who needs christmas when they have kinki
Okay, so between what I remember, tweets I read, and this amazing super complete con report where you can also see some drawings), here's the MC con report for 1/1 (will add ending mc talks when I feel like typing again) -
Credits to all the Kinki tweeters and the person who wrote the super complete con report. I hope they don't mind that I referred to their transcriptions while compiling this :X
Opening:
K: Happy new year!! Hello everyone, I'm the 33-years-and-few-hours-old Domoto Koichi.
Audience: Ehhh?
K: What? It's true.
T: No, it's not. Don't you mean 34 and a few hours old.
Koichi realises his mistake in his usual tennen style. And tries to save it... Resulting in -
K: 33 years and 365 x 24@7&$'n (he trips over his words here), x 24 + ...
T: Forget it, you already stumbled over your words.
K: 365 x 2...
T: AND, once more, I'm the still-33-year-old Domoto Tsuyoshi. Please take care of me this year too!
They wish everyone a happy new year, and here’s when they talked a bit about their anniversary, and how it continues on into the next year in July. I hope this means that they’ll have more activities :P
Shaky float/cart thingy:
K: Oh, you know that shaky thing.
T: Yeah?
K: I can’t stand on it.
T: Yeah, you ended up looking a bit like a prisoner.
K: Cause I couldn’t stand!
T: I felt pretty okay on my side.
K: Whaaaat. It was super shaky here. (He re-enacted the shakiness by moving around. Lol)
Tsuyoshi mentions something about reporters, and then Koichi’s like, oh yeah, the picture in the newspapers today had a super embarrassing pose with me squatting >< And Tsuyoshi’s like, yeah, sorry journalists, but can you use better pictures of us? He specifically mentions Wide Show and how they used only MC talk footage - and he’s like, can you please show us dancing and singing, or at least, dancing and talking :P
Hatsumode talks:
K: We went for Hatsumode earlier today...
T: How was it?
K: Eh?
T: I didn’t go.
K: Why not?
T: I had other work.
K: Eh? Work? What work?
Audience: Ehhhhhhh?!
K: What? Someone tell me.
T: I had it too last year. A comedy event.
Audience continues ehh-ing
K: Why are you ehh-ing?!
T: It's an ehh to tell you that they want you to know your partner's schedule properly. Please keep tuned in to the world news. Who’s Japan’s prime minister?
K: Abe-san
The audience is impressed that Koichi knows.. Tsuyoshi asks about Hatsumode and Koichi says it was smooth. Tsuyoshi also talks about how they used to go with Mori-San, and how she used to be the only female surrounded by Johnny's. Koichi just replied normally. It was pretty random, the way Tsuyo brought her up. I'm not sure if he was looking for Koichi to say something or what.
T: Did you bring your money this time?
K: Yeah, I did.
Audience: Wooooahhhh.
T: It's not something to wow about! He's SUPPOSED to bring it. He’s not supposed to be borrowing money from seniors after he’s 30, seriously. So no accidents, nothing?
K: It was super smooth. Nothing really happened.
T: Really? Sometimes some interesting things happen. I usually go after this concert. Don't we throw money into the money boxes then close our eyes to pray? Once, after I threw my money in and started praying for the new year, I heard a coin roll up to me. I opened my eyes and there was a 500 yen coin next to me. I really didn't know if it was mine... And throwing it back is embarrassing so I passed it to the person in charge there and pointed at the person next to me, as if to say it's his!!!
Countdown:
On Tegoshi’s fanservice -
(Background info: Before Ai Sareru Yori mo, Tsuyo said “Aishiyoze!” which he apparently stole from Tegoshi or something.)
K: I was surprised when he said “Aishiyoze! Nyankochan tachi” (Let’s love, kitty-chans!). I’ve never said anything like that.
Audience: SAY IT!!!
K: Where are the cats?
T: (In English) No, no, no. (Japanese) Just pretend they’re here. (English) No. Be quiet.
K: WHERE? Are there people who are cats here?
Audience: Here~!
K: You guys are idiots (baka).
T: You can’t say that. This means we have horses and deer (the kanji for baka is literally horse and deer) in the audience... who are also cats
K: o.O
About the stage -
T: YOU-tachi know I’m scared of heights right? I finally got used to that thing for the concerts and then I was told to get up on it again for countdown.
K: And we were on it the whole time too.
They talked a bit about Matchy and how he said that the stage was scary too even though he didn’t used to be scared of heights. I think Koichi wanted to make a jibe about his age (He said: As people get older…) but he chickened out and laughed it away. Matchy apparently took a home video despite his “fear” and Tsuyoshi offered to help at some point and he had to look down ><
T: It was scary. You’re used to high places right?
K: Doesn’t mean I particularly like it.
T: Not particularly liking it and hating it are different things! I ~hate~ it. (Tsuyo’s facial expression was adorable here. He squished his face together and said… Dai Kirai~)
Koichi tries to say something nonchalant at this point (I think he said, well, it’s just falling), presumably to help Tsuyo get over his fear of heights but it just ended up in the audience ehh-ing at him.
