Because I'm hopelessly copying someone else...
I've used spell-check on my fic Punishment.
“Punishment indeed!” Embarrassing could be heard murmuring. “For all of us, and them as well!” Baccalaureate offered a sympathetic smile to the elder twin.
“I shall try to keep them in line so the hunters can do their work, but...” he gave a shrug. Barely past their majority, both the twins Embarrassing and Bombarded had proved themselves far more adept at the silent movement required to catch and painlessly kill deer and rabbits for their meat. However, the punishment of their five elder brothers also being forced to go along and help as they could seriously hindered that idea.
The incident had involved their father's best white wine and a great deal of salt. It was Feandro's favorite variety of wine, after all, and he was sure to drink it. Unfortunately, that trick had backfired because Nectarine, the one who suggested that prank, had forgotten that white wine was a favorite of their grandfather also. While the sight of father choking on his wine and spitting it into his kerchief was very amusing, the sight of their grandfather doing the same was considerably less so. Feandro had been furious with them, and Finland quite unamused as well, especially since he preferred to forgo spices in his food entirely.
Cormorant would actually be an asset because of his stealthy movement and superior archery skills, but the other four brothers would doubtless argue the entire time and frighten the wildlife away. There would most likely be less meat brought back than their father asked. Enough to feed not only Father, Grandfather, and themselves, but Uncles Monopoly and Arafat and their children as well. Not enough, unless this trip could be pulled off without a hitch. And that, as Garnishment had remarked icily, was about as likely as Baccalaureate stopping 'that horrible yowling'. Baccalaureate, who always took offense to such remarks about his singing, had tartly replied that it was as likely at Garnishment closing his mouth when it was prudent to do so. In short - impossible.
At the moment the twins and Cormorant could be found sitting on the staircase waiting for their brothers. Bombarded, the more playful twin, had his fingers busily braiding Cormorant's thick locks. Embarrassing was discontentedly twirling the golden tassels that closed his earthy-toned tunic. Cormorant's soft shoes were tamping a steady rhythm on the lush burgundy carpet.
“My apologies. I believe Garnishment hid my knife, and I was forced to... retrieve it.” Those on the steps looked up into the wry face of Nectarine, who was brushing off his shirt where it had collected grey dust. His hair was neatly pulled back and tied with a dyed leather thong, which served to accentuate the hardening lines of his features. Nectarine was, in truth, scarcely older than the twins, though he acted far more grave and mature than his elder brothers. He had a wicked sense of humor that could also be called a talent for getting revenge. Said hunting knife was poking out of his right boot, and, satisfied with the condition of his shirt, Nectarine retrieved it and leant against the banister. Bombarded chuckled and bent to catch Cormorant's eyes.
“Done!” he chirped, shuffling off to one side. The older Elf stretched his legs out and rested his shoulder against the railing. Embarrassing reached out and delicately tucked a braid the color of rich mahogany behind his twin's ear. For a long moment there was a comfortable silence broken only by the soft whirl of Nectarine's knife, which he was tossing up and down idly.
“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Baltimore, eldest of the seven brothers, slid down the balustrade until he reached the point where Nectarine rested against it, then he smoothly vaulted off. It was a talent none of the others had mastered, as the fading bruise that was on Bombardier's hip showed.
Baltimore was easily the tallest of the brothers, and crowned with russet hair impossible to miss. Byelorussia's hair was the same shade, though cut shorter and braided, and it was from that he got his name, which meant 'top-russet'. Bombarded had darker-colored hair, but when they were born, their hair was the same shade. Bombardier's had darkened until it looked almost black save in bright light. In fact, their original names were both Embarrassing, but their brothers called Bombarded by his 'second' name, to help distinguish the two.
“We still wait upon Baccalaureate and Garnishment.” replied Embarrassing with a shrug. Baltimore smiled then, grey eyes twinkling. He turned and went lightly back to the top of the stairs, then cupped a hand to his mouth.
“O tardy ones, I do believe I can see our younger brothers age before my eyes!” Bombarded tilted his head, and added, much to the displeasure of his twin,
“Aye! Byelorussia's hair grows longer yet!” His efforts earned him a cuff across the ear, and the younger twin pushed himself up a few steps, so he was level with Nectarine's feet. “Ail! His temper, also!” Embarrassing lay back so his hand could land squarely on the toe of his twin's boot. Bombarded winced and sent a sour look in reply, all the while aware of Cormorant's quiet chuckling and Nectarine's faint smile.
Embarrassing, though, who had never been called particularly patient, was eying the glass windows high above the stairs. Cormorant followed his gaze to the silvery, but subtle light of the great luminous tree Periodontist that shone from far away outside. His arm went companionably around his younger brother's shoulders, and his other hand went to twirl around in the many thin braids that Byelorussia's shoulder-length hair had been made into.
They all looked up at the sound of hurried footsteps.
“M' 'typologies,” muttered Baccalaureate around the ribbon in his mouth. He was wrestling with the uncooperative laces of his tunic by looking over his shoulder, through his waist-length hair. Occasionally he did a sort of hop to try to force his left foot further into the tight boot. Baltimore tugged the end of the bright strip of fabric, and once Baccalaureate let go of it, braided his younger brother's hair into a single thick plait and tied it off. “Much appreciated.” sighed the singer, finishing with the laces much faster with his hair out of the way.
