(no subject)
all i want is to ingest inspiration and crap creativity. flourescent lights don't do anything, neither do walls, they blind me from realizing possibilities and contain me in a frame. i'm fighting on both sides of reality, i can keep doing what i'm doing and let the academic financial world live my life for me, or take time to do what makes me feel good and face consequences and regret later. i find little inspiration from things learned inside walls, academic walls, institution walls, and therefore creativity is hardly possible. i want to practice my balance, i want to learn art technique, how to make the process faster and closer resemble the picture in my mind, and if i can't play guitar well then i at least want to make a ukulele sound pretty. i'm killing myself to remain alive, if we don't live forever then life's gotta be worth something to each person, everyone can value "worthy" things differently, why is it that after we're born we're told what things are worthy and what are not, and why do we listen... only because we've been threatened. I'm waiting to sail the seas but in the meantime, i'll lighten up.