Yes, feeling kinda masochistic...
Yes. The title describes pretty well how I've been feeling this last month. Remember how happy I was because I was taking full responsability for my feelings for my 'not' bf?. Well...
It has been a cruel month. The thing is. I do love him, I do... I truthfully do and he knows it. I told him and when I was giving my all to try to have a real relationship with him... Boom, reality beat me up.
It was his b-day and we have so much prepare for this date. So much it was the begining of so much more. But sadly, one day after his b-day a girl was stalking me in twitter and I found out it was now his gf. FUCK!.
That day I talked to him. He told me the truth he cheated on me with this girl once and got pregnant and he didn't want to leave her like that. He had a responsability because their families know each other for ages. But what about me?.
I cried and cried and cried until I felt better but not the same.
I'm not the same, my heart is broken.
And the worst is that like 15 days later I found out that the gf was still stalking me in twitter and talking a lot of shitty things about me. She even had the guts to start following me!. Oh and I have the worst luck because when I was about to block her I pushed follow by mistake... I was sooo embarrased hahahaha... Well the thing is that I blocked her so now she can't read me and honestly I don't care about her. She's kinda pitiful she created this history in her mind in which I was some sort of bitch when truth to be told he's an asshole and played with the both of us. And besides I dated him for almost a year non-stop and she doesn't even lives here so they never really had a relationship.
I just wish that if he changed me for someone it had been someone better than me, not a stupid child spoiled who thinks it knows better for being pregnant. I'm sorry, I know I'm never like this but, whats the sense in try to fool myself by saying she's a good girl? She's not. A real woman and even better a real lady would have never done to me what she did... but she did and I can't change it, I hope they are happy I really do because I just want him to be happy... I know, I'm such a fool but well, that doesn't really matter anymore.
Let's keep on moving in my story. She's not the protagonist hahahaha.
The last october 26 it was a month since we "broke up" and I found out about everything. It has been a hard month. The worst is that even tho he played with my heart I love him and I want to be with him. But well, I have dignity, now I'm repairing myself.
It's not like the last time I fall for my Angel. No. It's different, it hurts even more.
Now I'm smiling feeling a little better. I know that only time will cure me.
I'm looking forward to it.
I know I'll be fine, It's just a matter of time.
Above all this I'm kinda nervios because tomorrow my mom will have a surgery. I know she'll be OK but I can't avoid to feel nervous. I know God and the guardian angels are going to be there looking after her. Please have her in your prays. Thank you ^_^.