Chores advice?
For those of you, in particular (not that anyone else is excluded from responding!), who have lived with a significant other:
How do you get someone to do a chore when nothing is working? On certain chores, Isaiah and I take turns. Washing dishes is one of them. We both hate doing dishes and can be bad about letting them pile up, so eventually, one of us will suck it up and wash all of them. Then it becomes the next person's turn.
WARNING: this is about to get kind of gross.
Our anniversary was on November 12th. Isaiah made me a beautiful dinner, and promised that he would wash all the dishes, because it was my anniversary gift. It also happened to be his turn. Right? Okay. Only, he never washed them. And more dishes have been added to the sink. Occasionally, one or two dishes at a time get washed in order to be used, but the bulk of them have simply stayed there. It has been nearly a month. I said we both let dishes pile up, but I have never, ever let dishes sit for that long. If you're feeling completely repulsed right now, well, so am I.
And I've tried everything:
--Asking politely
--Reminding him that it was my anniversary gift and his turn
--Making jokes that actually involved humor
--Asking with frustration
--More reminders
--Making jokes that didn't really pretend to mask irritation
--Getting angry
--Guilt trips (but not severe ones)
--Getting polite again
--Reminding him that we're supposed to be a team and have to share household duties
Bear in mind also that, although Isaiah is very busy and works hard, he doesn't leave for work until 2 p.m. on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, and stays home until 6 p.m. on Thursday and Friday. Up until this past week, he didn't have to leave at all on Thursday and Friday.
I have refused point-blank, and made it very clear to him that I was doing so, that I was not under any circumstances going to wash the dishes. I joked for a while that I was going to buy myself paper plates and plastic cutlery to use, which he will not be allowed to share. I am not going to teach him that he can avoid this until I'll do it for him; I will not become my mother. Trying to stay neat and/or organized is hard enough for me and I'm not very good about it yet. I'm not going to add taking care of someone else into the mix.
But I'm disgusted. And angry. Because, yes, he's loving and supportive and totally trustworthy as a partner. But as a roommate, he's proving himself unreliable and not living up to his promises.
Are you grossed out yet? So am I. I will be scrubbing the sink with bleach and buying new sponges. But I'm not going to wash those fucking dishes.
So what do I do?
How do you get someone to do a chore when nothing is working? On certain chores, Isaiah and I take turns. Washing dishes is one of them. We both hate doing dishes and can be bad about letting them pile up, so eventually, one of us will suck it up and wash all of them. Then it becomes the next person's turn.
WARNING: this is about to get kind of gross.
Our anniversary was on November 12th. Isaiah made me a beautiful dinner, and promised that he would wash all the dishes, because it was my anniversary gift. It also happened to be his turn. Right? Okay. Only, he never washed them. And more dishes have been added to the sink. Occasionally, one or two dishes at a time get washed in order to be used, but the bulk of them have simply stayed there. It has been nearly a month. I said we both let dishes pile up, but I have never, ever let dishes sit for that long. If you're feeling completely repulsed right now, well, so am I.
And I've tried everything:
--Asking politely
--Reminding him that it was my anniversary gift and his turn
--Making jokes that actually involved humor
--Asking with frustration
--More reminders
--Making jokes that didn't really pretend to mask irritation
--Getting angry
--Guilt trips (but not severe ones)
--Getting polite again
--Reminding him that we're supposed to be a team and have to share household duties
Bear in mind also that, although Isaiah is very busy and works hard, he doesn't leave for work until 2 p.m. on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, and stays home until 6 p.m. on Thursday and Friday. Up until this past week, he didn't have to leave at all on Thursday and Friday.
I have refused point-blank, and made it very clear to him that I was doing so, that I was not under any circumstances going to wash the dishes. I joked for a while that I was going to buy myself paper plates and plastic cutlery to use, which he will not be allowed to share. I am not going to teach him that he can avoid this until I'll do it for him; I will not become my mother. Trying to stay neat and/or organized is hard enough for me and I'm not very good about it yet. I'm not going to add taking care of someone else into the mix.
But I'm disgusted. And angry. Because, yes, he's loving and supportive and totally trustworthy as a partner. But as a roommate, he's proving himself unreliable and not living up to his promises.
Are you grossed out yet? So am I. I will be scrubbing the sink with bleach and buying new sponges. But I'm not going to wash those fucking dishes.
So what do I do?