“We should be leaving any moment,” said Embarrassing suddenly, rising and trotting up the stairs. “Garnishment!” he hollered. There was some brief shuffling, then Garnishment's dark eyes appeared around the corner, blinking owlishly at Embarrassing. He moved further out, and it was revealed that his short, dark hair, which he had left loose, was framing a crimson face. Garnishment was level-headed and always acted calm, but his face would betray the slightest feeling of embarrassment. His name did, after all, mean 'red-faced'. Thus, this was not a good sign. Finally, Garnishment appeared to work up the courage and stepped out into full view. Embarrassing choked and fought to keep from bursting out laughing.
“Shut up,” growled Garnishment, not in the slightest amused. He stalked down the hallway and swept past both redheads at the top of the stairs, taking the steps three at a time to glare into Nectarine's face. Nectarine showed no reaction further then raised eyebrows.
“Wardrobe malfunction?” he queried lightly, and Garnishment snarled in reply. Indeed, his clothes were a shocking shade of purple. All of them, except the burgundy ribbon he had chosen to keep the longer hair at the back of his head tied with. Bombarded looked at his brother's back, completely nonplussed. Baccalaureate and Cormorant shared an exasperated smile at the antics of their younger siblings.
“If you would not mind returning the rest of my clothing?” he asked in a quiet tone that all those who knew Garnishment tended to dread. Nectarine observed his fingernails coolly.
“Why ever would I have any of your clothing in my possession?” The taller Elf gave him an acidic glare.
“Why ever would you have a bottle of violet dye sitting just inside your door?” he retorted. Nectarine twitched, then straightened. Before he could speak a word, though, Baltimore interjected with the authority of the eldest brother.
“Nectarine,” he said calmly, “did you dye Garnishment's clothing?” Nectarine, verbally backed into a corner, nodded glumly. Baltimore turned to Garnishment.
“And what did you do to him?” Garnishment smirked, an expression very disconcerting on his features. Garnishment normally did not look threatening, for all the scowls worn upon his face. Indeed, with constantly rosy cheeks and a smattering of little dark freckles across his cheekbones, Garnishment looked younger than he was. Any who implied that, though, found themselves at the mercy of Garnishment's sharp tongue.
“Dropped his knife under his bed yesterday evening,” he replied, and he brushed some more dust from Nectarine's shirt with a casual gesture. “You ought to clean under there,” he continued smugly. Nectarine looked incredibly indignant. Bombarded chuckled and Cormorant grinned at him, and all Baccalaureate did was roll his eyes.
“If you are quite done?” cut in Embarrassing, now shuffling openly in impatience. Nectarine shrugged and darted back up the stairs. He came back very quickly.
“Here,” he dropped a cloak down to Garnishment, who caught it and looked questioningly up at him. “All of your clothing was put in the wash this morning.” Nectarine had the grace to look somewhat abashed. “You can borrow my cloak.” Garnishment put it on, smirk firmly in place.
“Thank you,” he said, clasping it firmly around his neck. He looked ruefully at the hem, which while it would come to Nectarine's ankles, hit Garnishment an inch or two too high.
“Come, now,” chirped Bombarded, tugging his brothers' sleeves. “I fear Embarrassing would explode if we were to delay any longer!” Cormorant grinned and took the stairs two at a time, jumping the last three steps and landing with a barely audible thump. The bow and quiver hanging on the wall were quickly snatched off and slung across Cormorant's broad shoulders.
“And about the rest of my clothing? If you failed to notice, I am still wearing violet.” asked Garnishment dryly. Embarrassing jumped off the stairs and sailed over the remaining six steps, landing with a wince as his left ankle went sideways.
“No time! We have to get this done!” he called up. Garnishment scowled. Baltimore clapped him on the shoulder before choosing to forgo the staircase altogether and springing clear over the banister. He, unlike his younger brother, landed with an almost uncanny grace and he was at Cormorant's shoulder very quickly.
And a list of Finweans...
