Sequence four Ѽ In the name of 'please shoot me now'...
Warnings: It's a crack dream. OOCness abound and bad slash innuendo. Also bad references to too many games/TV shows/manga. Oh and language
Effects: Confusion and plain freaking out
The dream starts with Desmond up on a wall, shimming slowly to a window, every steps carefully taken. As he reaches the opening, he stealthily looks inside the bricked building, obviously trying to eavesdrop on the conversation there. Inside, in what looks like a kitchen, the ginger head historian some might know as Shaun Hasting is trying to reach a box of Oreo cookies on the upper shelf. He grumbles to himself before calling out in that annoying snarky tone of his: "Really, can't you just give me a boost?"
There's the sound of fabric shifting and there's movement Desmond can't plainly see, but it's definitely his voice that answers back: "Oh baby, I'll give you a boost you'll remember..."
The novice's eyes open wide as saucers as his teammate actually giggles, his once raised arms wrapping around whomever is in front of him: "Oh darling, I know you can...mmm..."
Desmond yelps in surprise and confusion and loses his grip on the window sill, falling down backward: "Aaaaah!" Luckily, he lands on a pile of hay. Unluckily, he finds himself in a closed off room filled with mindless people with pointy hats and pet lizards. The pets hiss and bare their teeth and closes on as he backs up to the wall, reaching for the his Hidden Blade, but only to find that it's not there anymore. "Shit..."
But suddenly, the only door of the room bursts open and Chloe comes in laughing maniacally, dressed as a dominatrix and mounted on a black winged unicorn. "Mine! My precious! Where is he?"
The Assassin is about to ask what the fuck she's talking about when the distinctive sound of someone ziplining can be heard and Nathan Drake drops in, Shaun securely holding on his neck. The treasure hunter lands with a roll and stands up in one motion, hands on his hips and his scarf flying into the wind that drafts in out of nowhere. The man points the Aussie, looking as smug as he can, and the viewers can easily recognize Desmond's voice as Drake speaks: "Give it up, Chloe! You'll never have him! Because Shaun is mine!" Nate reaches for the pocket of his shirt and pulls out aviators shades, pausing to talk once more before putting them on: "Him and I are making history together."
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" screams one of the pet lizard as it jumps on Nathan, only to have his slithering friends join in.
"Nate! Look out!" screams Shaun to warn his husband and Desmond watches, gaping and confused as the people with pointy hats grab Shaun and slowly drag him to Chloe. Surprisingly enough, the historian manages to break away from his captors and pulls out a pen from his back pocket: "I will never be yours, hag! British power, make up!"
Light shines all around Shaun and Desmond is momentarily blinded. When the bartender is able to look at the other Assassin again, the man is now dressed in a ridiculously short skirt in the colors of the Union Jack, complete with a white leotard, a matching bow and collar, high heel boots and gloves. The historian makes an equally ridiculous pause and points at Chloe, trying to look as threatening as he can be in that outfit: "You should leave us alone! You'll never get nothing of these sweet buttocks! Our love will conquer all! In the name of history and knowledge, I will educate you! Tea pot rod, pour power!"
The red head points a puny looking pink tea pot towards Chloe and a spray of tea hits the brunette. She falls down of her mount and starts to scream as she catches on fire. In the mean time, Drake manages to push all the lizards off him with a manly roar, his now inexplicably wet shirt tearing up a little with the effort. The lizards scatter away as their mistress burns and Shaun runs over to the treasure hunter and jumps into his arms: "My hero!"
Drake smiles smugly as he grabs the man’s ass and leans down to kiss him, almost getting there before...
[Desmond wakes up with a short, surprise yelp. He looks queasy and covers his mouth in fear of being sick while his Dreamberry emits a yellow light]
WHAT...THE...FUCK?!?!
Effects: Confusion and plain freaking out
The dream starts with Desmond up on a wall, shimming slowly to a window, every steps carefully taken. As he reaches the opening, he stealthily looks inside the bricked building, obviously trying to eavesdrop on the conversation there. Inside, in what looks like a kitchen, the ginger head historian some might know as Shaun Hasting is trying to reach a box of Oreo cookies on the upper shelf. He grumbles to himself before calling out in that annoying snarky tone of his: "Really, can't you just give me a boost?"
There's the sound of fabric shifting and there's movement Desmond can't plainly see, but it's definitely his voice that answers back: "Oh baby, I'll give you a boost you'll remember..."
The novice's eyes open wide as saucers as his teammate actually giggles, his once raised arms wrapping around whomever is in front of him: "Oh darling, I know you can...mmm..."
Desmond yelps in surprise and confusion and loses his grip on the window sill, falling down backward: "Aaaaah!" Luckily, he lands on a pile of hay. Unluckily, he finds himself in a closed off room filled with mindless people with pointy hats and pet lizards. The pets hiss and bare their teeth and closes on as he backs up to the wall, reaching for the his Hidden Blade, but only to find that it's not there anymore. "Shit..."
But suddenly, the only door of the room bursts open and Chloe comes in laughing maniacally, dressed as a dominatrix and mounted on a black winged unicorn. "Mine! My precious! Where is he?"
The Assassin is about to ask what the fuck she's talking about when the distinctive sound of someone ziplining can be heard and Nathan Drake drops in, Shaun securely holding on his neck. The treasure hunter lands with a roll and stands up in one motion, hands on his hips and his scarf flying into the wind that drafts in out of nowhere. The man points the Aussie, looking as smug as he can, and the viewers can easily recognize Desmond's voice as Drake speaks: "Give it up, Chloe! You'll never have him! Because Shaun is mine!" Nate reaches for the pocket of his shirt and pulls out aviators shades, pausing to talk once more before putting them on: "Him and I are making history together."
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" screams one of the pet lizard as it jumps on Nathan, only to have his slithering friends join in.
"Nate! Look out!" screams Shaun to warn his husband and Desmond watches, gaping and confused as the people with pointy hats grab Shaun and slowly drag him to Chloe. Surprisingly enough, the historian manages to break away from his captors and pulls out a pen from his back pocket: "I will never be yours, hag! British power, make up!"
Light shines all around Shaun and Desmond is momentarily blinded. When the bartender is able to look at the other Assassin again, the man is now dressed in a ridiculously short skirt in the colors of the Union Jack, complete with a white leotard, a matching bow and collar, high heel boots and gloves. The historian makes an equally ridiculous pause and points at Chloe, trying to look as threatening as he can be in that outfit: "You should leave us alone! You'll never get nothing of these sweet buttocks! Our love will conquer all! In the name of history and knowledge, I will educate you! Tea pot rod, pour power!"
The red head points a puny looking pink tea pot towards Chloe and a spray of tea hits the brunette. She falls down of her mount and starts to scream as she catches on fire. In the mean time, Drake manages to push all the lizards off him with a manly roar, his now inexplicably wet shirt tearing up a little with the effort. The lizards scatter away as their mistress burns and Shaun runs over to the treasure hunter and jumps into his arms: "My hero!"
Drake smiles smugly as he grabs the man’s ass and leans down to kiss him, almost getting there before...
[Desmond wakes up with a short, surprise yelp. He looks queasy and covers his mouth in fear of being sick while his Dreamberry emits a yellow light]
WHAT...THE...FUCK?!?!