Women IN Love
I am a woman in love
And I do anything
To get you into my world
And hold you within
Its a right I defend
Over and over again
What do I do?
Barbara Streissand: Woman In Love
Right now I am thinking of two couples.
S and K have been together for seven or eight years now. S is intellectual, intense, politically minded. K is bright, creative, and artistic. S’s spare time is spent volunteering with children. K is a member of several local theatre groups. ON the weekend, the two of them clean litter from around their “adopted bus stop. Their friends usually see them together, but it’s not unusual to see them separately too. S and K make me smile; separately they’re delightful; together they are---warm, welcoming, considerate. Their existence as a couple I can only describe a synchronous.
M and A have been together for nine years. M is even-tempered, creative, and always on the go. A is friendly, reliable, fiercely focused and loyal. M is also a member of community theatre groups, and when not rehearsing or performing can be found socializing with friends. A’s time is divided between work, school, friends, family commitments, and M. When I first met M and A, about six years ago, they were living an hour away from each other, pulled apart by work locations. They now describe that as the worst year of their lives together.
When I see M and A together, I get a feeling of utter and complete rightness.
S and K could be Sabrina and Kevin, but they’re not; they’re Sabrina and Katherine. M and A could be Melissa and Andrew, but they’re not; they’re Melissa and Amanda.
Eight years ago, Melissa and Amanda travelled from DC to Massachusetts to get married. In 2010, Washington DC recognized this marriage; Maryland, where they were living at the time, did not.
Sabrina and Katherine will have a commitment ceremony this summer. They don’t live in a state that allows them to marry, so they’ll create their own ritual. Because the U.S. federal government does not recognize these partnerships, neither couple will be able to enjoy the 1,138 rights and protections other couples receive upon marrying in the United States of America.
Sabrina, Katherine, Melissa, and Amanda are women in love. I too have been a woman in love. I burn with anger that my love is recognized and theirs is not. I roil with frustration that because I, as a woman, happened to fall in love with a man, have protections and privileges that others, just as much committed and in love as I am, do not have. I snarl with derision that heterosexually married women-people-can wear their marriages as badges of honour and cultural acceptability while the strongest love of others is belittled or hated.
Sabrina, Katherine, Melissa, and Amanda are my friends. The love and loyalty I’ve seen between these couples has been some of the strongest I’ve ever seen. They’re certainly not the only lesbian couples I know, nor gay male couples for that matter, but to me they typify the best type of romantic love. After spending a weekend away with Melissa and Amanda, I commented to one of our mutual friends that I wished people who object to same sex marriage, to same sex relationships in general, could meet them.
All four women in love have been there for their respective partners through family upheaval, medical problems, financial issues, job loss, grad school stress, and so much more. They’ve also been there through just plain fun. They enjoy each other’s company, respect and like each other’s friends, and allow each other to be their own person.
Is it always a rosy picture for them, or for all same sex couples? Absolutely not. Remember though, that in addition to the stresses, communication gaps and barriers, and personality conflicts all intimate couples face, they also face job and personal discrimination, nosiness or hostility from the public and sometimes their families, and even the threat of violence. To maintain strength, love, and fun when your very existence as a couple is questioned or denied is a feat.
Woman In Love was my personal theme song as I fell in love. I discovered it at about the same time I discovered y beloved. Separated as we were by country borders, age, and what was happening in our lives at that time, I felt keenly that commitment to “get you into my world”. I could, and I did. As an outwardly heterosexual woman, I was welcome to cross borders and marry my beloved. Though it was, as I have written before, infinitely frustrating, it was something I could do, sacrificing only plenty of time, paperwork, and money.
A couple of years after I moved here, a top executive at the company my husband worked for at the time put in his resignation. He had been trying for years to have his partner move to the U.S. so they could be together. They’d finally decided to move to a country that would accept them both, as they were, who they were, how they were. His partner was a man.
It’s difficult to explain why this matters so much to me. As a bisexual woman I’m very aware of how it could so easily have been me in a same sex relationship, hiding, worrying, or even out there in the open with few laws to back me up. From my Women’s Studies and sociology classes, I know that families throughout the centuries and among the cultures of the world have taken different forms, and that they continue to do so. The “treasured” nuclear family of man, woman and children isn’t all there is, and isn’t all we should expect. I may know all these things, but they still don’t explain why, when I see articles like this I bounce up and down in my chair, tweet incessantly, and smile for an entire day.
