1 Litre of Tears - 15 Years Old - The Sickness Sneaks In (Part I)
The Symptoms
Somehow, I've been losing weight these days. Is it because I skip meals to do my homework and free research? I still worry about it, even if I don't want to. I cannot help it but to blame myself for it. Giving out my energy is really exhausting. I wish I could gain my weight a little. From tomorrow, let's take some action so that I won't waste any of my plans on my planning sheets.
It was raining heavily. I hate going to school like this. With the heavy bag, and I need to hold another bag, as well as an umbrella. Yeah, just when I thought about it, my knees became shaky, and I fell on a narrow street, scattered with pebbles, about 100 meters away from my home. I hit my chin badly. When I tried to touch my chin gently, I could feel the sticky blood on my finger. I picked my bags and umbrella that are scattered around on the street, make a right turn and went straight home.
From inside my house, my mom came out to the entrance, while saying, "Did you forget something?", "What's wrong?". However, I was unable to say anything, and just manage to cry. My mom quickly wiped my bloody face with towel. There was sand caught in between the open wound. "We need to show this to the doctor", she said. I quickly change my wet clothes, put a bandage on the wound, and rode the car. Without any anesthetic[1] , I've gotten two stitches on my chin. This is because of my own clumsiness. Even though it hurts, I still try to bear with it by clenching my teeth. More than that, you suddenly need to take a day off from work. I'm sorry, Mom. While inspecting the painful chin in the mirror, I was wondering, why my hand didn't move forward at all, to support me from falling? Was it because of my bad reflexes? However, I'm quite glad that I'm hurt at the bottom of my chin. If the wound is in visible place, as a girl, I could say that I won't have any future in getting married.
Physical Education Records:
In the morning, the light and the soft breeze enters through the yellow lace curtain from the kitchen window. I was crying. "Why? Why is my reflex is so slow?" Actually, I have a balance beam test today. My mom said, looking down, "But Aya, you are good in studies, right? So it's okay. You can make use of your favorite subject in the future. You can master and excel in your English thoroughly, as you're quite good in it. It will surely be useful later as English is a universal language. It doesn't matter if your Physical Education score is 1". My tears stopped. Some of her word gave an impact to me.
I can no longer control my tears too. My body does not move as what I want it to do. Am I became flustered because I did not do my homework, which was actually could be done in a day for just five hours? No. Something seems to start to breakdown inside my body. I'm scared! I felt my chest tighten. I want to do exercises. I want to run around to my heart's content. I want to study. I want to write letters[3] neatly.
The song, "Toccata of Tears"[4] is really good. I seriously came to like the song. When you eat your meal while listening to it, it'll make the food taste good, like you are in a dream.
"Younger Sister". The theory.
Until now, I only noticed my sister's bad side, but I came to think that she is actually really kind. That's because, when I went to school in the morning, my little brother will go ahead of me, leaving my little sister to walk with me, while she cursed my little brother for leaving us behind. When we were about to cross the pedestrian bridge, she would hold my bag, and said, "Hold the handrail when you are going up."
I'm greatly out of the summer holiday mood. After finishing my dinner and cleaning up, as I'm about to go up to the second floor, my mom called me out and said, "Aya-chan, could you sit down here for a while?" I was so nervous. What did I do that needed to be scolded at? Mom was looking really serious. "Aya-chan, did you notice? Recently, it seems that when you were walking, you'll unsteadily sway from left to right, and your upper body is slightly leaning forward. I was watching your state and somehow, I was quite worried. Do you want to go to the hospital for once?", "...Which hospital?", I finally managed to ask. "I'm searching for a hospital that will examine you properly. Leave it to me". My tears flow out without control. I really want to say this, "Thank you Mom, I'm sorry for making you worried.", but my throat unable to come out with the words. There must be something wrong if I need to go to the hospital. I was asking myself. Is it because of my slow reflexes? Or am I taking my meal irregularly? Or because I stay up late at night? I couldn't help but to cry while wondering this. I cried so much, it hurts.
[1] Anesthetic: A drug to prevent pain during surgery.
[2] Circuit Training: Form of body conditioning or resistance training using high-intensity aerobics. It targets strength building and muscular endurance.
[3] Letters: It actually means the Kanji letters.
[4] Toccata of Tears: A song played by Paul Mauriat who was famous in Japan in the early 1970s.
