clarification...
No, Matt didn't completely abandon me. He never kicked me out. He still housed me and fed me. He knew that I couldn't physically take care of myself, and I thank him for what he was able to do for me. What he did was back away and back away emotionally until we went from engaged to roommates sharing a bed. I still care about him. I still love him even, and I worry about him. And I think he still cares about me, but I dunno about love.
I know it's time for me to move on. I've clung to this much MUCH longer than I should have. Mentally, I finally feel strong enough to move on. And I'll be going to be with my Master. But I worry that He won't be able to deal with my disabilities either. I know it's a different situation...Matt got these things sprung on him mid-relationship. Master knew about them before He bought me. But I still worry that the experience of dealing with me will be so different from just talking about it that He'll get tired of dealing with me. And then I feel bad for lacking faith in Him.
Yeah, I know...I'm a froot loop...and I think too much...at least now I'm thinking in here instead of just having all these thought crashing around in my head and driving me nutz. :)
Okay, about time to clock in...
I know it's time for me to move on. I've clung to this much MUCH longer than I should have. Mentally, I finally feel strong enough to move on. And I'll be going to be with my Master. But I worry that He won't be able to deal with my disabilities either. I know it's a different situation...Matt got these things sprung on him mid-relationship. Master knew about them before He bought me. But I still worry that the experience of dealing with me will be so different from just talking about it that He'll get tired of dealing with me. And then I feel bad for lacking faith in Him.
Yeah, I know...I'm a froot loop...and I think too much...at least now I'm thinking in here instead of just having all these thought crashing around in my head and driving me nutz. :)
Okay, about time to clock in...