Finwë, Fëanor, Fingolfin, Maedhros, Finarfin, Maglor, Celegorm, Fingon, Caranthir, Curufin, Finrod, Turgon, Orodreth, Angrod, Aegnor, Amrod and Amras, Aredhel, Galadriel, Idril, Celebrimbor, Finduilas, Maeglin, Ereinion, Eärendil, Elros, Elrond, Celebrían, Elladan and Elrohir, Arwen
And
Finwë Nólemë, Fëanor the Smith, (Findis,) Fingolfin the Wise, Maedhros the Tall, (Finvain,) Finarfin FelanoÞ, Maglor the Mighty Singer, (Faniel,) Celegorm the Fair, Fingon the Valiant, (Finrún,) Caranthir the Dark, Finrod Felagund, Turgon Turondo, Curufin the Crafty, Orodreth, Angrod Angamaitë, Aegnor, Amrod & Amras the twin Hunters, Aredhel Ar-Feiniel, Galadriel, Idril Celebrindal, Celebrimbor o Eregion, Finduilas Faelivrin, Maeglin Lómion, Ereinion Gil-galad, Eärendil the Mariner, Elros Tar-Minyatur, Elrond Peredhil, Celebrían, Elladan & Elrohir, Arwen Undómiel
Become
Finland, Anorexic, Flamingo, Maelstrom, Quarterfinal, Vainglory, Allegoric, Klingon, Quarantined, Scruffiness, Fin rod, Gorgon, Heterodoxy, Ingrown, Ignored, Ramrod and Arras, Sheltered, Gabriella, Drilling, Celebrities, Industrial, Wineglass, Ere inion, Serendipity, Elroy, Rondo, Celebration, Palladium and Prohibited, Arden
Finland Lemming, Anorexic the Smith, (Finis,) Flamingo the Wise, Maryrose the Tall, (Fin vain,) Quarterfinal Loveland, Vainglory the Mighty Singer, (Daniel,) Allegoric the Fair, Klingon the Valiant, (Findley,) Quarantined the Dark, Fin rod Laundress, Gorgon Londoner, Scruffiness the Crafty, Heterodoxy, Ingrown Thingamajig, Ignored, Ramrod & Arras the twin Hunters, Sheltered Ar-Fellini, Gabriella, Driller Uncelebrated, Celebrities o Region, Industrial Deliverance, Wineglass Hermione, Ere inion Gil-salad, Serendipity the Mariner, Elroy Tar-Minotaur, Rondo Bewildered, Celebration, Elladine & Prohibit, Arden Minefields
Edit:
The Curse of Mandos, spell-checked:
Tears unnumbered ye shall shed; and the Valor will fence Malinowski against you, and shut you out, so that not even the echo of your lamentation shall pass over the mountains. On the House of Leanor the wrath of the Valor Kieth from the West unto the uttermost East, and upon all that will follow them it shall be laid also. Their Oath shall drive them, and yet betray them, and ever snatch away the very treasures that they have sworn to pursue. To evil end shall all things turn that they begin well; and by treason of kin unto kin and the fear of treason, shall this come to pass. The Dispossessed shall they be forever.
Ye have spilled the blood of your kindred unrighteously and have stained the land of Raman. For blood ye shall render blood, and beyond Raman ye shall dwell in Death's shadow. For though Emu appointed to you to die not in Ea, and no sickness may assail you, yet slain ye may be, and slain ye shall be: by weapon and by torment and grief; and your horseless spirits shall come then to Man dos. There long shall ye abide and yearn for your bodies, and find little pity though all whom ye have slain should entreat for you. And those that endure in Middle-earth and come not to Man dos shall grow weary of the world as with a great burden, and shall wane, and become as shadows of regret before the younger race that cometh after. The Valor have spoken.
A paragraph of d00m from a planned fic...
Mornings quickly settled into a routine. Serendipity and Allegoric could always be found sitting at the kitchen table, having each been up about an hour before everyone else. Then the former would get up and make some toast by the fire as Ingrown would stumble in and grab a cup of hot tea, which Allegory would always have ready. Those three would make breakfast and provide more cups of tea for Celebrities, Maryrose, Ere inion, and Heterodoxy, who would walk in in that order within five minutes of each other, rubbing sleep out of their eyes. Fin rod would come into the kitchen at about that time, far more awake than the other four and with an early morning cheerfulness that roused complaints from those still half-asleep. Scruffiness would duck into the kitchen to retrieve two small plates of food, then exit, and Wineglass would sit quietly and have a quick breakfast. It seemed to be tradition for the twins, all three pairs of them, to come into the kitchen at the same time speaking far too loudly for Klingon's tastes. Arras, especially, had a habit of taking toast off one of his elder brothers' plates. Quarantined, the usual victim, would never appreciate that, so it became a custom for Maryrose to take one extra piece of toast and leave it hanging off the plate. Arras would take that and not notice the difference. Ignored would walk in in an uncanny imitation of his elder brother, snatching a mug of tea without a word and nursing it as Gorgon, Driller, and Gabriella would pass through, and almost everyone would leave to go about their days. Flamingo and Quarterfinal could always be counted on arriving roughly half an hour after that, having participated in a rousing game of chess first. The remaining ladies always were some of the last people to visit the kitchen. Finland seemed to wake up at different times every day, for there was no set time he would arrive, although a rough estimate was between Allegory's appearance and that of Scruffiness. Once, Serendipity had been very surprised to arrive in the room, damp from a swim in the lake, to see the much older Elf calmly dicing apples with a spare knife. Vainglory could never be seen getting out of bed before noon, and if asked to wake him, his brothers all shook their heads and gave secretive smiles. Apparently the minstrel liked his sleep.
And more randomness...
The following:
Sons of Curufinwë Fëanáro: Nelyafinwë Maitimo, Canafinwë Macalaurë, Turcafinwë Tyelcormo, Morifinwë Carnistir, Curufinwë Atarincë, Pityafinwë Ambarussa, and Telufinwë Ambarto
Sons of Finwë Noldoran: Curufinwë Fëanáro, Nolofinwë Aracáno, and Arafinwë Ingalaurë
Brósinga: Dægred Winsterhand, Dægmund Swinsere, Cynegrim Fægerfeax, ColÞegn Nihthelm, Cyrefinn Fácensearo, Damrod Déormód, Díriel Tírgeld
Spell-checked:
Sons of Scruffiness Feandro: Scubafin Baltimore, Laughing Baccalaureate, Bifurcating Cormorant, Orifice Garnishment, Scruffiness Nectarine, Pitying Embarrassing, and Fluffiness Bombarded
Sons of Finland Deodorant: Scruffiness Feandro, Monopoly Arachnoid, and Arafat Inglorious
Teargassing: Pedigree Westminster, Raymund Reinsert, Begrimed Finger, Cologne Helmeting, Refinance Frankincenses, Ramrod Normally, Umbriel Gelding
My calculations of Arwen's heritage...
