all i seem to manage is miscellany these days
As I told barefoottomboy recently, time and I keep losing track of each other. I feel non-linear rather often, like time keeps happening around me until I look up and discover that it's been passing. Ugh, my brain. But: things I have been doing lately!
-- Shenaniganning with Sarah, who was home for a week. We marathonned the Lord of the Rings films again, curled up on blankets in the attic, which awoke an unholy torrent of fangirly passion and nostalgia, leading to:
-- Re-reading all of LotR in three days. And liveblogging it extensively and only somewhat irreverently on Tumblr. UMMM. I have no excuses: but in all truth it was one of the loveliest things I've done in a while. Tolkien was one of my first great driving passions from the age of twelve onwards, and shaped so many aspects of my life and interests and artistic expression that I cannot even begin to repay my debt, and dipping back into his work is like coming home. And the years-long break since I'd last properly read the book was nice, because as I probably read it twenty times in one year I had most of it memorised for so long that coming to a place where I could rediscover pieces was really refreshing, bringing back a little of the old violent wonder and excitement. My ridiculous crushes on... rather a lot of characters, but especially Aragorn and Faramir... remain unabated. (SURPRISE.) Also my incoherent glee at Tolkien's immersive knowledge of folklore, and trying to figure out languagey bits, and writing down really excellent words. I used to feel so much as though I were part of a story when I first read Tolkien long ago -- I wish I could get back that feeling. It's been a very long time since I've had the flash, even. Magic used to feel so much closer, and I don't think it's gone away only because I've "grown up" and stopped fitting in the right spaces. If only I'd a Doctor coming to fix that for me!
I think my reading's helping me come alive a bit -- have I perhaps hinted at how much winter and I are not friends?! -- although I still feel like if I could give my brain a good reboot I could potentially accomplish something. Ugh. There's been birdsong and sunshine today, though, so not all bad! Come, spring, come!
-- Funny, I hadn't entirely noticed how fast asleep I've been till I've started waking up, but I've been listening to a lot of music these last few weeks and realised I've barely been doing even that of late. Mumford & Sons still fill me with incoherent joy, however, and in keeping with my Tolkien marathon I've had Omnia and the Magickal Folk of the Faraway Tree and Nancy Elizabeth on repeat. (Need more wyrdfolk! Don't have enough! Never enough!)
-- I also discovered that Richard Shindell's "Spring", one of my favourite songs since I was fifteen or so, is ridiculously easy to play, and forming my own take on it is turning out to be entirely lovely. Alas, dedicated guitar-playing keeps leading to TERRIBLE THUMB INJURIES. I could use a pick, but I sort of hate them; I can't feel the guitar any more and the sound is less warm and too loud. Harrumph.
-- And I wrote a song. Accidentally. More on that later, once I've finished tweaking the lyrics and figuring out how to compensate for the backing band of droney-thing/cello/piano/upright bass/big bass drum in my head with just a guitar. (Where's my band? Why haven't I got a band? Am I prepared to deal with that? I don't think so! Alack and alas.)
-- Just now I'm huddled up at the coffeeshop, having enjoyed a mug of double bergamot Earl Grey and a large and moist chocolate muffin and ostensibly writing, because I sort of accidentally wrote Tam-Lin/Janet dialogue last night and am trying to see if I can make any more things happen? I am tired of having to research everything -- but it turns out that I don't know much about anything, really; my modern-day superhero novel would require me to research how grown-up city people live, which is more accessible than the political tensions leading to the Great War, but still. Feh. Maybe I could write something tiny and people-centred and not have to do any historical research at all! There are fairies; it could be a weird alternate universe!
(But I'm too proud and perfectionisty for that! Help.)
(I seem to be doing a lot of accidental writing lately. What is going on?!)
-- My bedroom is such a massive disaster that I can't gird up my loins to clean it. Which is a problem because, as mentioned: disaster. Something might have died in there and I wouldn't know it.
(Oh help, am in public; why did I put on The King is Dead IRRESISTABLE URGE TO CHAIRDANCE OVERWHELMNG MY BETTER JUDGEMENT. Stupid song, why are you so catchy it hurts?)
