(Pathetic?) Request
I feel so thoroughly rejected these days that I don't remember what it feels like to honestly feel liked.
My situation at work is intolerable. I don't want to go into details here but the short version is that my co-workers--the ones in my classroom--don't like or respect me. Worse, they speak and act around me as though they think I don't know what I'm doing, and it's more than apparent that they don't have any trust in me at all when it comes to the students. Today I found out that they were planning a class field trip without even having mentioned it to me, let alone ask for my input.
It's not going to last, because Liz--the one who makes things the hardest for me--is being moved to another classroom, and someone else will be coming into my room from a different class. But Liz, as lead instructor and the one who has been with NYCA the longest, has been responsible for training Jin Hee, one of the new hires, who has also just started in my class (replacing the instructor who quit back in the first week of October). And Liz has made her opinions of me very clear to Jin Hee, and has made a point of showing her disdain for me, which won't quite help me with the fresh start I'm hoping to make when we come back in January.
I only have 3 days left before break. But for the last few weeks, every day has been terrible for me... and that's not even saying anything about how my students' behavior, which has been extremely challenging.
With minimal exception, I have neither support nor meaningful social interaction while I'm at work. And of course, I don't get to see much of Isaiah because of that show he's working for. So I'm lonely, and exhausted, and finding it more difficult every day to stay upbeat.
So I'm asking: please reach out to me. I'm tired of feeling rejected. I don't want to call or send messages that don't get answered, even if it's just because no one is home. I don't want to ask people to make plans anymore only to have other people be too busy, or just uninterested in seeing me. Send me an e-mail, or an IM? Ask me to hang out, if you're in the area? I have James Taylor in my mind, now. "Don't let me be lonely tonight."
My situation at work is intolerable. I don't want to go into details here but the short version is that my co-workers--the ones in my classroom--don't like or respect me. Worse, they speak and act around me as though they think I don't know what I'm doing, and it's more than apparent that they don't have any trust in me at all when it comes to the students. Today I found out that they were planning a class field trip without even having mentioned it to me, let alone ask for my input.
It's not going to last, because Liz--the one who makes things the hardest for me--is being moved to another classroom, and someone else will be coming into my room from a different class. But Liz, as lead instructor and the one who has been with NYCA the longest, has been responsible for training Jin Hee, one of the new hires, who has also just started in my class (replacing the instructor who quit back in the first week of October). And Liz has made her opinions of me very clear to Jin Hee, and has made a point of showing her disdain for me, which won't quite help me with the fresh start I'm hoping to make when we come back in January.
I only have 3 days left before break. But for the last few weeks, every day has been terrible for me... and that's not even saying anything about how my students' behavior, which has been extremely challenging.
With minimal exception, I have neither support nor meaningful social interaction while I'm at work. And of course, I don't get to see much of Isaiah because of that show he's working for. So I'm lonely, and exhausted, and finding it more difficult every day to stay upbeat.
So I'm asking: please reach out to me. I'm tired of feeling rejected. I don't want to call or send messages that don't get answered, even if it's just because no one is home. I don't want to ask people to make plans anymore only to have other people be too busy, or just uninterested in seeing me. Send me an e-mail, or an IM? Ask me to hang out, if you're in the area? I have James Taylor in my mind, now. "Don't let me be lonely tonight."