the snow is falling (falling like forgiveness from the sky)
I really ought to be telling everyone how splendidly happy I am, but alas: I seem to have come down with some sort of emotional flu. With the exception of Sarah's party, which was a magnificent thing and whisked me straight out of the world exactly when I needed the whisking, I have felt rather rubbishly since Thursday, and not for any particular reason, neither. Therefore, I blame the emotional flu. (Well. I did read several disappointing books right in a row, in which things started out promisingly with clever prose and lovely characters and then it all went downhill and people started dying and being tremendously unhappy forever and ugh. But that hardly cast a pall upon the entire week.)
The lovely
midenianscholar called and prayed with me over the telephone and generally talked through things with me, which was beautiful of her, and alkslkhg ANONYMOUS BENEFACTOR AND YOUR GIFT OF EXTRA USERPICS HOW MUCH DO I LOVE YOU? I should like to bake you cookies, but then I wouldn't know where to send them: if I could post them on my LJ, I would, but I'm afraid the f-list would eat them, as they are all barbarians. -- I have got one hundred two userpics and only forty of them filled, oh my!
And now, the news.
i. So, things are moving forward. Dad actually did call people, and I should actually be seeing a therapist for an evaluation next week(-ish). I say "actually" because I didn't really believe it was going to happen, and honestly I don't think I shall believe it yet until I am actually reclining on a leather sofa. (Do I get a leather sofa? Or are those just in the films?) I'm a) terrified, b) relieved, and c) completely fascinated. I've always been interested in how the human mind works, and watching myself get analysed and suchlike will be very interesting from a purely intellectual viewpoint. Anyway, I'm just glad things are happening. It's sort of consoling, when I'm feeling awful -- look, help is on the way. Except when it isn't, because I am feeling terribly impatient and restless and, well, things.
ii. And the party. I do believe my breastbone may still be bruised from diving repeatedly onto the table bench every time a car drove by. Espionage is great fun! (Also I like to say "espionage"; it's all sussurationy.) I arrived about an hour before the Guest of Honour was due and helped Alessandra and Caroline decorate and arrange cupcakes (which I helped bake on Thursday; Caroline's oven is so much shinier and more well-behaved than mine: how much I should love to purloin it) and suchlike. This involved a lot of cursing at strings which would insist on breaking and trying to hang up crepe paper while the M.'s new kitten discovered what great fun the stuff was and proceeded to fall off the windowsill repeatedly in her attempts to bat at it.
I could go on at great length about Things Which Happened, but I would lose steam halfway through and there would be lots of crazy, impossible-to-follow run-on sentences, so: Sarah was quite surprised, and the cupcakes were marvellous, and she got very nice presents (a copy of Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell from Emma!; now I shall have to bother both of them into discussing it with me! Dear friends, you do have rather good taste in books), and things were pretty much splendid madness from then on. In fact, I was sitting up quite awake at five in the morning, glibly discussing steampunk and magical theory and how the wizarding world might be faring in the Firefly-verse with Victoria. ("This is all very strange," says I. "I only ever have this sort of conversation on the internet!") We also had some lovely rounds of that game where you stick bits of paper on your forehead with names on them and you've got to guess who the bit of paper proclaims you are (I ended up as Tolstoy and King Henry the Eighth), and watched The Magnificent Seven and partook of the chocolate chip chocolate cookies which I brought.
My sleeping habits have not yet quite recovered!
By the time I was being dropped off, I was beginning to feel rather irrationally out of sorts and jumbley, which I ascribe to my theory rather than my mother's: being around people is exhausting, even if they're the absolute people I would pick to be around. Alyssa says that it is possible to overcome this: I certainly hope so! It's very irritating and inconvenient. Whatever am I supposed to do in college when I've got roommates?
iii. There ought to be a iii. I hate even numbers; they're so smug. Er. Today I made sugar cookies, and listened to Over the Rhine (I convinced Dad to buy their Christmas album (!!!!!!), which is beyond brilliant, and so cosy, and so quintessentially OtR and BY THE WAY you can listen to it streaming in its entirety at their website!), and watched the snow falling very picturesquely outside. And now I have eaten too many cookies and am coming down with a beastly headache. All in all things seem to be looking up, though I am feeling more than usually restless and wish someone would give me an errand downtown so as I could ride my bicycle: yea, even in the snow. But: we have got peppermint extract at last! Thank God for small mercies!