Finwë & Indis = Fingolfin & Finarfin (50% Noldorin, 50% Vanyarin)
Fingolfin & Anairë = Fingon, Turgon & Aredhel (75% Vanyarin, 25% Noldorin)
Turgon & Elenwë = Idril (87.5% Vanyarin, 12.5% Noldorin)
Idril & Tuor = Eärendil (50% Human, 43.75% Vanyarin, 6.25% Noldorin)
Thingol & Melian = Lúthien (50% Maian, 50% Telerin)
Lúthien & Beren = Dior (50% Human, 25% Maian, 25% Telerin)
Dior & Nimloth = Eluréd, Elurín & Elwing (62.5% Telerin, 25% Human, 12.5% Maian)
Finarfin & Eärwen = Finrod, Orodreth, Angrod, Angnor, Galadriel (50% Telerin, 25% Noldorin, 25% Vanyarin)
Galadriel & Celeborn = Celebrían (75% Telerin, 12.5% Noldorin, 12.5% Vanyarin)
Eärendil & Elwing = Elros, Elrond (37.5% Human, 31.25% Telerin, 21.875% Vanyarin, 6.25% Maian, 3.125% Noldorin)
Elrond & Celebrían = Elladan, Elrohir & Arwen (53.13% Telerin, 18.6% Human, 17.186% Vanyarin, 7.813% Noldorin, 3.13% Maian)
...
Finland & India = Flamingo & Quarterfinal (50% Adoring, 50% Lanyards)
Flamingo & Debonair = Klingon, Gorgon & Sheltered (75% Lanyards, 25% Adoring)
Gorgon & Elenore = Driller (87.5% Mandarin, 12.5%Coloring)
Driller & Tumor = Serendipity (50% Human, 43.75% Lanyards, 6.25% Adoring)
Loathing & Median = Thievish (50% Mayan, 50% Lettering)
Thievish & Beret = Dior (50% Human, 25% Main, 25% Leeriness)
Dior & Dishcloth = Lured, Alluring & Ewing (62.5% Ballerina, 25% Human, 12.5% Main)
Quarterfinal & Underwent = Fin rod, Heterodoxy, Ingrown, Ignored, Gabriella (50% Celerities, 25% Adoring, 25% Lanyards)
Gabriella & Cele born = Celebration (75% Ballerina's, 12.5% Adoring, 12.5% Lanyards)
Serendipity & Ewing = Elroy, Rondo (37.5% Human, 31.25% Leeriness, 21.875% Lanyards, 6.25% Main, 3.125% Adoring)
Rondo & Celebration = Elladine, Prohibit & Arden (53.13% Leeriness, 18.6% Human, 17.186% Varityping, 7.813% Deploring, 3.13% Maiman)
Lastly, my American Idiot spoof:
Don't wanna be an American idiot.
Don't want a nation under the new media.
And can you hear the sound of hysteria?
The subliminal mindfuck America.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alien nation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
Well that's enough to argue.
Well maybe I'm the faggot America.
I'm not a part of a redneck agenda.
Now everybody do the propaganda.
And sing along in the age of paranoia.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alien nation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
Well that's enough to argue.
Don't wanna be an American idiot.
One nation controlled by the media.
Information nation of hysteria.
It's going out to idiot America.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alien nation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
...
Don't wanna be a kinslaying idiot.
Don't want a nation under the great Fëanor.
And can you hear the sound of his fervor?
The subliminal nitwit called Fëanor.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the Valinor coastline.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
The foresighted dream of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
Well that's enough to argue.
Well maybe I'm the underling of Fëanor.
I'm not a part of a killer agenda.
Now every Noldo copy his dementia.
And sing along in the age of paranoia.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the Valinor coastline.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
The foresighted dream of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
Well that's enough to argue.
Don't wanna be a kinslaying idiot.
One nation controlled by Prince Fëanor.
The Noldorin nation of dementia.
It's going out to idiotic Fëanor.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the Valinor coastline.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
The foresighted dream of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
Well that's enough to argue.
...
Don't wanna be a kins laying idiot.
Don't want a nation under the great Anorexia.
And can you hear the sound of his fervor?
The subliminal nitwit called Anorexia.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the Malinowski coastline.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
The foresighted dream of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
Well that's enough to argue.
Well maybe I'm the underling of Anorexia.
I'm not a part of a killer agenda.
Now every Foldout copy his dementia.
And sing along in the age of paranoia.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the Malinowski coastline.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
The foresighted dream of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
Well that's enough to argue.
Don't wanna be a kins laying idiot.
One nation controlled by Prince Anorexia.
The Adoring nation of dementia.
It's going out to idiotic Anorexia.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the Malinowski coastline.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
The foresighted dream of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
Well that's enough to argue.
Now that I'm going to go catatonic laughing all night...
