(no subject)
fght ff yr dmns.
i wake up in a cold sweat in an eighty-degree room. my breathing is shallow, and my mouth is drier than the cotton sterile pills that tried to put me to sleep. the covers are nowhere within reach, and i can't stop shaking. the pain between my eyes throbs with each empty heartbeat. somehow, i pull myself to the small sink in my room. filling it with cold water i plunge my face in and shake off the "sleep" in my eyes.
i fall to the rough carpet of my room and start sobbing. i don't even know who i am, anymore. it feels like i've been drugged and beaten, the only solace in this is that i'm awake again. i'm afraid of sleep. blake said it best; "if you could hear, the dreams i've had my dear, they would give you nightmares for a week." i don't even know what's even real, anymore.
i can't meet people's eyes anymore. i walk around with my head down and avert every gaze that's thrown my way. "broken" barely touches on what i am these days. i can't even drown myself in alcohol anymore. it doesn't work. one more thing i've given up on. i'm starting to give up on myself as well. everyone else has.
in a small black velvet box, there's a diamond on a gold band that's only a nine hundred dollar reminder of my failure.
i wake up in a cold sweat in an eighty-degree room. my breathing is shallow, and my mouth is drier than the cotton sterile pills that tried to put me to sleep. the covers are nowhere within reach, and i can't stop shaking. the pain between my eyes throbs with each empty heartbeat. somehow, i pull myself to the small sink in my room. filling it with cold water i plunge my face in and shake off the "sleep" in my eyes.
i fall to the rough carpet of my room and start sobbing. i don't even know who i am, anymore. it feels like i've been drugged and beaten, the only solace in this is that i'm awake again. i'm afraid of sleep. blake said it best; "if you could hear, the dreams i've had my dear, they would give you nightmares for a week." i don't even know what's even real, anymore.
i can't meet people's eyes anymore. i walk around with my head down and avert every gaze that's thrown my way. "broken" barely touches on what i am these days. i can't even drown myself in alcohol anymore. it doesn't work. one more thing i've given up on. i'm starting to give up on myself as well. everyone else has.
in a small black velvet box, there's a diamond on a gold band that's only a nine hundred dollar reminder of my failure.