The lovely
midenianscholar called and prayed with me over the telephone and generally talked through things with me, which was beautiful of her, and alkslkhg ANONYMOUS BENEFACTOR AND YOUR GIFT OF EXTRA USERPICS HOW MUCH DO I LOVE YOU? I should like to bake you cookies, but then I wouldn't know where to send them: if I could post them on my LJ, I would, but I'm afraid the f-list would eat them, as they are all barbarians. -- I have got one hundred two userpics and only forty of them filled, oh my!
And now, the news.
i. So, things are moving forward. Dad actually did call people, and I should actually be seeing a therapist for an evaluation next week(-ish). I say "actually" because I didn't really believe it was going to happen, and honestly I don't think I shall believe it yet until I am actually reclining on a leather sofa. (Do I get a leather sofa? Or are those just in the films?) I'm a) terrified, b) relieved, and c) completely fascinated. I've always been interested in how the human mind works, and watching myself get analysed and suchlike will be very interesting from a purely intellectual viewpoint. Anyway, I'm just glad things are happening. It's sort of consoling, when I'm feeling awful -- look, help is on the way. Except when it isn't, because I am feeling terribly impatient and restless and, well, things.
ii. And the party. I do believe my breastbone may still be bruised from diving repeatedly onto the table bench every time a car drove by. Espionage is great fun! (Also I like to say "espionage"; it's all sussurationy.) I arrived about an hour before the Guest of Honour was due and helped Alessandra and Caroline decorate and arrange cupcakes (which I helped bake on Thursday; Caroline's oven is so much shinier and more well-behaved than mine: how much I should love to purloin it) and suchlike. This involved a lot of cursing at strings which would insist on breaking and trying to hang up crepe paper while the M.'s new kitten discovered what great fun the stuff was and proceeded to fall off the windowsill repeatedly in her attempts to bat at it.
I could go on at great length about Things Which Happened, but I would lose steam halfway through and there would be lots of crazy, impossible-to-follow run-on sentences, so: Sarah was quite surprised, and the cupcakes were marvellous, and she got very nice presents (a copy of Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell from Emma!; now I shall have to bother both of them into discussing it with me! Dear friends, you do have rather good taste in books), and things were pretty much splendid madness from then on. In fact, I was sitting up quite awake at five in the morning, glibly discussing steampunk and magical theory and how the wizarding world might be faring in the Firefly-verse with Victoria. ("This is all very strange," says I. "I only ever have this sort of conversation on the internet!") We also had some lovely rounds of that game where you stick bits of paper on your forehead with names on them and you've got to guess who the bit of paper proclaims you are (I ended up as Tolstoy and King Henry the Eighth), and watched The Magnificent Seven and partook of the chocolate chip chocolate cookies which I brought.
My sleeping habits have not yet quite recovered!
By the time I was being dropped off, I was beginning to feel rather irrationally out of sorts and jumbley, which I ascribe to my theory rather than my mother's: being around people is exhausting, even if they're the absolute people I would pick to be around. Alyssa says that it is possible to overcome this: I certainly hope so! It's very irritating and inconvenient. Whatever am I supposed to do in college when I've got roommates?
iii. There ought to be a iii. I hate even numbers; they're so smug. Er. Today I made sugar cookies, and listened to Over the Rhine (I convinced Dad to buy their Christmas album (!!!!!!), which is beyond brilliant, and so cosy, and so quintessentially OtR and BY THE WAY you can listen to it streaming in its entirety at their website!), and watched the snow falling very picturesquely outside. And now I have eaten too many cookies and am coming down with a beastly headache. All in all things seem to be looking up, though I am feeling more than usually restless and wish someone would give me an errand downtown so as I could ride my bicycle: yea, even in the snow. But: we have got peppermint extract at last! Thank God for small mercies!