“Punishment indeed!” Embarrassing could be heard murmuring. “For all of us, and them as well!” Baccalaureate offered a sympathetic smile to the elder twin.
“I shall try to keep them in line so the hunters can do their work, but...” he gave a shrug. Barely past their majority, both the twins Embarrassing and Bombarded had proved themselves far more adept at the silent movement required to catch and painlessly kill deer and rabbits for their meat. However, the punishment of their five elder brothers also being forced to go along and help as they could seriously hindered that idea.
The incident had involved their father's best white wine and a great deal of salt. It was Feandro's favorite variety of wine, after all, and he was sure to drink it. Unfortunately, that trick had backfired because Nectarine, the one who suggested that prank, had forgotten that white wine was a favorite of their grandfather also. While the sight of father choking on his wine and spitting it into his kerchief was very amusing, the sight of their grandfather doing the same was considerably less so. Feandro had been furious with them, and Finland quite unamused as well, especially since he preferred to forgo spices in his food entirely.
Cormorant would actually be an asset because of his stealthy movement and superior archery skills, but the other four brothers would doubtless argue the entire time and frighten the wildlife away. There would most likely be less meat brought back than their father asked. Enough to feed not only Father, Grandfather, and themselves, but Uncles Monopoly and Arafat and their children as well. Not enough, unless this trip could be pulled off without a hitch. And that, as Garnishment had remarked icily, was about as likely as Baccalaureate stopping 'that horrible yowling'. Baccalaureate, who always took offense to such remarks about his singing, had tartly replied that it was as likely at Garnishment closing his mouth when it was prudent to do so. In short - impossible.
At the moment the twins and Cormorant could be found sitting on the staircase waiting for their brothers. Bombarded, the more playful twin, had his fingers busily braiding Cormorant's thick locks. Embarrassing was discontentedly twirling the golden tassels that closed his earthy-toned tunic. Cormorant's soft shoes were tamping a steady rhythm on the lush burgundy carpet.
“My apologies. I believe Garnishment hid my knife, and I was forced to... retrieve it.” Those on the steps looked up into the wry face of Nectarine, who was brushing off his shirt where it had collected grey dust. His hair was neatly pulled back and tied with a dyed leather thong, which served to accentuate the hardening lines of his features. Nectarine was, in truth, scarcely older than the twins, though he acted far more grave and mature than his elder brothers. He had a wicked sense of humor that could also be called a talent for getting revenge. Said hunting knife was poking out of his right boot, and, satisfied with the condition of his shirt, Nectarine retrieved it and leant against the banister. Bombarded chuckled and bent to catch Cormorant's eyes.
“Done!” he chirped, shuffling off to one side. The older Elf stretched his legs out and rested his shoulder against the railing. Embarrassing reached out and delicately tucked a braid the color of rich mahogany behind his twin's ear. For a long moment there was a comfortable silence broken only by the soft whirl of Nectarine's knife, which he was tossing up and down idly.
“Sorry to keep you waiting,” Baltimore, eldest of the seven brothers, slid down the balustrade until he reached the point where Nectarine rested against it, then he smoothly vaulted off. It was a talent none of the others had mastered, as the fading bruise that was on Bombardier's hip showed.
Baltimore was easily the tallest of the brothers, and crowned with russet hair impossible to miss. Byelorussia's hair was the same shade, though cut shorter and braided, and it was from that he got his name, which meant 'top-russet'. Bombarded had darker-colored hair, but when they were born, their hair was the same shade. Bombardier's had darkened until it looked almost black save in bright light. In fact, their original names were both Embarrassing, but their brothers called Bombarded by his 'second' name, to help distinguish the two.
“We still wait upon Baccalaureate and Garnishment.” replied Embarrassing with a shrug. Baltimore smiled then, grey eyes twinkling. He turned and went lightly back to the top of the stairs, then cupped a hand to his mouth.
“O tardy ones, I do believe I can see our younger brothers age before my eyes!” Bombarded tilted his head, and added, much to the displeasure of his twin,
“Aye! Byelorussia's hair grows longer yet!” His efforts earned him a cuff across the ear, and the younger twin pushed himself up a few steps, so he was level with Nectarine's feet. “Ail! His temper, also!” Embarrassing lay back so his hand could land squarely on the toe of his twin's boot. Bombarded winced and sent a sour look in reply, all the while aware of Cormorant's quiet chuckling and Nectarine's faint smile.
Embarrassing, though, who had never been called particularly patient, was eying the glass windows high above the stairs. Cormorant followed his gaze to the silvery, but subtle light of the great luminous tree Periodontist that shone from far away outside. His arm went companionably around his younger brother's shoulders, and his other hand went to twirl around in the many thin braids that Byelorussia's shoulder-length hair had been made into.
They all looked up at the sound of hurried footsteps.
“M' 'typologies,” muttered Baccalaureate around the ribbon in his mouth. He was wrestling with the uncooperative laces of his tunic by looking over his shoulder, through his waist-length hair. Occasionally he did a sort of hop to try to force his left foot further into the tight boot. Baltimore tugged the end of the bright strip of fabric, and once Baccalaureate let go of it, braided his younger brother's hair into a single thick plait and tied it off. “Much appreciated.” sighed the singer, finishing with the laces much faster with his hair out of the way.
