meet and then three at different points in their partnership, all of them connected. That could have been really cool, except for the fact that the connection was... a magical drug.
Like proper magic. Depending on plot necessity it makes you immortal, crazy or heals otherwise deadly wounds. Mostly it makes men immortal and women crazy. Then women die. Many women are also evil. Sometimes both. The big finale takes place in a fake Central European country with a prime minister called Tlitzlmann Blench. The evil woman from the Perfidious Mariner re-appears. It does have a rather cute ending.
[Spoiler (click to open)]
Holmes thinks Watson is dead and is so distraught that he does not notice that strange guy who approaches him is Watson in disguise. The scene is quite lovely but also Watson survived thanks to magic drug.
The Judgement of Sherlock Holmes
Or: Sherlock Holmes and the Daddy Issues
Post-Reichenbech Holmes remembers that there is another incredibly evil mastermind with an incredibly evil mastermind organisation he has to deal with. He does so in Tibet, while Mycroft, Watson and Lestrade also have to deal with the same evil mastermind organisation in London. The evil mastermind organisation thinks Watson knows Holmes is alive and where he is so they poison Mary Watson with one of these incredibly convenient fictional poisons that kills in exactly 5 days or whatever and only want to give him the antidote if he reveals Holmes whereabouts. Mycroft gets also poisoned because whatever. Lestrade looses his reputation because of reasons that are far too boring to explain.
Oh and Watson tortures member of Evil Mastermind Organisation to give up the antodote because this is dark and gritty Sherlock Holmes.
Evil Mastermind Organisation had something to do with Holmes Senior who also isn't actually Mycroft's father. The relevance of that is not gone into.
Holmes trades the antodote for Mycroft and Mrs Watson against a super secret weapon that the Evil Organisation had given to his father because...reasons. He somehow gets the antidote to everyone without Watson finding out he is alive after all. This is great for Mycroft but only vaguely helpful for Mary Watson who then gets shot by the guy Watson had tortured. Dark and gritty Sherloch Holmes. Remember.
No, I did not make any of this up