it's been a while
Ok, so I haven't been here in quite some time. To be honest I'm still fucking tired and emo today so don't sue me quite yet. Yes I'm pulling what I've dubbed as an official "roomie" day. (I can say this for two roommates of mine, one which I'm with now and the other I'll be moving back with shortly...don't kill me guys you know it's true). So much stuff has happened in the past two weeks, I'm going insane.
Well, for work...I've now got keys, I'm now management....yeah ain't as great as I thought it would be. In fact it sucks, I got more respect being crew than I did with this. They all think I'm a joke. I think even Bonnie does a little bit. Half the crew thinks what I say means nothing when it is stuff they are supposed to be doing before they leave. The crew still runs the store and kisses Ryan's ass so he doesn't see it. And when it's brought to his attention....yeah nothing changes because if they kiss Ryan's ass, they're pretty much sucking Rob's (our district manager and our huge boss besides Fred, owner and man who signs our paychecks) cock to get what they want. Yeah, not going to do that. So now I'm starting to do things behind everyone's back and getting my own little revenge in during this lovely process. Might lose my job eventually, but I'll have a lasting impact before I do. That I know for sure.
That was the shorter version given I really don't want to rant about it for incredibly long. People have heard enough of me ranting to last at least 3 lifetimes if not more. On other news....um yeah...the con was fun. Broke off engagement, in open relationship, felt good....now starting to feel like crap. Now I'm starting to make things feel awkward to me. I found a reason not to go back to Peter, but I'm wondering if it's worth fighting for. Still deciding that one given I have the time for it right now. It will all come to me eventually.
Found a car, can't get car. And Hollins almost takes himself out of duty for a while (though it wasn't his fault this time...I'm shocked). That boy is going to drive me nuts. Thankfully, I'm still one of the few who care about him...a lot. Grrr. Everyone is happy and I'm glad for them all, embrace it. I'm not meant to be with anyone. Like dating yeah, but relationship...if you're willing to move then yeah it could work...otherwise not really. It's not that I got bored, like people think, I just want to move, get out of here...and I can't yet. Everyone is going to be leaving in 1-3 years, and I'll still be behind.
I'm tired of it. You'd think I'd be used to it by now....no I'm not. Everyone needs to separate at sometime, I know. It just stings. I don't hold out on promises anymore, because very few are kept. I'll just keep learning things that I'm not supposed to. I want to destroy this fucking chessboard. I need help. I think I need help. I don't know.
Well, for work...I've now got keys, I'm now management....yeah ain't as great as I thought it would be. In fact it sucks, I got more respect being crew than I did with this. They all think I'm a joke. I think even Bonnie does a little bit. Half the crew thinks what I say means nothing when it is stuff they are supposed to be doing before they leave. The crew still runs the store and kisses Ryan's ass so he doesn't see it. And when it's brought to his attention....yeah nothing changes because if they kiss Ryan's ass, they're pretty much sucking Rob's (our district manager and our huge boss besides Fred, owner and man who signs our paychecks) cock to get what they want. Yeah, not going to do that. So now I'm starting to do things behind everyone's back and getting my own little revenge in during this lovely process. Might lose my job eventually, but I'll have a lasting impact before I do. That I know for sure.
That was the shorter version given I really don't want to rant about it for incredibly long. People have heard enough of me ranting to last at least 3 lifetimes if not more. On other news....um yeah...the con was fun. Broke off engagement, in open relationship, felt good....now starting to feel like crap. Now I'm starting to make things feel awkward to me. I found a reason not to go back to Peter, but I'm wondering if it's worth fighting for. Still deciding that one given I have the time for it right now. It will all come to me eventually.
Found a car, can't get car. And Hollins almost takes himself out of duty for a while (though it wasn't his fault this time...I'm shocked). That boy is going to drive me nuts. Thankfully, I'm still one of the few who care about him...a lot. Grrr. Everyone is happy and I'm glad for them all, embrace it. I'm not meant to be with anyone. Like dating yeah, but relationship...if you're willing to move then yeah it could work...otherwise not really. It's not that I got bored, like people think, I just want to move, get out of here...and I can't yet. Everyone is going to be leaving in 1-3 years, and I'll still be behind.
I'm tired of it. You'd think I'd be used to it by now....no I'm not. Everyone needs to separate at sometime, I know. It just stings. I don't hold out on promises anymore, because very few are kept. I'll just keep learning things that I'm not supposed to. I want to destroy this fucking chessboard. I need help. I think I need help. I don't know.