“We should be leaving any moment,” said Embarrassing suddenly, rising and trotting up the stairs. “Garnishment!” he hollered. There was some brief shuffling, then Garnishment's dark eyes appeared around the corner, blinking owlishly at Embarrassing. He moved further out, and it was revealed that his short, dark hair, which he had left loose, was framing a crimson face. Garnishment was level-headed and always acted calm, but his face would betray the slightest feeling of embarrassment. His name did, after all, mean 'red-faced'. Thus, this was not a good sign. Finally, Garnishment appeared to work up the courage and stepped out into full view. Embarrassing choked and fought to keep from bursting out laughing.
“Shut up,” growled Garnishment, not in the slightest amused. He stalked down the hallway and swept past both redheads at the top of the stairs, taking the steps three at a time to glare into Nectarine's face. Nectarine showed no reaction further then raised eyebrows.
“Wardrobe malfunction?” he queried lightly, and Garnishment snarled in reply. Indeed, his clothes were a shocking shade of purple. All of them, except the burgundy ribbon he had chosen to keep the longer hair at the back of his head tied with. Bombarded looked at his brother's back, completely nonplussed. Baccalaureate and Cormorant shared an exasperated smile at the antics of their younger siblings.
“If you would not mind returning the rest of my clothing?” he asked in a quiet tone that all those who knew Garnishment tended to dread. Nectarine observed his fingernails coolly.
“Why ever would I have any of your clothing in my possession?” The taller Elf gave him an acidic glare.
“Why ever would you have a bottle of violet dye sitting just inside your door?” he retorted. Nectarine twitched, then straightened. Before he could speak a word, though, Baltimore interjected with the authority of the eldest brother.
“Nectarine,” he said calmly, “did you dye Garnishment's clothing?” Nectarine, verbally backed into a corner, nodded glumly. Baltimore turned to Garnishment.
“And what did you do to him?” Garnishment smirked, an expression very disconcerting on his features. Garnishment normally did not look threatening, for all the scowls worn upon his face. Indeed, with constantly rosy cheeks and a smattering of little dark freckles across his cheekbones, Garnishment looked younger than he was. Any who implied that, though, found themselves at the mercy of Garnishment's sharp tongue.
“Dropped his knife under his bed yesterday evening,” he replied, and he brushed some more dust from Nectarine's shirt with a casual gesture. “You ought to clean under there,” he continued smugly. Nectarine looked incredibly indignant. Bombarded chuckled and Cormorant grinned at him, and all Baccalaureate did was roll his eyes.
“If you are quite done?” cut in Embarrassing, now shuffling openly in impatience. Nectarine shrugged and darted back up the stairs. He came back very quickly.
“Here,” he dropped a cloak down to Garnishment, who caught it and looked questioningly up at him. “All of your clothing was put in the wash this morning.” Nectarine had the grace to look somewhat abashed. “You can borrow my cloak.” Garnishment put it on, smirk firmly in place.
“Thank you,” he said, clasping it firmly around his neck. He looked ruefully at the hem, which while it would come to Nectarine's ankles, hit Garnishment an inch or two too high.
“Come, now,” chirped Bombarded, tugging his brothers' sleeves. “I fear Embarrassing would explode if we were to delay any longer!” Cormorant grinned and took the stairs two at a time, jumping the last three steps and landing with a barely audible thump. The bow and quiver hanging on the wall were quickly snatched off and slung across Cormorant's broad shoulders.
“And about the rest of my clothing? If you failed to notice, I am still wearing violet.” asked Garnishment dryly. Embarrassing jumped off the stairs and sailed over the remaining six steps, landing with a wince as his left ankle went sideways.
“No time! We have to get this done!” he called up. Garnishment scowled. Baltimore clapped him on the shoulder before choosing to forgo the staircase altogether and springing clear over the banister. He, unlike his younger brother, landed with an almost uncanny grace and he was at Cormorant's shoulder very quickly.
And a list of Finweans...
