things and other things
I feel I really oughtn't recap my doings when I'm feeling dismal, but there's only so much year left in which to do it, so here I am.
-- Christmas: was lovely, but quiet; I made good on my promise to spring out of bed before morning light and barrel down the stairs as I did when I was seven, and Leandra was utterly delighted with everything (she woke my parents with a cry of "I got an orange in my stocking!"), and Kyra and Anna's packages were the most epic, and there was much merrymaking, and we had calzones for Christmas dinner which was extremely satisfying. I just wish -- and this is going to sound bitterer than it was at the time for my mood today verges on the black -- that there was something more to it; the last couple of Christmases have been very... routine. I'm glad not to travel (well, no, I adore travelling just in general, but I'm glad not to have to go see relatives and try to have my own kind of Christmas while having to wear another outward social un-self all the time, because that is exhausting and depressing), but I wish we'd have a Christmas that was larger and more magical; something I can live on for a while. It's Christmas, you know?
I did end the night by watching the Doctor Who Christmas special with my siblings, and it is officially the greatest Christmas special that ever was.
-- The day after Christmas we drove to my aunt's to visit with her and my grandparents and an uncle and his wife we don't see very often. I wasn't exactly overjoyed about this; I wanted to stretch out the holidays lying in bed with peppermint bark and one of my new books, not in a car all day going to socialise. I like my aunt; she's my favourite aunt; but hanging out with my cousins only reminds me of what different people we've become since we were twelve (or rather, how much they haven't changed since we were twelve and how much I have) and I have to be funny and irreverent and retreat into this other self and... ugh. Also: constant socialising. And explaining myself. And thinking up things to tell people about what I am doing with my life that don't spell out COMPLETE FAILURE in flashing neon lights.
And again my mood is tainting everything. I did not have a miserable time. Even if we almost got swallowed by a snowstorm on our way there. There was good conversation, and truffles, and my grandmother gave me a lot of Twinings English Breakfast in a tin shaped like a phonebooth. When grandparents and uncle had gone we watched Waking Sleeping Beauty, the film about the Disney animation renaissance, and that was really marvellous.
Then it took us all day the next day to actually leave. But when we did, we stopped at Trader Joe's on the way out (if we see one, we stop at it; it is a Rule), and while Mum and Dad stocked up on imported coffees, I taste-tested cilantro-garlic hummus on naan (so good) and bought myself a baguette and an apple and a bag of chocolate-covered peanut brittle to keep me company in the car. And there was a lovely moment late at night, when I peered out the window at the vast sky of stars over the highway with "I See the Light" playing in my ears (and after that a lot of Patrick Wolf).
-- Since we were unable to meet for post-Christmas festivities on St Stephen's Day (the 27th), Sarah and I celebrated the Feast of St Fitzherbert on the 28th. Shut up I did not just make him up the night before. He is the patron saint of badgers, musical theatre, moustaches, putting things on top of other things, glitter, inappropriate starches, and mouse ghosts, so far as we know. Holiday rituals include carefully scouting out passersby until you find one with the exact right hair and then sneaking up on them and cutting off a lock out of which to make a moustache and getting away before they catch you (we skipped this one, alas, on account of... things), eating pizza off fine china, the ceremonial sprinkling of sparkles (we had to use spangle stars because Walmart does not stock glitter because they hate joy), consuming chocolates, doing a special dance to make food rain down from the grocery store heavens, getting really absolutely smashed on tea, and singing the Hymn of St Fitzherbert, which is a very rollicking hymn indeed. Also we watched the Doctor Who Christmas special again. ALSO I GOT PRESENTS.
-- Wednesday we went to the mall (lovely earrings a dollar apiece! VAMPIRE DIARIES LIPSTAIN LOL FOREVER), and then Sarah and I had a very delicious lunch at the coffeeshop (who are not open tonight, woe woe woe), and after rather more pleasant shenaniganing I went home.
-- Yesterday all four of us girls got our hair cut properly for the first time in far, far too long (it was Leandra's first haircut, and she's nearly four: but her hair's so curly that it had managed not to get out of hand until recently), and I am well pleased, although my hair colour is looking a bit extra flat now. It took all day to get the four of us done, though; good heavens.
-- Today I am cold and nauseated (please not again) and have nothing exciting planned for tonight, but I have got some cleaning to do, so I shall leave the introspection for another post.