T: Nonono. For example, you don’t like eggplant right?
K: I hate it. I don’t understand why it exists.
T: It’s like you’re being made to eat eggplant throughout the whole concert. (I LOVE THIS ANALOGY).
K: I think eggplant’s worse. Definitely worse than high places.
T: Imagine while you’re eating eggplant - (Tsuyo sings and pretends to eat eggplant in the cutest manner possible) “Love is for good, konnani, yasashiku nareta no wa nasu (eggplant) ga ita kanaa”.
K: But then, bit by bit. Even though you said you really hated it at one point, you’re getting used to it, aren’t you? You’ve come a long way, huh? (Koichi said this in his awkward, trying-to-be-comforting way, which was kinda sweet <3)
T: But well, they pretty much just decided and showed me the set. And all I could say was, “ooh, that looks high”.
K: But the blimps last year were higher, weren’t they? They were scary, weren’t they?
T: I think this one’s scarier. After all, with the blimp, all you needed to do was to stand like this. (Tsuyoshi basically stood super straight and stuck his butt out like a dancer XD)
K: This one’s worse for me. Completely opposite. There was one day I didn’t even fly, right?
T: Right.
K: There was no choice, I had to walk. (due to issues with the blimp, I think)
T: I looked around for you and I was thinking, I’m the one with the fear of heights and you’re one who gets to walk. What’s with the gods?
They talk about how the people in the arena can only see the bottom of their shoes and they proceed to look at the bottoms of their shoes and be amazed at how it’s the first time they’ve seen it.
About crazy imaginative fans (a sidetrack from countdown, in usual KK style) -
(I’m not sure how the next part happened. It just did and I didn’t entirely understand the joke, and this is even after I looked at the twitter/blog transcripts.)
T: “Souzou ninshin dekita? Ooops, I mean, souzou dekita?” (Which I’ll translate to: Did you become pregnant with an image? Oops, I mean, could you imagine it?”)
K: Souzou ninshin?!
T: Apparently a fan became pregnant by imagining it in the past.
K: Ahh, those old days.
They talked about rumours in the past where apparently they each had a girlfriend in every area. Tsuyoshi talked about the ’96 tour where he started the tour by singing a song by Tokunaga-san but halfway, Johnny told him, “YOU, change the song to I Love You.” And so he sung I Love You at Nagoya and rumours flew, saying that he had a wife and kid in Nagoya. LOL. Tsuyo totally spoilt the song for me. I heard it on my iPod yesterday and I couldn’t stop giggling to myself.
KK fans vs the fans of their juniors -
K: The kouhais’ fans sounded awesome yesterday.
Audience attempts to scream… halfheartedly. (Although, by the way, the 3rd day’s starting cheer and encore cheer has to be the loudest I’ve ever heard at a KK con)
K: It’s impossible. Don’t force yourself.
T: Don’t say that. They’re thinking “Koichi-kun~” that’s why they scream.
K: I don’t think they’re thinking that.
Fans scream again.
K: Thanks for the screams that were about a third (of the kouhais’ fans).
Fried chicken and Tsuyoshi's hairstyle -
Tsuyoshi asks who came to JCD the day before, and they talk a bit more about Tegoshi and his fanservice. Koichi says Tsuyo does it too but Tsuyo calls it a part time job and that Tegoshi’s the pro. Tsuyo launches into this explanation about how he saw this Okada fangirl and he kinda nodded to her, like he meant “Nice to meet you” and she basically stared at him the whole time.
K: Were you doing something? Was it the karaage (fried chicken)… I mean, kariage (Tsuyo's hairstyle where the sides are shaved)?
Tsuyo pauses and looks upwards, as though asking for patience.
K: Kariage! Kariage!
T: What are you doing? You’re 34 and you can mix up kariage and karaage. HEEEEH~! (Like he was trying to chase a spirit away -- Think SDK)
Tsuyoshi then says that there was no way a fried chicken was stuck to him, and it would be like all his sweat was actually oil. Koichi tries to save himself by saying that there was a piece of fried chicken and THAT’S WHY the fangirl was staring.) They then somehow get into which combini the fried chicken is from and Tsuyo says he prefers Family Mart’s to Lawson’s… -_-“ Before he realizes he’s taking it too far and he should get on with the birthday celebrations.
Birthday party:
After the whole chicken thing -
T: Let’s celebrate your birthday!
K: Right, we were ten minutes late for the opening, weren’t we? Wasn’t that because you were planning stuff?
T: Oh about that, I’m really very sorry.
K: Was it for the birthday party?
T: We were having a little meeting and talking, and suddenly a staff member came as said, “Tsuyoshi-san, you have 40 minutes”. And I was like, what the…?!
K: (laughs super adorably) “What the…?!”
