Appearances

[faerieloch]

I have been saved from wanting to be sexy, thanks to random men in San Francisco. While attending a conference (read: dressed professionally but definitely not sexily), I was cat-called or commented upon three times in the same day-- once by a homeless man. What is up with that? What on Earth gives these men the right to comment upon me in such

Comments

[spamchang]

it may not be because of looks at all, but because of the power to degrade, which they realize they possess and utilize to make themselves feel powerful. please don't take it personally.

[faerieloch]

Doesn't change the fact that the action is still a problem, unfortunately.

[spamchang]

/hug

[pandoradeloeste]

please don't take it personally.

. . .and I'm left wondering, how the hell else does one take such comments?

[spamchang]

from my personal experience, and i'm certainly not saying this is entirely applicable to everyone (but i am saying that i can empathize to some extent), i see the comments as functions of the people who say them, i.e. they would say these things to many people, not just me, and i just happen to fit their criteria. they'll forget about me tomorrow and throw darts at the next passer-by, hoping to elicit a reaction and feel some sense of power in their otherwise powerless lives. i pity them (perhaps unkindly) and move on.

as a guy, i am less likely to see my body image in the same way that the media coerces girls into viewing themselves, however, and i understand that perhaps i'm psychologically wired in a completely different way regarding this.

[pandoradeloeste]

i understand that perhaps i'm psychologically wired in a completely different way regarding this.

I'm curious what you mean by this - not trying to be snarky, I'm genuinely a little confused. Are you saying that you're psychologically wired to respond differently to street harassment, or psychologically wired to be a street harasser?

If it's the first, I'd be interested in hearing about your experiences, if you'd be willing to share. Most of the street harassment I've heard about has been directed towards women, but I know it must exist for men as well.

If it's the second, I'd have to ask why. I know it can't be "feels attraction to women", because I've never felt any desire to harass any women I saw in public, despite being attracted to women.

[spamchang]

what i mean by that is that i don't consider my way of dealing with harassment to be a necessarily valid way for others with which to deal with harassment. i'm not going to say, "just do what i do and it works." i think guys suffer less pressure to meet self-esteem-related beauty requirements