The earth that is the space between, I'd banish it from under me
First, let me apologize to all the moms on my flist. This isn't really directed at you, just a general grumble on my part. I hope those of you who are mothers had a good day with your children/family.
Mother's Day is supposed to be a day of recognition, where children stop and tell their Mother (or Father, as Father's Day falls under this category as well) how wonderful of job they're doing/have done at raising them. We're supposed to pat them on the back and give them credit for the children they decided to have and take care of, as if this wasn't the job of a parent to begin with, and instead some supreme act of goodwill on their part that deserves sainthood. And for some parents, you buy them some flowers or a new powertool, take them out to dinner and tell them you love them and then hug and kiss and then everything is alright. The next day you look at the flowers sitting on the kitchen table, laugh with your mother over a stupid joke and continue living.
But what if your parents haven't done a good job with the raising children thing? Why do those parents deserve hearts and flowers and this pretending that everything's normal for one day?
I have basically been told, for the last 20 years of my life, that I'm not worth anything. Thank you Mom and Dad. I've spent the last 8 years picking up the pieces of a drunk parent who hasn't said a kind word to me in years.
Why am I going to buy flowers for that?
If my mother gets a day where we acknowledge all the good she's done, where's the day that I get that? Where's the day that I get an apology for the missed High School chorus concerts, the art shows she wouldn't leave the car for, the play she skipped in 5th grade. Where is the gratitude I deserve for going to the liquor store when she's too drunk to go herself and yet still will, or the appreciation of picking up her up after drunk falls in hallways.
A mother is supposed to put her children first. They should never have to dread coming home or seeing them. They shouldn't be afraid of turning into the very thing that they despise. I don't ever want to be as hateful or as spiteful has her.
And yet, even after all that, still bought her flowers.
...In other news, I bought a plane ticket to Boston! I get to see my sister over Memorial Day weekend! Yay! I miss my (not so) little sis.
Mother's Day is supposed to be a day of recognition, where children stop and tell their Mother (or Father, as Father's Day falls under this category as well) how wonderful of job they're doing/have done at raising them. We're supposed to pat them on the back and give them credit for the children they decided to have and take care of, as if this wasn't the job of a parent to begin with, and instead some supreme act of goodwill on their part that deserves sainthood. And for some parents, you buy them some flowers or a new powertool, take them out to dinner and tell them you love them and then hug and kiss and then everything is alright. The next day you look at the flowers sitting on the kitchen table, laugh with your mother over a stupid joke and continue living.
But what if your parents haven't done a good job with the raising children thing? Why do those parents deserve hearts and flowers and this pretending that everything's normal for one day?
I have basically been told, for the last 20 years of my life, that I'm not worth anything. Thank you Mom and Dad. I've spent the last 8 years picking up the pieces of a drunk parent who hasn't said a kind word to me in years.
Why am I going to buy flowers for that?
If my mother gets a day where we acknowledge all the good she's done, where's the day that I get that? Where's the day that I get an apology for the missed High School chorus concerts, the art shows she wouldn't leave the car for, the play she skipped in 5th grade. Where is the gratitude I deserve for going to the liquor store when she's too drunk to go herself and yet still will, or the appreciation of picking up her up after drunk falls in hallways.
A mother is supposed to put her children first. They should never have to dread coming home or seeing them. They shouldn't be afraid of turning into the very thing that they despise. I don't ever want to be as hateful or as spiteful has her.
And yet, even after all that, still bought her flowers.
...In other news, I bought a plane ticket to Boston! I get to see my sister over Memorial Day weekend! Yay! I miss my (not so) little sis.