T: I rushed to prep, and was like, eh? Wait there’s something wrong, oh crap this is the wrong set of costume, and I also wanted to do my hair (which by the way, didn’t look quite as nice as the first/second day… I guess we know why XD) etc. I also wanted to go to the toilet and it was too troublesome to zip up first so I ran there with my zip undone like that. (Tsuyoshi jogs a little with his legs horizontally apart) It was crazy.
K: Ah, I was wondering if you were planning a surprise. While you were doing all that, I cut my hair (FORGOT TO MENTION. Koichi cut and set his hair so it was all pretty).
They ramble a bit while Tsuyoshi runs to back of the stage to prepare… and comes out with a super shiny, colourful hat, and a pair of white happy birthday glasses. Koichi promptly cracks up.
T: I’m Happy Tsuyoshi.
K: The emcee stands out more than the birthday boy?! BUT, it’s not like I actually want to wear that hat. I actually set my hair today so.
T: Right? I’m the ever-so-reliable Happy Tsuyoshi. So let’s start. The people from Wide Show, please don’t use too much of this footage.
Koichi’s just laughing his head off at this point <3 Tsuyoshi asks from help from the kouhais and they appear, holding gifts and balloons… but there’s no cake.
T: So… Birthdays are once in a lifetime… not.
K: If it’s once in a lifetime, that’s super lonely.
T: It’s once a year, and it’s a big event! So from the bottom of my heart, I want to make it a good celebration…
(At this point, a camera comes up being Koichi and it’s kinda pointed at his butt.)
K: Wait WHY IS THERE A CAMERA POINTING AT MY BUTT?!
T and the Kouhais (KH): We’re extremely apologetic about this. (Hontouni moushiwake gozaimasen) (AND THEY BOW DEEPLY)
Koichi cracks up because they’re being ridiculously polite about the whole thing. Tsuyoshi continues the rest of the MC in ridiculously polite speech which cracks Koichi up all the time. The bowing gag also happens several times through the MC from now. Tsuyoshi moves quickly into the present section, because for once, the presents weren’t actually the main focus.
T: Koichi-san, you said you wanted a TV remote control…
Koichi launches into the explanation about how he said his TV remote control was spoilt on SDK and he has to play jackpot with it every time… (On that episode, Tsuyoshi said he’ll give him a remote control for his birthday).T, KH bow and apologize again, presumably for having put Koichi through the trouble of explaining. He pulls out something… but it’s only a drawing and Koichi already has that, “Not again~?” face. He pulls out a drawing of a remote control and it says, “stock coming in soon”.
T: Koichi-san’s remote control is hard to get (maybe because he has a TV that comes down from the ceiling ^^;;) so we had to specially pre-order from various global sellers… so…
K: Eh? Do I actually get the real thing?
T: Yes.
K: It’s just a drawing right?
T: I really wanted to give you the real thing today but the design staff were also planning something so it took up a lot of time… so…
T.KH: We’re extremely apologetic about this.
Then Tsuyoshi gives him an idol costume that looks suspiciously like Momoiro Clover Z’s costume but it merely says “Idol Ranger 5!”
K: What’s this? And it’s just basically MomoKuro’s costume isn’t it?
T: According to rumours from the wind, Koichi-san wants to become MomoKuro…
K: Like real! Besides, there’s supposed to be 5 and there’s only one of me! (I think that’s what he said)
Tsuyoshi’s and the kouhai’s eyes meet and they praise Koichi for his superb talk skills in chorus. Koichi cracks up all over again and it’s just really too much cute.
T: Next.
K: There’s more.
T: This is merely a suggestion by me. I’ve been thinking about this for 365 days from last year onwards (AWWW). Koichi-san, you’re called a prince by the rest of the world… right?
K: Unmistakably so.
T: That’s right, and now you’re a prince that has grown up into a man and while “prince” is also perfectly okay, it doesn’t seem to fit perfectly and I was thinking about it… and… Nazo wa subete toketa (I solved the mystery!)
K: Hajime-chan!!!
Tsuyoshi pulls out the hat from last year and Koichi says that he loved that hat. I think Tsuyoshi didn’t expect for Koichi to actually say that he liked it so he rambled on about how he’s grateful Koichi likes it but it’s not too suitable for him now so he’s giving it to the gods. Koichi calls him random. Tsuyoshi says he wants to make Koichi more kingly so… he pulls out gold Christmas tinsel.
T: This is 18K gold
K: 18K?! I’d prefer 24K.
T: Ah! Even though I said 18K on purpose, you managed to spot that it’s actually 24K! For doubting you and testing your abilities out, I’m…
T, KH: Extremely apologetic.
Koichi’s just cracking up over and over again. And Tsuyoshi tells him it’s from some exotic country puts it around his neck for him and praises him. Then he pulls out a crown, and says it’s the real thing made from snake-skin and all that, and they have a little coronation while Koichi complains about his hair getting messed up. THE BOY AND HIS PRIORITIES. The kouhais are fake crying at this point, about how their prince has turned into a king. LOL.
And finally, Tsuyoshi pulls out something else… And it’s his glasses in red colour! And Koichi’s basically giggling non-stop already, and Tsuyoshi puts it on for him. It’s ADORABLE. SEEING KINKI IN MATCHY DORKY COSTUMES. Koichi pulls his fringe over the glasses.
