when i kill myself i'm gonna leave a note that says "you made me do this"

[faeriedusted]

so i realized i write in this thing now only i think when i'm premenstrual.

cause hot damn boy, i'm out of my freaking mind.

okay. i'm gonna say it like i mean it..

i hate men, all men, every single last freaking one of you-
starting with ha aba shelee that conceived me
to the doctor that birthed me
the first one that kissed me
and the last one that lied me down in his bed and held me tight tight tight
all the ones in between.
even the biffle doesn't escape this.

john said so many mean things to me last night and he doesn't know how much he hurts me when he does that..and i don't know why i let it get to me when i don't even care.
i really don't. i don't wanna be with him anymore, hell no..but i don't know what it is, something about the way my legs feel wrapped around his waist and the way his hands always find mine and how we bury into each other so intense like. but that's all it is. the sex isn't even that good.

and now i'm crying. which takes me back to the pms thing..can i just get my pd already??
cause this is driving me nuts.