three bags full (2/2)

[fahye]

AND DONE \o/ Final wordcount: 13,846. Somebody had better validate the bloody mess this has made of my priorities in the last few weeks, or there will be TEARS and possibly WRATH.

I'm still not quite happy with it as a story -- the showing dips too far into telling in parts, because if I'm entirely honest it's the skeleton of something even longer

Comments

[nextian]

;lkjs:IFLJPIUEWGHPIUWEHGIULHWERKLUHWRJKLGHJKWEHGJKWEHGJKLWEHFKJLWEHFJKLWEHF.

FAHYE, IT IS AT TIMES LIKE THIS WHEN I WISH THE INTERNET OFFERED FULL NAMES, SO I COULD SHOUT THIS ONE AT YOU.

OH. MY. GOD.

OKAY FIRST MY TWO FAVORITE LINES BESIDES THE SHOCKING CAMEO OF EITHER MAI LINH OR NAHIA DOING HER BEST IMPRESSION OF MAI LINH AT THE END, I'M GUESSING THE FIRST, BUT ANYWAY"You don't understand." The boy clutches his bag -- leather, looks like it costs twice as much as Tee's entire outfit -- tighter to his chest and tries to look earnest; he hasn't the face for it. "We have recognised our pampered existence and chosen to move against it. We have renounced the Pipe. We wish to make a stand against the terrible polarisation of wealth and the social inequality that defines our country in such an unfortunate way

[nextian]

(I think I may have sworn at you an unnecessary amount in my enthusiasm. I am really sorry.)

[fahye]

I LIKE SWEARING. Well. I have had Tee camped out in my head for a month. It is approx. the same thing.

- cameo at the end = definitely Mai Linh! and Mai Linh was ALSO in part one, if you know where to look

- Tee and Pru?? Is that what you meant to type? *does not compute*

I WILL EMAIL YOU BACK. WITH WORDS.

[nextian]

Fahye, I think you underestimate my ability to hone in on any dark-haired eyai at a party ever and be like MAI LINH LOOK IT'S MAI LINH IT'S MY GIRLFRIEND. OF COURSE I knew where to look. I reread it like six times and laughed like a hyena.

Er I did mean to type it, horrific though it is, because she is -- good to him and it is adorable. I KNOW, DON'T HATE ME.

[fahye]

JUST CHECKING. I will never again underestimate your Mai Linh-spotting ability.

But but but it would be terrible! AND SHE IS MARRIED. And I know I didn't characterise Robin very well but they have very sweet love ;_;