Anyway, I am making another effort to be a proper presence hereabouts! The problem with LiveJournal is that it forces me to be introspective, which is not always easy, especially in wintertime.
-- Shenaniganning with Sarah, who was home for a week. We marathonned the Lord of the Rings films again, curled up on blankets in the attic, which awoke an unholy torrent of fangirly passion and nostalgia, leading to:
-- Re-reading all of LotR in three days. And liveblogging it extensively and only somewhat irreverently on Tumblr. UMMM. I have no excuses: but in all truth it was one of the loveliest things I've done in a while. Tolkien was one of my first great driving passions from the age of twelve onwards, and shaped so many aspects of my life and interests and artistic expression that I cannot even begin to repay my debt, and dipping back into his work is like coming home. And the years-long break since I'd last properly read the book was nice, because as I probably read it twenty times in one year I had most of it memorised for so long that coming to a place where I could rediscover pieces was really refreshing, bringing back a little of the old violent wonder and excitement. My ridiculous crushes on... rather a lot of characters, but especially Aragorn and Faramir... remain unabated. (SURPRISE.) Also my incoherent glee at Tolkien's immersive knowledge of folklore, and trying to figure out languagey bits, and writing down really excellent words. I used to feel so much as though I were part of a story when I first read Tolkien long ago -- I wish I could get back that feeling. It's been a very long time since I've had the flash, even. Magic used to feel so much closer, and I don't think it's gone away only because I've "grown up" and stopped fitting in the right spaces. If only I'd a Doctor coming to fix that for me!
I think my reading's helping me come alive a bit -- have I perhaps hinted at how much winter and I are not friends?! -- although I still feel like if I could give my brain a good reboot I could potentially accomplish something. Ugh. There's been birdsong and sunshine today, though, so not all bad! Come, spring, come!
-- Funny, I hadn't entirely noticed how fast asleep I've been till I've started waking up, but I've been listening to a lot of music these last few weeks and realised I've barely been doing even that of late. Mumford & Sons still fill me with incoherent joy, however, and in keeping with my Tolkien marathon I've had Omnia and the Magickal Folk of the Faraway Tree and Nancy Elizabeth on repeat. (Need more wyrdfolk! Don't have enough! Never enough!)
-- I also discovered that Richard Shindell's "Spring", one of my favourite songs since I was fifteen or so, is ridiculously easy to play, and forming my own take on it is turning out to be entirely lovely. Alas, dedicated guitar-playing keeps leading to TERRIBLE THUMB INJURIES. I could use a pick, but I sort of hate them; I can't feel the guitar any more and the sound is less warm and too loud. Harrumph.
-- And I wrote a song. Accidentally. More on that later, once I've finished tweaking the lyrics and figuring out how to compensate for the backing band of droney-thing/cello/piano/upright bass/big bass drum in my head with just a guitar. (Where's my band? Why haven't I got a band? Am I prepared to deal with that? I don't think so! Alack and alas.)
-- Just now I'm huddled up at the coffeeshop, having enjoyed a mug of double bergamot Earl Grey and a large and moist chocolate muffin and ostensibly writing, because I sort of accidentally wrote Tam-Lin/Janet dialogue last night and am trying to see if I can make any more things happen? I am tired of having to research everything -- but it turns out that I don't know much about anything, really; my modern-day superhero novel would require me to research how grown-up city people live, which is more accessible than the political tensions leading to the Great War, but still. Feh. Maybe I could write something tiny and people-centred and not have to do any historical research at all! There are fairies; it could be a weird alternate universe!
(But I'm too proud and perfectionisty for that! Help.)
(I seem to be doing a lot of accidental writing lately. What is going on?!)
-- My bedroom is such a massive disaster that I can't gird up my loins to clean it. Which is a problem because, as mentioned: disaster. Something might have died in there and I wouldn't know it.
(Oh help, am in public; why did I put on The King is Dead IRRESISTABLE URGE TO CHAIRDANCE OVERWHELMNG MY BETTER JUDGEMENT. Stupid song, why are you so catchy it hurts?)
Anyway, I am making another effort to be a proper presence hereabouts! The problem with LiveJournal is that it forces me to be introspective, which is not always easy, especially in wintertime.