Asshat
apparently chuck got engaged (you have to go to myspace since he shut down his xanga - guilty conscious much?) - which is surprising enough without the knowledge that his new fiance fully admits that they hooked up before he bothered to break it off with me. So he actually talked about marrying me, and adopting the kids, etc. one week, and then was talking about marrying her the next week. It hasnt even been a month since he told me he wanted to end it.
So, yeah, lie to me, and all bets are off. Asshat.
She's apparently bi-polar, by her own admittance, and so they should be perfectly happy together. One who cannot tell the truth or be faithful to save his own life, and one who will scream about mundane bullshit while looking the other way while he goes about his business of trying to lay everything that crosses his path. He will keep looking for the next thing - "whats better, whats going to keep me happy right now because what i have will never be good enough. I will tell you whatever I think you want to hear as long as I have a girl in my life because I can't be alone, can't let people think that I am less of a man in any way."
Her words: "And I start to realize that those things that were deal-breakers in 1994 are things that he has changed about himself. Because he eventually realized that he didn't like those parts of himself either."
No, honey, he hasn't changed, he's just learn to hide it better.
Meanwhile, back at my house, Josh still wakes every morning around 3:30-4:00 screaming and crying for me. Traumatized over the loss of the only person he knew as his dad, too young to understand why chuck's gone, just that he is, and his little 3 year old heart is broken over it. Refuses to leave my presence in the house, even to allow me to use the restroom in peace, and constantly touches me, even if its just to hold my hand against his face while he watches tv, like some large security blanket. he cannot stand to let me go, for fear i will leave him too. Refuses blatantly to even try to potty train too, since that was something chuck was working with him on, and looks me straight in the eye and tells me "i not use potty, i use diaper" so we are back to square one, which is demoralizing for me.
Nick repeated stops himself from saying "well when chuck gets here... oh yeah, i forgot he doesn't love us anymore." Bless the child's heart, he actually told me the other day that he could teach chuck how to be a good daddy, because he knew how and was going to be a good daddy when he grows up.
how easily one person can completely destroy 3 lives by simply opening his mouth and not thinking about the consequences other than what will it take to claim this as mine and move on to the next willing flesh.
i would rather remain single forever than to go through this again.