T: It suits you very well, and the way you set your fringe. It’s really high fashion.
They bring him to the center of the stage, and Tsuyo sticks the mic to his ear and it turns out the glasses play a happy birthday song and the whole Dome does the whisper Happy Birthday song again.<3
Tsuyoshi then asks him to say something since it’s his birthday, and Koichi’s like “Does it have to be interesting?” and Tsuyoshi says no but while he’s trying to say his word, the kouhais interrupt repeatedly with these jack-in-the-box type toys that make noises (like boing~!) as they pop out. Tsuyo scolds them every time and they do that bowing gag.
As they are finally wrapping up that little section, Koichi’s about to say something else… when a male fan on the second stand goes: HAPPY BIRTHDAY KOICHI! And Tsuyo makes them all become spies to protect his favourite king <333 Tsuyo asks them to spot the “attacker” and they point the guy out to Tsuyo and he shoots the guy down for his King.
FINALLY, Koichi gets to say what he wants to say for his birthday, and he thanks his mother, his father and his family. And it’s very sweet because he says he never does it but he really wants to thank them.
T: Then, moving on to the cake… (The projection of a cake appears on the backscreen.) Now… Let’s have the cake appear!
Nothing happens since the picture was ALREADY there.
K: Isn’t the cake already on the screen?
Tsuyoshi realizes his mistake and Koichi’s in stitches at this point, along with the rest of the audience who are cracking up at Tsuyoshi’s mistake cause Tsu screwing up in such a tennen way RARELY happens.
T: >< It’s too close, so I couldn’t see clearly, sorry.
Tsuyoshi goes on about how nice the cake is and even though it’s nice, it can’t be eaten… So he prepared one that can be eaten too! And Tsuyoshi points to the stage in the middle… and there’s a CAKE THERE! Koichi’s all like o.O !!!
Tsuyoshi asks Koichi to blow out the candles but obviously Koichi protests, and so they make Koichi walk down the long runway (like a coronation walk). Lol. Meanwhile Tsuyo and the kouhais are crying as they wave goodbye to their King. Tsuyo’s facial expressions at this point were ABSOLUTELY priceless.
They sing the song, Koichi blows out the candles…
T, KH: We’re extremely apologetic about your birthday.
K: I don’t understand what you mean.
(Koichi’s alone in the center stage.)
K: What do I do now?
T: You’ve turned 34, please make your own decisions.
They have a short strawberry time, and while Koichi’s eating, Tsuyoshi takes off his hat and glasses and gestures to the kouhais: Let’s play golf next time, call me! Bye!
Koichi merely stares. After Tsuyo sends them off…
T: And the next song is… Eh? Koichi? (He pretends to discover Koichi at the center stage) Why are you wearing a weird hat?
K: … Can I come back?
T: Please make your own decisions.
K: I want to stay here near the audience but if we’re singing… I have to go back.
T: SINGING?! Please take off that ridiculous costume first. XD
Koichi takes off his hat, tinsel and glasses all while Tsuyoshi stands still like a statue on stage, unmoving with a carefully neutral look that’s hilarious.
K: Can I come back?
T: Please make your own decisions.
Koichi returns to the stage, while saying he enjoyed his birthday <3 As he reaches the stage, he’s like OHHHHH SO THAT’S WHY I HAD TO CUT MY HAIR. It turns out that he was going to the kouhais' dressing room to chat with them but the staff and Tsuyoshi needed to talk to the kouhais about the party so the staff mailed him about cutting his hair… so that he’ll be alone while the rest planned <333
They then talked about the jack-in-the-box toys, one of which had a really weird happy birthday arrangement that Tsuyoshi loved so much he listened to it over and over again in his living room.
They then tried to start again but Ken-san wasn’t back yet and Koichi realized that the band members weren’t around… except for the strings members. Turns out Tsuyoshi asked them to help play the birthday song for Koichi <3
Koichi then talks about the present he got from Yara. Apparently they went to New York together and at the airport, they saw someone using a UFO toy and Koichi was super into it. And Yara somehow got his hands on it, and gave it to him as a present and Koichi was super happy about it <33 Thinking about it, Koichi remembered that Yara did disappear for a bit after the conversation about the UFO but he didn’t expect to get it for a present.
The band members hadn’t appeared yet and Tsuyoshi apologizes saying that the band members probably thought since it’s the two of them, it would take forever. So Tsuyoshi somehow says he got wine from some sempai in the music industry I think, and it’s been in his fridge. And Koichi’s like, I have a cellar. And Tsuyoshi’s like YOU HAVE A CELLAR. YOU’RE REALLY A KING HUH. I just put it in my fridge. LOL. I think the guy who gave him the wine told him to share it with someone special but there hasn’t been anyone since. (HMM)
The band members appear, and Tsuyoshi apologises for taking so long, and Koichi apologises too, but he retracts it later because it made him sound like he was sorry that Tsuyoshi celebrated his birthday. SUPER LOVE <3
Ending MC:
To come...
