miscellany
this is just to say
that I have eaten all the cupcakes
and will probably feel squashy forever
also I haven't posted
in far too long
forgive me
the internet is so vast
and my brain so disorderly
and so procrastinatory
WHAT EVEN IS MY BRAIN.
Um.
Anyway: yeahhhh, there's been a fair bit of radio silence hereabouts, mostly because Not All Is Well In The State Of Jo's Brain, and also there was a fair amount of busyness -- last-minute gadding off (along with goddessreason) to hang out with my darling burningstarsxe in Pittsburgh for Halloween -- I traipsed through Pittsburgh in granny boots and a long black cloak, so that was nice. Also I bought a tea-ball and a copy of Emily of New Moon that was given as a gift to a little girl in 1940 and admired a dress printed with owls that I cannot ever afford and also a lovely little sea-spray coloured knit hat (I WANT A KNIT HAT SO BADLY GUYS) and basically wanted to take Pittsburgh (and Sarah) home with me. I mean, I love other cities far more than Pittsburgh (c.f. Boston, my heart-home), but it is still A City, and quite a delicious and fascinating one. Also: gigantic urban wall murals are my favourite.
We watched The Nightmare Before Christmas and Moulin Rouge! while cosied up on the unused bottom bunk of Sarah's bed and eating chocolates (and naan and cheese and Turkish Delight) and Sarah showed us Duquesne, and we talked and talked and talked. It was good.
Of course, it also meant that I was out and about having fun for almost all of November The First, and then I got home and Dad wanted to watch a film and I'd reneged on our annual Halloween movie date to see Sarah so I owed him one, so while I was quite happy to watch a film it also meant that I had to stay up till three writing because I'd only gotten in about thirty five handwritten words for NaNoWriMo that morning.
(The film was The Wicker Man -- the proper 1970s version, not the horrible remake which I just read a summary of on Wikipedia and almost wounded myself falling onto the desk in horror over -- and I adored it and may have been a little geeky about the folklore involved -- me and Christopher Lee, the only people who went, "ohhhh, wicker man, yeah, I know where you're going with that" upon hearing the title. Yes yes yes it was FOLKLORE OF EVIL, but that doesn't mean I can't be interested, in, you know, a scholarly way. And actually -- while I loved it when watching it, I wasn't that... creeped out, I guess? I mean, not personally; I could appreciate that it was incredibly scary, but I almost never get personally bothered by scary films or television, for whatever reason: but then it haunted me in a not-entirely-comfortable way all the next day. Wow. Points for you, filmmakers. Good job. Also, awesome film, if incredibly disturbing and sad, so huzzah. Also props for making the creepiest movie ever take place almost entirely in natural outdoor daylight in the springtime.
However, just a note: if you ever end up investigating suspicious activity in a remote village and then discover that the village is ruled by CHRISTOPHER LEE? GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE AND DON'T LOOK BACK. THERE ARE PRECIOUS FEW RED FLAGS REDDER THAN THAT ONE. charismitaine will let her fangirlism blind her, and that is why she will die of hemlock tea, but she seems to think that Christopher Lee talking to her as she dies would make up for it, tsk tsk, poor deluded lass.)
I've mostly managed to keep my head above the flood of words over the last week, and am only 800 words behind today because I had a very very very bad mental health day yesterday and let myself slack (I handwrote quite a lot of stuff, but didn't keep track of how much stuff it was). I don't like what I'm writing -- well, even a little bit or at all, but it's words, right? I can beat them into a more suitable shape later, right? Ugh, I do not know if I have ever written anything this incoherent and inconsistent and awful, but first drafts are supposed to be horrible, right? I just have to keep plugging away. Ugh.
Yesterday was by and large the worst day in terms of mental health that I have had in a very long time, and while carefully applied doses of Fringe and How To Train Your Dragon helped considerably, I'm still recovering... and trying to put things into an order that enables me to actually act on things and make plans before I completely go insane(er). Lately I just really envy people who don't have to work against their own bedimmed brain sabotaging them whenever they want to get anything done.
Anyway, hi. I love you guys. I'm still here.