My going away to college post:(
Last weekend made me realize how much I hate the fact that college is no longer approaching, but for some of my friends it will be here within the week. Today may very well be the last time I see Ning or Dan before Thanksgiving. That's over three months away and I have no idea how I am going to be able to handle that. Picking up my sister's Royal Return packet from SM made me realize how not ready I am to leave there. I'm really not, college is just such a big change, I don't know if I can bear it. I know, I have to, but there are SO many things I will miss more than I can even imagine right now. Calculus at 6:30 in the morning, picking Ning up at 6:30, breakfasts with Noah, Ning, and Leah, walking to Great Ideas with Chloe, awesome girl time with Leah during second, lunch with David-everyday, insane and unforgettable third periods with Randall, lobster spotting with Christy, tormenting DeVries about eating meat everyday, learning so much about everything from Mr. Zaunius, math with Egbert, knowing that all my friends would be with me everyday. And those are just the things AT SM, what about Hide and Seek at Yuri's, poker nights, movie nights, knitting parties, used book shopping, pool...there are just too many things I will miss. I don't want to go to college, I don't want my friends to leave, I don't want to grow up. And as I'm writing this all I can hear in my head is Mr. Zaunius' voice telling me I can NEVER go back. I don't want to realize that, not yet, I'm not ready, I'm really not. It will even be different with my friends staying in SB. We won't be together everyday. I won't have classes with them. I know, I'll make new friends and it won't seem that bad. But I don't want new friends, I want MY friends to be here forever. I want to be able to see them everyday. I really don't feel ready to grow up. I don't want to go to college. I don't want to live in the dorms. I don't want to have to drive for an hour and a half to see my boyfriend. I don't want to only see two of my best friends during school holidays. I don't want anything to change.