Credits to all the Kinki tweeters and the person who wrote the super complete con report. I hope they don't mind that I referred to their transcriptions while compiling this :X
Opening:
K: Happy new year!! Hello everyone, I'm the 33-years-and-few-hours-old Domoto Koichi.
Audience: Ehhh?
K: What? It's true.
T: No, it's not. Don't you mean 34 and a few hours old.
Koichi realises his mistake in his usual tennen style. And tries to save it... Resulting in -
K: 33 years and 365 x 24@7&$'n (he trips over his words here), x 24 + ...
T: Forget it, you already stumbled over your words.
K: 365 x 2...
T: AND, once more, I'm the still-33-year-old Domoto Tsuyoshi. Please take care of me this year too!
They wish everyone a happy new year, and here’s when they talked a bit about their anniversary, and how it continues on into the next year in July. I hope this means that they’ll have more activities :P
Shaky float/cart thingy:
K: Oh, you know that shaky thing.
T: Yeah?
K: I can’t stand on it.
T: Yeah, you ended up looking a bit like a prisoner.
K: Cause I couldn’t stand!
T: I felt pretty okay on my side.
K: Whaaaat. It was super shaky here. (He re-enacted the shakiness by moving around. Lol)
Tsuyoshi mentions something about reporters, and then Koichi’s like, oh yeah, the picture in the newspapers today had a super embarrassing pose with me squatting >< And Tsuyoshi’s like, yeah, sorry journalists, but can you use better pictures of us? He specifically mentions Wide Show and how they used only MC talk footage - and he’s like, can you please show us dancing and singing, or at least, dancing and talking :P
Hatsumode talks:
K: We went for Hatsumode earlier today...
T: How was it?
K: Eh?
T: I didn’t go.
K: Why not?
T: I had other work.
K: Eh? Work? What work?
Audience: Ehhhhhhh?!
K: What? Someone tell me.
T: I had it too last year. A comedy event.
Audience continues ehh-ing
K: Why are you ehh-ing?!
T: It's an ehh to tell you that they want you to know your partner's schedule properly. Please keep tuned in to the world news. Who’s Japan’s prime minister?
K: Abe-san
The audience is impressed that Koichi knows.. Tsuyoshi asks about Hatsumode and Koichi says it was smooth. Tsuyoshi also talks about how they used to go with Mori-San, and how she used to be the only female surrounded by Johnny's. Koichi just replied normally. It was pretty random, the way Tsuyo brought her up. I'm not sure if he was looking for Koichi to say something or what.
T: Did you bring your money this time?
K: Yeah, I did.
Audience: Wooooahhhh.
T: It's not something to wow about! He's SUPPOSED to bring it. He’s not supposed to be borrowing money from seniors after he’s 30, seriously. So no accidents, nothing?
K: It was super smooth. Nothing really happened.
T: Really? Sometimes some interesting things happen. I usually go after this concert. Don't we throw money into the money boxes then close our eyes to pray? Once, after I threw my money in and started praying for the new year, I heard a coin roll up to me. I opened my eyes and there was a 500 yen coin next to me. I really didn't know if it was mine... And throwing it back is embarrassing so I passed it to the person in charge there and pointed at the person next to me, as if to say it's his!!!
Countdown:
On Tegoshi’s fanservice -
(Background info: Before Ai Sareru Yori mo, Tsuyo said “Aishiyoze!” which he apparently stole from Tegoshi or something.)
K: I was surprised when he said “Aishiyoze! Nyankochan tachi” (Let’s love, kitty-chans!). I’ve never said anything like that.
Audience: SAY IT!!!
K: Where are the cats?
T: (In English) No, no, no. (Japanese) Just pretend they’re here. (English) No. Be quiet.
K: WHERE? Are there people who are cats here?
Audience: Here~!
K: You guys are idiots (baka).
T: You can’t say that. This means we have horses and deer (the kanji for baka is literally horse and deer) in the audience... who are also cats
K: o.O
About the stage -
T: YOU-tachi know I’m scared of heights right? I finally got used to that thing for the concerts and then I was told to get up on it again for countdown.
K: And we were on it the whole time too.
They talked a bit about Matchy and how he said that the stage was scary too even though he didn’t used to be scared of heights. I think Koichi wanted to make a jibe about his age (He said: As people get older…) but he chickened out and laughed it away. Matchy apparently took a home video despite his “fear” and Tsuyoshi offered to help at some point and he had to look down ><
T: It was scary. You’re used to high places right?
K: Doesn’t mean I particularly like it.
T: Not particularly liking it and hating it are different things! I ~hate~ it. (Tsuyo’s facial expression was adorable here. He squished his face together and said… Dai Kirai~)
Koichi tries to say something nonchalant at this point (I think he said, well, it’s just falling), presumably to help Tsuyo get over his fear of heights but it just ended up in the audience ehh-ing at him.
T: Nonono. For example, you don’t like eggplant right?