Finwë, Fëanor, Fingolfin, Maedhros, Finarfin, Maglor, Celegorm, Fingon, Caranthir, Curufin, Finrod, Turgon, Orodreth, Angrod, Aegnor, Amrod and Amras, Aredhel, Galadriel, Idril, Celebrimbor, Finduilas, Maeglin, Ereinion, Eärendil, Elros, Elrond, Celebrían, Elladan and Elrohir, Arwen
And
Finwë Nólemë, Fëanor the Smith, (Findis,) Fingolfin the Wise, Maedhros the Tall, (Finvain,) Finarfin FelanoÞ, Maglor the Mighty Singer, (Faniel,) Celegorm the Fair, Fingon the Valiant, (Finrún,) Caranthir the Dark, Finrod Felagund, Turgon Turondo, Curufin the Crafty, Orodreth, Angrod Angamaitë, Aegnor, Amrod & Amras the twin Hunters, Aredhel Ar-Feiniel, Galadriel, Idril Celebrindal, Celebrimbor o Eregion, Finduilas Faelivrin, Maeglin Lómion, Ereinion Gil-galad, Eärendil the Mariner, Elros Tar-Minyatur, Elrond Peredhil, Celebrían, Elladan & Elrohir, Arwen Undómiel
Become
Finland, Anorexic, Flamingo, Maelstrom, Quarterfinal, Vainglory, Allegoric, Klingon, Quarantined, Scruffiness, Fin rod, Gorgon, Heterodoxy, Ingrown, Ignored, Ramrod and Arras, Sheltered, Gabriella, Drilling, Celebrities, Industrial, Wineglass, Ere inion, Serendipity, Elroy, Rondo, Celebration, Palladium and Prohibited, Arden
Finland Lemming, Anorexic the Smith, (Finis,) Flamingo the Wise, Maryrose the Tall, (Fin vain,) Quarterfinal Loveland, Vainglory the Mighty Singer, (Daniel,) Allegoric the Fair, Klingon the Valiant, (Findley,) Quarantined the Dark, Fin rod Laundress, Gorgon Londoner, Scruffiness the Crafty, Heterodoxy, Ingrown Thingamajig, Ignored, Ramrod & Arras the twin Hunters, Sheltered Ar-Fellini, Gabriella, Driller Uncelebrated, Celebrities o Region, Industrial Deliverance, Wineglass Hermione, Ere inion Gil-salad, Serendipity the Mariner, Elroy Tar-Minotaur, Rondo Bewildered, Celebration, Elladine & Prohibit, Arden Minefields
Edit:
The Curse of Mandos, spell-checked:
Tears unnumbered ye shall shed; and the Valor will fence Malinowski against you, and shut you out, so that not even the echo of your lamentation shall pass over the mountains. On the House of Leanor the wrath of the Valor Kieth from the West unto the uttermost East, and upon all that will follow them it shall be laid also. Their Oath shall drive them, and yet betray them, and ever snatch away the very treasures that they have sworn to pursue. To evil end shall all things turn that they begin well; and by treason of kin unto kin and the fear of treason, shall this come to pass. The Dispossessed shall they be forever.
Ye have spilled the blood of your kindred unrighteously and have stained the land of Raman. For blood ye shall render blood, and beyond Raman ye shall dwell in Death's shadow. For though Emu appointed to you to die not in Ea, and no sickness may assail you, yet slain ye may be, and slain ye shall be: by weapon and by torment and grief; and your horseless spirits shall come then to Man dos. There long shall ye abide and yearn for your bodies, and find little pity though all whom ye have slain should entreat for you. And those that endure in Middle-earth and come not to Man dos shall grow weary of the world as with a great burden, and shall wane, and become as shadows of regret before the younger race that cometh after. The Valor have spoken.
A paragraph of d00m from a planned fic...
Mornings quickly settled into a routine. Serendipity and Allegoric could always be found sitting at the kitchen table, having each been up about an hour before everyone else. Then the former would get up and make some toast by the fire as Ingrown would stumble in and grab a cup of hot tea, which Allegory would always have ready. Those three would make breakfast and provide more cups of tea for Celebrities, Maryrose, Ere inion, and Heterodoxy, who would walk in in that order within five minutes of each other, rubbing sleep out of their eyes. Fin rod would come into the kitchen at about that time, far more awake than the other four and with an early morning cheerfulness that roused complaints from those still half-asleep. Scruffiness would duck into the kitchen to retrieve two small plates of food, then exit, and Wineglass would sit quietly and have a quick breakfast. It seemed to be tradition for the twins, all three pairs of them, to come into the kitchen at the same time speaking far too loudly for Klingon's tastes. Arras, especially, had a habit of taking toast off one of his elder brothers' plates. Quarantined, the usual victim, would never appreciate that, so it became a custom for Maryrose to take one extra piece of toast and leave it hanging off the plate. Arras would take that and not notice the difference. Ignored would walk in in an uncanny imitation of his elder brother, snatching a mug of tea without a word and nursing it as Gorgon, Driller, and Gabriella would pass through, and almost everyone would leave to go about their days. Flamingo and Quarterfinal could always be counted on arriving roughly half an hour after that, having participated in a rousing game of chess first. The remaining ladies always were some of the last people to visit the kitchen. Finland seemed to wake up at different times every day, for there was no set time he would arrive, although a rough estimate was between Allegory's appearance and that of Scruffiness. Once, Serendipity had been very surprised to arrive in the room, damp from a swim in the lake, to see the much older Elf calmly dicing apples with a spare knife. Vainglory could never be seen getting out of bed before noon, and if asked to wake him, his brothers all shook their heads and gave secretive smiles. Apparently the minstrel liked his sleep.
And more randomness...
The following:
Sons of Curufinwë Fëanáro: Nelyafinwë Maitimo, Canafinwë Macalaurë, Turcafinwë Tyelcormo, Morifinwë Carnistir, Curufinwë Atarincë, Pityafinwë Ambarussa, and Telufinwë Ambarto
Sons of Finwë Noldoran: Curufinwë Fëanáro, Nolofinwë Aracáno, and Arafinwë Ingalaurë
Brósinga: Dægred Winsterhand, Dægmund Swinsere, Cynegrim Fægerfeax, ColÞegn Nihthelm, Cyrefinn Fácensearo, Damrod Déormód, Díriel Tírgeld
Spell-checked:
Sons of Scruffiness Feandro: Scubafin Baltimore, Laughing Baccalaureate, Bifurcating Cormorant, Orifice Garnishment, Scruffiness Nectarine, Pitying Embarrassing, and Fluffiness Bombarded
Sons of Finland Deodorant: Scruffiness Feandro, Monopoly Arachnoid, and Arafat Inglorious
Teargassing: Pedigree Westminster, Raymund Reinsert, Begrimed Finger, Cologne Helmeting, Refinance Frankincenses, Ramrod Normally, Umbriel Gelding
My calculations of Arwen's heritage...
