Joy, it tends to hold you, with the fear that it eventually departs.
Well here I am posting again, like I said I wouldn't. But I'm better this time guys I promise. I realized a few things and it's all going relatively okay now. I've seen the world in in a different way recently and I'm "better". I've accepted it for what I think it is but who knows what it really is. I'm probably way off but that's the way it goes. No one has the answers.
I bought a PSP earlier this week and I really like it. I had to pull in all my resources to get it and I owe a lot of money now but oh well. It's way better then Nintendo DS and I can say that because I have both but I'm going to sell my DS to pay for my PSP. It was pretty pricey but I think that it's worth it. I put a bunch of songs and videos on my PSP today and now it's my second most prized possession.
School is pretty good. My friends are great and we always have fun whenever we can.
My dad's mom died today though. She was a nice lady but I really didn't know her that well. She lived really far away and I can't remember very many things about her. So I'm not sure what to feel about it. I'm not very sad at all or I think maybe I should be sadder. She went to heaven so I don't see why my family cries about it. But I've become cold and heartless over time so maybe that is why I'm at a loss for emotion.
Anyways I think I'm getting better now. I'm the best I've been since june. I realized that I don't need or want to be happy anymore. All it does is makes you sadder and without happiness we would all just be free to live. There wouldn't be any sadness without happiness and I'm fine with that because happiness wasn't all it was cracked up to be anyways. I see that mostly everything that bothers me is futile so I'm better off just not dwelling on the small things. The last few months weren't fun but that is mostly my fault I make things too hard for myself. Simplicity is a luxury that people should enjoy whenever possible because life is rarely ever simple. Have a good month.
I bought a PSP earlier this week and I really like it. I had to pull in all my resources to get it and I owe a lot of money now but oh well. It's way better then Nintendo DS and I can say that because I have both but I'm going to sell my DS to pay for my PSP. It was pretty pricey but I think that it's worth it. I put a bunch of songs and videos on my PSP today and now it's my second most prized possession.
School is pretty good. My friends are great and we always have fun whenever we can.
My dad's mom died today though. She was a nice lady but I really didn't know her that well. She lived really far away and I can't remember very many things about her. So I'm not sure what to feel about it. I'm not very sad at all or I think maybe I should be sadder. She went to heaven so I don't see why my family cries about it. But I've become cold and heartless over time so maybe that is why I'm at a loss for emotion.
Anyways I think I'm getting better now. I'm the best I've been since june. I realized that I don't need or want to be happy anymore. All it does is makes you sadder and without happiness we would all just be free to live. There wouldn't be any sadness without happiness and I'm fine with that because happiness wasn't all it was cracked up to be anyways. I see that mostly everything that bothers me is futile so I'm better off just not dwelling on the small things. The last few months weren't fun but that is mostly my fault I make things too hard for myself. Simplicity is a luxury that people should enjoy whenever possible because life is rarely ever simple. Have a good month.