i like my world cos it's mine

[faeriemaiden]

I've had an odd sort of day. Work was promoted from being merely a usual, somewhat dull workday to frustrating beyond the telling of it, when my drawer came up forty dollars short -- and this was after my replacement was terribly late. The supervisor who came to try to sort out my problem: every time she did the math again, the drawer got shorter.

Comments

[wanderlight]

But -- have you ever had that feeling -- which is less of a feeling and more of a tasting or a hearing or a not-seeing -- that there is another world hovering just on the edge of this one? Or not the edge, as such -- behind the ever-fluttering curtain of this one. My head was full of it today. I don't know why: usually I get this sort of thing when I find myself in a very strange and beautiful place; woods, or a cathedral, or up on the hill behind my old house with a candle. There wasn't anything about me that seemed to be a link to some otherness. It was only there, catching at my thoughts. The curtain never parted -- I haven't had the flash in months, if not a full year -- but I could sense that there was a curtain.

I apologise for quoting so much material, but, basically, yeah. Every word there is just right; I know what you're talking about. I haven't had the flash in months, either --
-- it kind of seems that the more entrenched in Real Life one becomes, as she tries to, you know, cope with it, adjust to it, the farther away the flash is. I'm not really sure what to do about that.
I am glad that the curtain is at least around the corner somewhere for you, though. ♥

[faeriemaiden]

I think that there are several kinds of Real Life and not all of them are horrible. Someday I will have a Real Life that is not so very far from the semi-imaginary one. I keep realising how much I want to live more organically -- not far far away in a cabin somewhere, but more closely to the world, more -- real-ly, both in terms of how I interact with people and nature, and the sorts of things I spend my time with, and the sorts of -- things I possess? I'm getting tireder and tireder of capitalism what with working in it, and even though I want to spend most of the rest of my life in a city, I just ... want to get away from Buying And Selling and the great ugly sleek-sided world that hasn't got any magic in it. I think Madeleine L'Engle had it just about right, as usual. (If I can get a two hundred year old New Hampshire farm-house in which to spend my summers away from my big-city world, that would be exactly right. ^-^)