K: I hate it. I don’t understand why it exists.
T: It’s like you’re being made to eat eggplant throughout the whole concert. (I LOVE THIS ANALOGY).
K: I think eggplant’s worse. Definitely worse than high places.
T: Imagine while you’re eating eggplant - (Tsuyo sings and pretends to eat eggplant in the cutest manner possible) “Love is for good, konnani, yasashiku nareta no wa nasu (eggplant) ga ita kanaa”.
K: But then, bit by bit. Even though you said you really hated it at one point, you’re getting used to it, aren’t you? You’ve come a long way, huh? (Koichi said this in his awkward, trying-to-be-comforting way, which was kinda sweet <3)
T: But well, they pretty much just decided and showed me the set. And all I could say was, “ooh, that looks high”.
K: But the blimps last year were higher, weren’t they? They were scary, weren’t they?
T: I think this one’s scarier. After all, with the blimp, all you needed to do was to stand like this. (Tsuyoshi basically stood super straight and stuck his butt out like a dancer XD)
K: This one’s worse for me. Completely opposite. There was one day I didn’t even fly, right?
T: Right.
K: There was no choice, I had to walk. (due to issues with the blimp, I think)
T: I looked around for you and I was thinking, I’m the one with the fear of heights and you’re one who gets to walk. What’s with the gods?
They talk about how the people in the arena can only see the bottom of their shoes and they proceed to look at the bottoms of their shoes and be amazed at how it’s the first time they’ve seen it.
About crazy imaginative fans (a sidetrack from countdown, in usual KK style) -
(I’m not sure how the next part happened. It just did and I didn’t entirely understand the joke, and this is even after I looked at the twitter/blog transcripts.)
T: “Souzou ninshin dekita? Ooops, I mean, souzou dekita?” (Which I’ll translate to: Did you become pregnant with an image? Oops, I mean, could you imagine it?”)
K: Souzou ninshin?!
T: Apparently a fan became pregnant by imagining it in the past.
K: Ahh, those old days.
They talked about rumours in the past where apparently they each had a girlfriend in every area. Tsuyoshi talked about the ’96 tour where he started the tour by singing a song by Tokunaga-san but halfway, Johnny told him, “YOU, change the song to I Love You.” And so he sung I Love You at Nagoya and rumours flew, saying that he had a wife and kid in Nagoya. LOL. Tsuyo totally spoilt the song for me. I heard it on my iPod yesterday and I couldn’t stop giggling to myself.
KK fans vs the fans of their juniors -
K: The kouhais’ fans sounded awesome yesterday.
Audience attempts to scream… halfheartedly. (Although, by the way, the 3rd day’s starting cheer and encore cheer has to be the loudest I’ve ever heard at a KK con)
K: It’s impossible. Don’t force yourself.
T: Don’t say that. They’re thinking “Koichi-kun~” that’s why they scream.
K: I don’t think they’re thinking that.
Fans scream again.
K: Thanks for the screams that were about a third (of the kouhais’ fans).
Fried chicken and Tsuyoshi's hairstyle -
Tsuyoshi asks who came to JCD the day before, and they talk a bit more about Tegoshi and his fanservice. Koichi says Tsuyo does it too but Tsuyo calls it a part time job and that Tegoshi’s the pro. Tsuyo launches into this explanation about how he saw this Okada fangirl and he kinda nodded to her, like he meant “Nice to meet you” and she basically stared at him the whole time.
K: Were you doing something? Was it the karaage (fried chicken)… I mean, kariage (Tsuyo's hairstyle where the sides are shaved)?
Tsuyo pauses and looks upwards, as though asking for patience.
K: Kariage! Kariage!
T: What are you doing? You’re 34 and you can mix up kariage and karaage. HEEEEH~! (Like he was trying to chase a spirit away -- Think SDK)
Tsuyoshi then says that there was no way a fried chicken was stuck to him, and it would be like all his sweat was actually oil. Koichi tries to save himself by saying that there was a piece of fried chicken and THAT’S WHY the fangirl was staring.) They then somehow get into which combini the fried chicken is from and Tsuyo says he prefers Family Mart’s to Lawson’s… -_-“ Before he realizes he’s taking it too far and he should get on with the birthday celebrations.
Birthday party:
After the whole chicken thing -
T: Let’s celebrate your birthday!
K: Right, we were ten minutes late for the opening, weren’t we? Wasn’t that because you were planning stuff?
T: Oh about that, I’m really very sorry.
K: Was it for the birthday party?
T: We were having a little meeting and talking, and suddenly a staff member came as said, “Tsuyoshi-san, you have 40 minutes”. And I was like, what the…?!
K: (laughs super adorably) “What the…?!”
T: I rushed to prep, and was like, eh? Wait there’s something wrong, oh crap this is the wrong set of costume, and I also wanted to do my hair (which by the way, didn’t look quite as nice as the first/second day… I guess we know why XD) etc. I also wanted to go to the toilet and it was too troublesome to zip up first so I ran there with my zip undone like that. (Tsuyoshi jogs a little with his legs horizontally apart) It was crazy.