Finwë & Indis = Fingolfin & Finarfin (50% Noldorin, 50% Vanyarin)
Fingolfin & Anairë = Fingon, Turgon & Aredhel (75% Vanyarin, 25% Noldorin)
Turgon & Elenwë = Idril (87.5% Vanyarin, 12.5% Noldorin)
Idril & Tuor = Eärendil (50% Human, 43.75% Vanyarin, 6.25% Noldorin)
Thingol & Melian = Lúthien (50% Maian, 50% Telerin)
Lúthien & Beren = Dior (50% Human, 25% Maian, 25% Telerin)
Dior & Nimloth = Eluréd, Elurín & Elwing (62.5% Telerin, 25% Human, 12.5% Maian)
Finarfin & Eärwen = Finrod, Orodreth, Angrod, Angnor, Galadriel (50% Telerin, 25% Noldorin, 25% Vanyarin)
Galadriel & Celeborn = Celebrían (75% Telerin, 12.5% Noldorin, 12.5% Vanyarin)
Eärendil & Elwing = Elros, Elrond (37.5% Human, 31.25% Telerin, 21.875% Vanyarin, 6.25% Maian, 3.125% Noldorin)
Elrond & Celebrían = Elladan, Elrohir & Arwen (53.13% Telerin, 18.6% Human, 17.186% Vanyarin, 7.813% Noldorin, 3.13% Maian)
...
Finland & India = Flamingo & Quarterfinal (50% Adoring, 50% Lanyards)
Flamingo & Debonair = Klingon, Gorgon & Sheltered (75% Lanyards, 25% Adoring)
Gorgon & Elenore = Driller (87.5% Mandarin, 12.5%Coloring)
Driller & Tumor = Serendipity (50% Human, 43.75% Lanyards, 6.25% Adoring)
Loathing & Median = Thievish (50% Mayan, 50% Lettering)
Thievish & Beret = Dior (50% Human, 25% Main, 25% Leeriness)
Dior & Dishcloth = Lured, Alluring & Ewing (62.5% Ballerina, 25% Human, 12.5% Main)
Quarterfinal & Underwent = Fin rod, Heterodoxy, Ingrown, Ignored, Gabriella (50% Celerities, 25% Adoring, 25% Lanyards)
Gabriella & Cele born = Celebration (75% Ballerina's, 12.5% Adoring, 12.5% Lanyards)
Serendipity & Ewing = Elroy, Rondo (37.5% Human, 31.25% Leeriness, 21.875% Lanyards, 6.25% Main, 3.125% Adoring)
Rondo & Celebration = Elladine, Prohibit & Arden (53.13% Leeriness, 18.6% Human, 17.186% Varityping, 7.813% Deploring, 3.13% Maiman)
Lastly, my American Idiot spoof:
Don't wanna be an American idiot.
Don't want a nation under the new media.
And can you hear the sound of hysteria?
The subliminal mindfuck America.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alien nation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
Well that's enough to argue.
Well maybe I'm the faggot America.
I'm not a part of a redneck agenda.
Now everybody do the propaganda.
And sing along in the age of paranoia.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alien nation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
Well that's enough to argue.
Don't wanna be an American idiot.
One nation controlled by the media.
Information nation of hysteria.
It's going out to idiot America.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alien nation.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
...
Don't wanna be a kinslaying idiot.
Don't want a nation under the great Fëanor.
And can you hear the sound of his fervor?
The subliminal nitwit called Fëanor.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the Valinor coastline.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
The foresighted dream of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
Well that's enough to argue.
Well maybe I'm the underling of Fëanor.
I'm not a part of a killer agenda.
Now every Noldo copy his dementia.
And sing along in the age of paranoia.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the Valinor coastline.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
The foresighted dream of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
Well that's enough to argue.
Don't wanna be a kinslaying idiot.
One nation controlled by Prince Fëanor.
The Noldorin nation of dementia.
It's going out to idiotic Fëanor.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the Valinor coastline.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
The foresighted dream of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
Well that's enough to argue.
...
Don't wanna be a kins laying idiot.
Don't want a nation under the great Anorexia.
And can you hear the sound of his fervor?
The subliminal nitwit called Anorexia.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the Malinowski coastline.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
The foresighted dream of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
Well that's enough to argue.
Well maybe I'm the underling of Anorexia.
I'm not a part of a killer agenda.
Now every Foldout copy his dementia.
And sing along in the age of paranoia.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the Malinowski coastline.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
The foresighted dream of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
Well that's enough to argue.
Don't wanna be a kins laying idiot.
One nation controlled by Prince Anorexia.
The Adoring nation of dementia.
It's going out to idiotic Anorexia.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the Malinowski coastline.
Everything isn't meant to be okay.
The foresighted dream of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
Well that's enough to argue.
Now that I'm going to go catatonic laughing all night...