Somehow, I've been losing weight these days. Is it because I skip meals to do my homework and free research? I still worry about it, even if I don't want to. I cannot help it but to blame myself for it. Giving out my energy is really exhausting. I wish I could gain my weight a little. From tomorrow, let's take some action so that I won't waste any of my plans on my planning sheets.
It was raining heavily. I hate going to school like this. With the heavy bag, and I need to hold another bag, as well as an umbrella. Yeah, just when I thought about it, my knees became shaky, and I fell on a narrow street, scattered with pebbles, about 100 meters away from my home. I hit my chin badly. When I tried to touch my chin gently, I could feel the sticky blood on my finger. I picked my bags and umbrella that are scattered around on the street, make a right turn and went straight home.
From inside my house, my mom came out to the entrance, while saying, "Did you forget something?", "What's wrong?". However, I was unable to say anything, and just manage to cry. My mom quickly wiped my bloody face with towel. There was sand caught in between the open wound. "We need to show this to the doctor", she said. I quickly change my wet clothes, put a bandage on the wound, and rode the car. Without any anesthetic[1] , I've gotten two stitches on my chin. This is because of my own clumsiness. Even though it hurts, I still try to bear with it by clenching my teeth. More than that, you suddenly need to take a day off from work. I'm sorry, Mom. While inspecting the painful chin in the mirror, I was wondering, why my hand didn't move forward at all, to support me from falling? Was it because of my bad reflexes? However, I'm quite glad that I'm hurt at the bottom of my chin. If the wound is in visible place, as a girl, I could say that I won't have any future in getting married.
Physical Education Records:
- First Year in Junior High = 3.
- Second Year in Junior High = 2.
- Third Year in Junior High = 1.
In the morning, the light and the soft breeze enters through the yellow lace curtain from the kitchen window. I was crying. "Why? Why is my reflex is so slow?" Actually, I have a balance beam test today. My mom said, looking down, "But Aya, you are good in studies, right? So it's okay. You can make use of your favorite subject in the future. You can master and excel in your English thoroughly, as you're quite good in it. It will surely be useful later as English is a universal language. It doesn't matter if your Physical Education score is 1". My tears stopped. Some of her word gave an impact to me.
I can no longer control my tears too. My body does not move as what I want it to do. Am I became flustered because I did not do my homework, which was actually could be done in a day for just five hours? No. Something seems to start to breakdown inside my body. I'm scared! I felt my chest tighten. I want to do exercises. I want to run around to my heart's content. I want to study. I want to write letters[3] neatly.
The song, "Toccata of Tears"[4] is really good. I seriously came to like the song. When you eat your meal while listening to it, it'll make the food taste good, like you are in a dream.
"Younger Sister". The theory.
Until now, I only noticed my sister's bad side, but I came to think that she is actually really kind. That's because, when I went to school in the morning, my little brother will go ahead of me, leaving my little sister to walk with me, while she cursed my little brother for leaving us behind. When we were about to cross the pedestrian bridge, she would hold my bag, and said, "Hold the handrail when you are going up."
I'm greatly out of the summer holiday mood. After finishing my dinner and cleaning up, as I'm about to go up to the second floor, my mom called me out and said, "Aya-chan, could you sit down here for a while?" I was so nervous. What did I do that needed to be scolded at? Mom was looking really serious. "Aya-chan, did you notice? Recently, it seems that when you were walking, you'll unsteadily sway from left to right, and your upper body is slightly leaning forward. I was watching your state and somehow, I was quite worried. Do you want to go to the hospital for once?", "...Which hospital?", I finally managed to ask. "I'm searching for a hospital that will examine you properly. Leave it to me". My tears flow out without control. I really want to say this, "Thank you Mom, I'm sorry for making you worried.", but my throat unable to come out with the words. There must be something wrong if I need to go to the hospital. I was asking myself. Is it because of my slow reflexes? Or am I taking my meal irregularly? Or because I stay up late at night? I couldn't help but to cry while wondering this. I cried so much, it hurts.
[1] Anesthetic: A drug to prevent pain during surgery.
[2] Circuit Training: Form of body conditioning or resistance training using high-intensity aerobics. It targets strength building and muscular endurance.
[3] Letters: It actually means the Kanji letters.
[4] Toccata of Tears: A song played by Paul Mauriat who was famous in Japan in the early 1970s.