This er, predictably reminds me of Praiseworthy. I don't know how I feel about self-referential/self-consciousness of the 'shining like similes' variety ... on the other hand Ionesco used his own name/plays in Rhinoceros, so who knows! I can't say things at any length that aren't related to Ukrainian politicians right now :( but if you would like to be hit with an egg ... that is a trick I have learned from the Opposition ...
The plays on "chron" are my favorite, I think, and does it really mean "to starve the time"? because that's fantastic if true and even better if false.
that was my time and I have travelled and now -- now I can't get back. rings a little awkward to me, as does one century on either side and I would be grounded; somehow I have been misplaced in space, in this continuum of space and time together.
and older than the cities and the trees and older than the skies around it and older than the limning light; an age profound and genteel. is lovely, really lovely. "limning light" is even sort of onomatopoeic.
The last stanza and the first line are both perfect. <3
No, it doesn't: I'm just playing on the modern 'ana' as slang for anorexia :)
Ugh, yeah, I'm not altogether happy with this as a poem - it was a whole lot of phrases and ideas on a page, and some of them wanted to be poetry so I pushed the other ones into it as well.
The bits tied together by the moon and time are beautiful. The moon and the clocks and the starving time. To me it reads better without the "in the future there is a hotel" stanza, but IDK, YMMV. (I like acronyms.)
I am very uncool when it comes to acronyms, most of them I just guess at. I remember working out what ROFL was, and also taking, like, six months to realise that STFU was not actally a shortening of "stuff you".
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that was my time and I have travelled and now --
now I can't get back. rings a little awkward to me, as does
one century on either side and I would be grounded;
somehow I have been misplaced in space,
in this continuum of space and time together.
and older than the cities and the trees
and older than the skies around it
and older than the limning light;
an age profound and genteel. is lovely, really lovely. "limning light" is even sort of onomatopoeic.
The last stanza and the first line are both perfect. <3
Reply
Ugh, yeah, I'm not altogether happy with this as a poem - it was a whole lot of phrases and ideas on a page, and some of them wanted to be poetry so I pushed the other ones into it as well.
Reply
The bits tied together by the moon and time are beautiful. The moon and the clocks and the starving time. To me it reads better without the "in the future there is a hotel" stanza, but IDK, YMMV. (I like acronyms.)
Reply
I am very uncool when it comes to acronyms, most of them I just guess at. I remember working out what ROFL was, and also taking, like, six months to realise that STFU was not actally a shortening of "stuff you".
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I pronounce acronyms in my head! I like "stuff you" (only mashed together to get STFU) better than saying the individual letters.
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