K: Ah, I was wondering if you were planning a surprise. While you were doing all that, I cut my hair (FORGOT TO MENTION. Koichi cut and set his hair so it was all pretty).
They ramble a bit while Tsuyoshi runs to back of the stage to prepare… and comes out with a super shiny, colourful hat, and a pair of white happy birthday glasses. Koichi promptly cracks up.
T: I’m Happy Tsuyoshi.
K: The emcee stands out more than the birthday boy?! BUT, it’s not like I actually want to wear that hat. I actually set my hair today so.
T: Right? I’m the ever-so-reliable Happy Tsuyoshi. So let’s start. The people from Wide Show, please don’t use too much of this footage.
Koichi’s just laughing his head off at this point <3 Tsuyoshi asks from help from the kouhais and they appear, holding gifts and balloons… but there’s no cake.
T: So… Birthdays are once in a lifetime… not.
K: If it’s once in a lifetime, that’s super lonely.
T: It’s once a year, and it’s a big event! So from the bottom of my heart, I want to make it a good celebration…
(At this point, a camera comes up being Koichi and it’s kinda pointed at his butt.)
K: Wait WHY IS THERE A CAMERA POINTING AT MY BUTT?!
T and the Kouhais (KH): We’re extremely apologetic about this. (Hontouni moushiwake gozaimasen) (AND THEY BOW DEEPLY)
Koichi cracks up because they’re being ridiculously polite about the whole thing. Tsuyoshi continues the rest of the MC in ridiculously polite speech which cracks Koichi up all the time. The bowing gag also happens several times through the MC from now. Tsuyoshi moves quickly into the present section, because for once, the presents weren’t actually the main focus.
T: Koichi-san, you said you wanted a TV remote control…
Koichi launches into the explanation about how he said his TV remote control was spoilt on SDK and he has to play jackpot with it every time… (On that episode, Tsuyoshi said he’ll give him a remote control for his birthday).T, KH bow and apologize again, presumably for having put Koichi through the trouble of explaining. He pulls out something… but it’s only a drawing and Koichi already has that, “Not again~?” face. He pulls out a drawing of a remote control and it says, “stock coming in soon”.
T: Koichi-san’s remote control is hard to get (maybe because he has a TV that comes down from the ceiling ^^;;) so we had to specially pre-order from various global sellers… so…
K: Eh? Do I actually get the real thing?
T: Yes.
K: It’s just a drawing right?
T: I really wanted to give you the real thing today but the design staff were also planning something so it took up a lot of time… so…
T.KH: We’re extremely apologetic about this.
Then Tsuyoshi gives him an idol costume that looks suspiciously like Momoiro Clover Z’s costume but it merely says “Idol Ranger 5!”
K: What’s this? And it’s just basically MomoKuro’s costume isn’t it?
T: According to rumours from the wind, Koichi-san wants to become MomoKuro…
K: Like real! Besides, there’s supposed to be 5 and there’s only one of me! (I think that’s what he said)
Tsuyoshi’s and the kouhai’s eyes meet and they praise Koichi for his superb talk skills in chorus. Koichi cracks up all over again and it’s just really too much cute.
T: Next.
K: There’s more.
T: This is merely a suggestion by me. I’ve been thinking about this for 365 days from last year onwards (AWWW). Koichi-san, you’re called a prince by the rest of the world… right?
K: Unmistakably so.
T: That’s right, and now you’re a prince that has grown up into a man and while “prince” is also perfectly okay, it doesn’t seem to fit perfectly and I was thinking about it… and… Nazo wa subete toketa (I solved the mystery!)
K: Hajime-chan!!!
Tsuyoshi pulls out the hat from last year and Koichi says that he loved that hat. I think Tsuyoshi didn’t expect for Koichi to actually say that he liked it so he rambled on about how he’s grateful Koichi likes it but it’s not too suitable for him now so he’s giving it to the gods. Koichi calls him random. Tsuyoshi says he wants to make Koichi more kingly so… he pulls out gold Christmas tinsel.
T: This is 18K gold
K: 18K?! I’d prefer 24K.
T: Ah! Even though I said 18K on purpose, you managed to spot that it’s actually 24K! For doubting you and testing your abilities out, I’m…
T, KH: Extremely apologetic.
Koichi’s just cracking up over and over again. And Tsuyoshi tells him it’s from some exotic country puts it around his neck for him and praises him. Then he pulls out a crown, and says it’s the real thing made from snake-skin and all that, and they have a little coronation while Koichi complains about his hair getting messed up. THE BOY AND HIS PRIORITIES. The kouhais are fake crying at this point, about how their prince has turned into a king. LOL.
And finally, Tsuyoshi pulls out something else… And it’s his glasses in red colour! And Koichi’s basically giggling non-stop already, and Tsuyoshi puts it on for him. It’s ADORABLE. SEEING KINKI IN MATCHY DORKY COSTUMES. Koichi pulls his fringe over the glasses.