-- Christmas: was lovely, but quiet; I made good on my promise to spring out of bed before morning light and barrel down the stairs as I did when I was seven, and Leandra was utterly delighted with everything (she woke my parents with a cry of "I got an orange in my stocking!"), and Kyra and Anna's packages were the most epic, and there was much merrymaking, and we had calzones for Christmas dinner which was extremely satisfying. I just wish -- and this is going to sound bitterer than it was at the time for my mood today verges on the black -- that there was something more to it; the last couple of Christmases have been very... routine. I'm glad not to travel (well, no, I adore travelling just in general, but I'm glad not to have to go see relatives and try to have my own kind of Christmas while having to wear another outward social un-self all the time, because that is exhausting and depressing), but I wish we'd have a Christmas that was larger and more magical; something I can live on for a while. It's Christmas, you know?
I did end the night by watching the Doctor Who Christmas special with my siblings, and it is officially the greatest Christmas special that ever was.
-- The day after Christmas we drove to my aunt's to visit with her and my grandparents and an uncle and his wife we don't see very often. I wasn't exactly overjoyed about this; I wanted to stretch out the holidays lying in bed with peppermint bark and one of my new books, not in a car all day going to socialise. I like my aunt; she's my favourite aunt; but hanging out with my cousins only reminds me of what different people we've become since we were twelve (or rather, how much they haven't changed since we were twelve and how much I have) and I have to be funny and irreverent and retreat into this other self and... ugh. Also: constant socialising. And explaining myself. And thinking up things to tell people about what I am doing with my life that don't spell out COMPLETE FAILURE in flashing neon lights.
And again my mood is tainting everything. I did not have a miserable time. Even if we almost got swallowed by a snowstorm on our way there. There was good conversation, and truffles, and my grandmother gave me a lot of Twinings English Breakfast in a tin shaped like a phonebooth. When grandparents and uncle had gone we watched Waking Sleeping Beauty, the film about the Disney animation renaissance, and that was really marvellous.
Then it took us all day the next day to actually leave. But when we did, we stopped at Trader Joe's on the way out (if we see one, we stop at it; it is a Rule), and while Mum and Dad stocked up on imported coffees, I taste-tested cilantro-garlic hummus on naan (so good) and bought myself a baguette and an apple and a bag of chocolate-covered peanut brittle to keep me company in the car. And there was a lovely moment late at night, when I peered out the window at the vast sky of stars over the highway with "I See the Light" playing in my ears (and after that a lot of Patrick Wolf).
-- Since we were unable to meet for post-Christmas festivities on St Stephen's Day (the 27th), Sarah and I celebrated the Feast of St Fitzherbert on the 28th. Shut up I did not just make him up the night before. He is the patron saint of badgers, musical theatre, moustaches, putting things on top of other things, glitter, inappropriate starches, and mouse ghosts, so far as we know. Holiday rituals include carefully scouting out passersby until you find one with the exact right hair and then sneaking up on them and cutting off a lock out of which to make a moustache and getting away before they catch you (we skipped this one, alas, on account of... things), eating pizza off fine china, the ceremonial sprinkling of sparkles (we had to use spangle stars because Walmart does not stock glitter because they hate joy), consuming chocolates, doing a special dance to make food rain down from the grocery store heavens, getting really absolutely smashed on tea, and singing the Hymn of St Fitzherbert, which is a very rollicking hymn indeed. Also we watched the Doctor Who Christmas special again. ALSO I GOT PRESENTS.
-- Wednesday we went to the mall (lovely earrings a dollar apiece! VAMPIRE DIARIES LIPSTAIN LOL FOREVER), and then Sarah and I had a very delicious lunch at the coffeeshop (who are not open tonight, woe woe woe), and after rather more pleasant shenaniganing I went home.
-- Yesterday all four of us girls got our hair cut properly for the first time in far, far too long (it was Leandra's first haircut, and she's nearly four: but her hair's so curly that it had managed not to get out of hand until recently), and I am well pleased, although my hair colour is looking a bit extra flat now. It took all day to get the four of us done, though; good heavens.
-- Today I am cold and nauseated (please not again) and have nothing exciting planned for tonight, but I have got some cleaning to do, so I shall leave the introspection for another post.