on and on and on
okay..i'm gonna allow myself one journal entry so as not to talk about this again..well maybe ill tell lauren but that's it.
okay. so we all know i have a weak spot for him, all those achy breaky heart pains i get when i think about him and us and our short time together and the longer time of tryin to get over it which i never really did...
BUT!
i'm okay. and it's weird that i'm okay, you know? when we hung out i was so..happy..it was disgusting. i went to lauren's house all sad and mopy and ANNOYING... i just kept thinking how bad i wanna be with him.
then when he called me later i went running of course, i swore i wouldn't sleep with him and i really wasn't gonna... but i did. lol. DUH! and you know what? i think that fixed everything. i'm not saying it was bad sex..it's never bad sex between us, it was pretty good actually. and having him hold me during the night was a little hard, i'm not gonna lie.
but when i woke up in the morning i didn't wanna be with him.. i was perfectly content when he went home..it didn't hurt that he doesn't wanna be with me..i didn't sit by the phone and wish he would call..i don't.
and the kisses? i didn't feel what i thought i would feel. they were just kisses. good kisses ok..but JUST KISSES.
and that's GREAT!!!
maybe it took almost 4 months but i think i got my closure.
yaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!
okay. so we all know i have a weak spot for him, all those achy breaky heart pains i get when i think about him and us and our short time together and the longer time of tryin to get over it which i never really did...
BUT!
i'm okay. and it's weird that i'm okay, you know? when we hung out i was so..happy..it was disgusting. i went to lauren's house all sad and mopy and ANNOYING... i just kept thinking how bad i wanna be with him.
then when he called me later i went running of course, i swore i wouldn't sleep with him and i really wasn't gonna... but i did. lol. DUH! and you know what? i think that fixed everything. i'm not saying it was bad sex..it's never bad sex between us, it was pretty good actually. and having him hold me during the night was a little hard, i'm not gonna lie.
but when i woke up in the morning i didn't wanna be with him.. i was perfectly content when he went home..it didn't hurt that he doesn't wanna be with me..i didn't sit by the phone and wish he would call..i don't.
and the kisses? i didn't feel what i thought i would feel. they were just kisses. good kisses ok..but JUST KISSES.
and that's GREAT!!!
maybe it took almost 4 months but i think i got my closure.
yaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!