Why Being Evil Sucks: A Primer (Treachery 101)
Miranda’s a traitor now?
Yes!
Is she working with the Exorcists, then?
Hell no! ( |D ) One of the biggest things previously preventing her from turning traitor (besides her blind loyalty and love for the family) was the fear that she’d be made to be an Exorcist! So, no.
This is all pretty sudden!
NOT REALLY! It just might seem that way because paradigm shifts are by definition like that. Unlike others who came to their decisions with more noticeable graduality, Miranda is stubborn and it takes a lot to get her to change that much. The thread with Allie was just the final straw on the camel’s back!
In fact she’s been dealing with treacherous tendencies for a long time, ever since she befriended Daisya. His unfailing acceptance of her despite her being a Noah and killing him at their first meeting really helped him to become one of the most important people in her life. Talking with Devit (halfcocked) and realizing that yeah, he’s right, the Earl and (most of) her family really only like her because she’s useful, was another big thing. Fighting Alex and the resulting post-death conversation with Joyd (dig in the journal, I’m sure you’ll find it♥) reinforced this, although for a while she was so fixated on "I need the family to love me" that she bent herself to their whims and for a while, and allowed Joyd to start consuming her at a much faster pace than before. This lead to two big things: 1. The Earl’s seal on her memories being worn away, resulting in her remembering more and more of her past life through dreams, and 2. The beginning of loss of self that honestly terrified and depressed her. It wasn’t always obvious in her posts, but she was really starting to lose who she was, and it scared her! She had thought she’d be okay with it, but that combined with the remembering was enough for her to start thinking it wasn’t such a good idea after all.
CV!Earl (end_of_all_days) showing up in the DR was one of the other, big developments. It reinforced the things Devit had said, and made her realize that she didn’t want the Noah she’d come to see as family in the DR to be hurt or subjected to the enhancements she and her canonmate family had been! And of course during all of this she was being a horrible Noah, making friends with Exorcists in her white form and meeting more people like lastnightswish and cursed_crown who don’t care one way or the other if she’s a Noah or not! The final straw came in a dream (warnings for gore and my horrid attempt at writing Mikk) she experienced alongside Allison. It made her remember what she had initially wanted as a Noah, and that was ultimately her own way- or, acceptance and choice.
So she doesn’t love the family anymore?
No, no, no. She still loves them very much! Especially family not from her world! But she realizes that her canonmate family doesn't love her outside of her use, or, if they do (like Road) that she will never be able to be herself and have what she truly wants so long as she continues to act within their wishes. She even talked to Road about it to an extent, that’s how she knows :|b There is a HUGE amount of guilt about her abandoning Road and (probably) making her madness worse that will settle in later, once she’s actually acted on her decision. For now she’s just vaguely sad things came to this.
What next?
SHE HAS NO IDEA. Treachery is hard, man! She doesn’t want to act on her decision in the DR, because doing so would just put undue stress on her and basically do nothing but get her killed horribly. But she wants to be prepared to act for when she goes home, whenever that will be! So she will probably poke around and ask people she trusts for advice, and go from there. It’s a process!
What about her past life?
She recognizes it’s there, on some level, just like she did before. But she’s no longer furious and hateful of it, at least not to the same extent. She still wouldn’t ever want to be her old self ever again, but the terror and "AAAAAH WHAT IF THEY’RE RIGHT" has mostly been replaced with a “fuck that shit I’m me, that’s what matters :|” attitude. IT DOESN’T ALWAYS WORK but she’s trying her best.
And Joyd?
It’s still there! Being a bitch! But because she has a strong will LIKE WOAH when she wants to, and because she’s still technically compatible with her old Innocence, it’s having a really hard time taking over now that she’s saying “no stfu bitch.” So she’s alright for now. As for how long this will last, who knows! She literally has dark matter injected into her spine, running through her bones and nervous system. So we’ll just have to see.
Does that mean she’s "safe" now?
Not quite sort of. She's pushing Joyd down, yeah! But a good part of her was still consumed by the Noah, and it's not like she can (or necessarily wants to) reclaim all of that at once, or even entirely! She doesn't want to destroy the world, and the human part of her is repulsed by killing. But she still loves fighting, and Innocence still gives her terribad conflicted feelings of "well I want to destroy it but not. Hurrr :|" So it's kind of a toss up! Generally speaking, though, she will try to avoid finishing fights with death/avoid maiming people too horribly, and is no longer going on killing sprees to help with her self-confidence/control issues.
What's this mean for her CR?
Mostly, it will stay the same! Fellow traitor Noah can say they're a traitor outright and she won't flip a tit and try to kill them anymore. Non-traitor, non-canonmate Noah, she will try to keep the façade of loyalty up for as long as possible! She still likes/loves them after all. With canonmate Noah her relationship with them will of course change very drastically once she's out and known as a traitor, but for now it will stay the same.
Non-canonmate Exorcists she will continue to treat largely as she has, since I don't think there are any right now that she particularly hates beyond "lol Exorcist." Canonmate Exorcists... Well, it depends on the character precisely but she will probably be hella awkward around them for a while. She's still very bitter about some things! But she is trying to get better about it, for a variety of reasons. So she won't attack them in the DR unless provoked, and... Will probably generally try to remain civil in conversation. Just expect lots of nervousness and "aaaaaaah how do I act DDD:" with occasional, defensive snark.
Anything else?
Nnnnnnnnnnnnnot that I can think of. Leave questions, comments and the like if you have them!