Sunday

Mar 21, 2011 01:25

 Okay, so I kind of flailed and failed a lot with my "apply for jobs" plan last week. I made a list of 5 jobs I found on Sunday to apply for throughout the week. I apped to a Newswire Editor position in *sigh* Charlotte. I've never even been to Charlotte. It's 4 hours away. When I was driving to Florida and I was 4 hours in, I was like "oh man, I can do this shit - Charlotte's 4 hours from my house; I can do that too!" but thinking of it now and during the last week sort of makes me tired and like a whiny little kid who doesn't want to do chores.

Found 2 editor-type positions today, one near Raleigh and one actually in J-ville, which is bizarre but happens very very occasionally. They both appear to be very recent ads (about a week old, less than a week), so that's good. Oxford University Press is like a beautiful dream to me, though that's true of various other companies. But OUP is a huge, recognizable name, and I am in love with them, and it has locations outside of fucking New York and Boston. (Okay, not a lot of U.S. locations, and certainly not very good ones, in my opinion. Sorry, New York and Maryland.)

Looked at some grad school information about the publishing business, and if I decide to do something like that, I think I need an on-campus program, not an online program. Although I think I probably would enjoy the experience more in-person versus online, it's primarily because it seems to me extremely easy to miss out on "networking" type of opportunities online. I'm sure people can and will do that, but I don't think that I can, realistically, as I am now. 
 Looked for "Snow, Glass, Apples" online today and ended up listening to the reading or ... whatever it's called by Bebe Neuwirth and the Seeing Ear Theatre. Fun times. Well, maybe not "fun," but you know. Also quite a bit creepy with all the, uh, "manhood."

Thinking about the past and what I could say to people, and if I really want to (hint: I don't), about what they put me through, and thinking about the whole issue of freezing your emotions, operating as if you don't really have any deep ones, when you can live like that and when you can't, and wondering if I taught myself to live like that so well in 2009, and tried to re-ingrain that in myself last summer, that I miss out on some of my own feelings until they punch me in the face. 
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