Fucking grow up
Went to the hospital last night, u know it's kinda funny, before I left I tried to get a hold of the people that came to mind first. Just for some comfort I guess or...::sighs:: I dunno. I'm not even gonna finish this thought, essentially, got blood taken & a throat swab thingy lol Sucked....::shrugs:: but being there, as crazy/stupid as this might sound, got me thinking about my life, my future, my career, where I'm heading....I need to grow up, I need to....::sighs:: just grow the fuck up. I'm so childish...so immature in so many ways, I look at my life, and see there is nothing of it to offer, to myself or anyone else for that matter. I always said I hated when people complained about their lives instead of trying to fix it....Ironic, becoming what u hate. I've seemed to do that a lot lately....I need to work on that, better myself....So many people have counted on me and I've just, let them down, broken them. They've trusted me, had faith in me, and I just, shot it all to hell. They thought I was different, I showed them u can't have faith in anyone anymore. I'm the dream dasher.....instead of the dream maker....I want to change. For once, I want to change....not just want be need to change. I need to get a grip on life and on reality. I'm 16 yrs old, a junior in h.s. with no plans for my future, or hell for even the next few days. I need a job, a life....I need happiness. And I can only find that through me. I have to make my own happiness. I look at myself and am disgusted by what I've become. It's time I take of the mask, and unfold what's beneath. It's time I stop writing these pretty little pieces and actually put them into action. It's time I fucking grow up and face reality.