(no subject)
It's been almost two months since I last wrote. I think mostly this means that I haven't had much to say, or didn't feel that I had the energy to say what was maybe not worth saying.
The improv conference was fine. Not great, but fine. There was more than one circumstance that made me feel like I hadn't adequately prepared, and feelings of inadequacy plus awkward (plus abandonment) led to some serious social anxiety and frustration. Halfway through Improv Til We're Dead, I might as well have been mute. But the first night was good, the party was good, the coming down was good. I think this was the final nudge I needed to let go. No more improv conference for the Erin. Next year, other competent people will take over (my god, Ian and Annika were fantastic this year), and I will be a grateful and enthusiastic audience member again. And I think I will be much happier there.
There hasn't really been any other big news since then. I've been a non-smoker for over eight months now. I like the way that my clothes and my body go together more than I have in a long time. Our house is still cluttered and covered in dust. I'm still having a hard time letting go of jealousy and whining and bitter.
Current reading: How to Talk Dirty & Influence People by Lenny Bruce and How Not to Be Afraid of Your Own Life by Susan Piver. Let's hope one of them works.
The improv conference was fine. Not great, but fine. There was more than one circumstance that made me feel like I hadn't adequately prepared, and feelings of inadequacy plus awkward (plus abandonment) led to some serious social anxiety and frustration. Halfway through Improv Til We're Dead, I might as well have been mute. But the first night was good, the party was good, the coming down was good. I think this was the final nudge I needed to let go. No more improv conference for the Erin. Next year, other competent people will take over (my god, Ian and Annika were fantastic this year), and I will be a grateful and enthusiastic audience member again. And I think I will be much happier there.
There hasn't really been any other big news since then. I've been a non-smoker for over eight months now. I like the way that my clothes and my body go together more than I have in a long time. Our house is still cluttered and covered in dust. I'm still having a hard time letting go of jealousy and whining and bitter.
Current reading: How to Talk Dirty & Influence People by Lenny Bruce and How Not to Be Afraid of Your Own Life by Susan Piver. Let's hope one of them works.