T: It suits you very well, and the way you set your fringe. It’s really high fashion.
They bring him to the center of the stage, and Tsuyo sticks the mic to his ear and it turns out the glasses play a happy birthday song and the whole Dome does the whisper Happy Birthday song again.<3
Tsuyoshi then asks him to say something since it’s his birthday, and Koichi’s like “Does it have to be interesting?” and Tsuyoshi says no but while he’s trying to say his word, the kouhais interrupt repeatedly with these jack-in-the-box type toys that make noises (like boing~!) as they pop out. Tsuyo scolds them every time and they do that bowing gag.
As they are finally wrapping up that little section, Koichi’s about to say something else… when a male fan on the second stand goes: HAPPY BIRTHDAY KOICHI! And Tsuyo makes them all become spies to protect his favourite king <333 Tsuyo asks them to spot the “attacker” and they point the guy out to Tsuyo and he shoots the guy down for his King.
FINALLY, Koichi gets to say what he wants to say for his birthday, and he thanks his mother, his father and his family. And it’s very sweet because he says he never does it but he really wants to thank them.
T: Then, moving on to the cake… (The projection of a cake appears on the backscreen.) Now… Let’s have the cake appear!
Nothing happens since the picture was ALREADY there.
K: Isn’t the cake already on the screen?
Tsuyoshi realizes his mistake and Koichi’s in stitches at this point, along with the rest of the audience who are cracking up at Tsuyoshi’s mistake cause Tsu screwing up in such a tennen way RARELY happens.
T: >< It’s too close, so I couldn’t see clearly, sorry.
Tsuyoshi goes on about how nice the cake is and even though it’s nice, it can’t be eaten… So he prepared one that can be eaten too! And Tsuyoshi points to the stage in the middle… and there’s a CAKE THERE! Koichi’s all like o.O !!!
Tsuyoshi asks Koichi to blow out the candles but obviously Koichi protests, and so they make Koichi walk down the long runway (like a coronation walk). Lol. Meanwhile Tsuyo and the kouhais are crying as they wave goodbye to their King. Tsuyo’s facial expressions at this point were ABSOLUTELY priceless.
They sing the song, Koichi blows out the candles…
T, KH: We’re extremely apologetic about your birthday.
K: I don’t understand what you mean.
(Koichi’s alone in the center stage.)
K: What do I do now?
T: You’ve turned 34, please make your own decisions.
They have a short strawberry time, and while Koichi’s eating, Tsuyoshi takes off his hat and glasses and gestures to the kouhais: Let’s play golf next time, call me! Bye!
Koichi merely stares. After Tsuyo sends them off…
T: And the next song is… Eh? Koichi? (He pretends to discover Koichi at the center stage) Why are you wearing a weird hat?
K: … Can I come back?
T: Please make your own decisions.
K: I want to stay here near the audience but if we’re singing… I have to go back.
T: SINGING?! Please take off that ridiculous costume first. XD
Koichi takes off his hat, tinsel and glasses all while Tsuyoshi stands still like a statue on stage, unmoving with a carefully neutral look that’s hilarious.
K: Can I come back?
T: Please make your own decisions.
Koichi returns to the stage, while saying he enjoyed his birthday <3 As he reaches the stage, he’s like OHHHHH SO THAT’S WHY I HAD TO CUT MY HAIR. It turns out that he was going to the kouhais' dressing room to chat with them but the staff and Tsuyoshi needed to talk to the kouhais about the party so the staff mailed him about cutting his hair… so that he’ll be alone while the rest planned <333
They then talked about the jack-in-the-box toys, one of which had a really weird happy birthday arrangement that Tsuyoshi loved so much he listened to it over and over again in his living room.
They then tried to start again but Ken-san wasn’t back yet and Koichi realized that the band members weren’t around… except for the strings members. Turns out Tsuyoshi asked them to help play the birthday song for Koichi <3
Koichi then talks about the present he got from Yara. Apparently they went to New York together and at the airport, they saw someone using a UFO toy and Koichi was super into it. And Yara somehow got his hands on it, and gave it to him as a present and Koichi was super happy about it <33 Thinking about it, Koichi remembered that Yara did disappear for a bit after the conversation about the UFO but he didn’t expect to get it for a present.
The band members hadn’t appeared yet and Tsuyoshi apologizes saying that the band members probably thought since it’s the two of them, it would take forever. So Tsuyoshi somehow says he got wine from some sempai in the music industry I think, and it’s been in his fridge. And Koichi’s like, I have a cellar. And Tsuyoshi’s like YOU HAVE A CELLAR. YOU’RE REALLY A KING HUH. I just put it in my fridge. LOL. I think the guy who gave him the wine told him to share it with someone special but there hasn’t been anyone since. (HMM)
The band members appear, and Tsuyoshi apologises for taking so long, and Koichi apologises too, but he retracts it later because it made him sound like he was sorry that Tsuyoshi celebrated his birthday. SUPER LOVE <3
Ending MC:
To come...