The steps to a new frontier of marriage equality---to humanity--are short, and unevenly spaced, but they’re there.
This has been my entry for therealljidol.
And I do anything
To get you into my world
And hold you within
Its a right I defend
Over and over again
What do I do?
Barbara Streissand: Woman In Love
Right now I am thinking of two couples.
S and K have been together for seven or eight years now. S is intellectual, intense, politically minded. K is bright, creative, and artistic. S’s spare time is spent volunteering with children. K is a member of several local theatre groups. ON the weekend, the two of them clean litter from around their “adopted bus stop. Their friends usually see them together, but it’s not unusual to see them separately too. S and K make me smile; separately they’re delightful; together they are---warm, welcoming, considerate. Their existence as a couple I can only describe a synchronous.
M and A have been together for nine years. M is even-tempered, creative, and always on the go. A is friendly, reliable, fiercely focused and loyal. M is also a member of community theatre groups, and when not rehearsing or performing can be found socializing with friends. A’s time is divided between work, school, friends, family commitments, and M. When I first met M and A, about six years ago, they were living an hour away from each other, pulled apart by work locations. They now describe that as the worst year of their lives together.
When I see M and A together, I get a feeling of utter and complete rightness.
S and K could be Sabrina and Kevin, but they’re not; they’re Sabrina and Katherine. M and A could be Melissa and Andrew, but they’re not; they’re Melissa and Amanda.
Eight years ago, Melissa and Amanda travelled from DC to Massachusetts to get married. In 2010, Washington DC recognized this marriage; Maryland, where they were living at the time, did not.
Sabrina and Katherine will have a commitment ceremony this summer. They don’t live in a state that allows them to marry, so they’ll create their own ritual. Because the U.S. federal government does not recognize these partnerships, neither couple will be able to enjoy the 1,138 rights and protections other couples receive upon marrying in the United States of America.
Sabrina, Katherine, Melissa, and Amanda are women in love. I too have been a woman in love. I burn with anger that my love is recognized and theirs is not. I roil with frustration that because I, as a woman, happened to fall in love with a man, have protections and privileges that others, just as much committed and in love as I am, do not have. I snarl with derision that heterosexually married women-people-can wear their marriages as badges of honour and cultural acceptability while the strongest love of others is belittled or hated.
Sabrina, Katherine, Melissa, and Amanda are my friends. The love and loyalty I’ve seen between these couples has been some of the strongest I’ve ever seen. They’re certainly not the only lesbian couples I know, nor gay male couples for that matter, but to me they typify the best type of romantic love. After spending a weekend away with Melissa and Amanda, I commented to one of our mutual friends that I wished people who object to same sex marriage, to same sex relationships in general, could meet them.
All four women in love have been there for their respective partners through family upheaval, medical problems, financial issues, job loss, grad school stress, and so much more. They’ve also been there through just plain fun. They enjoy each other’s company, respect and like each other’s friends, and allow each other to be their own person.
Is it always a rosy picture for them, or for all same sex couples? Absolutely not. Remember though, that in addition to the stresses, communication gaps and barriers, and personality conflicts all intimate couples face, they also face job and personal discrimination, nosiness or hostility from the public and sometimes their families, and even the threat of violence. To maintain strength, love, and fun when your very existence as a couple is questioned or denied is a feat.
Woman In Love was my personal theme song as I fell in love. I discovered it at about the same time I discovered y beloved. Separated as we were by country borders, age, and what was happening in our lives at that time, I felt keenly that commitment to “get you into my world”. I could, and I did. As an outwardly heterosexual woman, I was welcome to cross borders and marry my beloved. Though it was, as I have written before, infinitely frustrating, it was something I could do, sacrificing only plenty of time, paperwork, and money.
A couple of years after I moved here, a top executive at the company my husband worked for at the time put in his resignation. He had been trying for years to have his partner move to the U.S. so they could be together. They’d finally decided to move to a country that would accept them both, as they were, who they were, how they were. His partner was a man.
It’s difficult to explain why this matters so much to me. As a bisexual woman I’m very aware of how it could so easily have been me in a same sex relationship, hiding, worrying, or even out there in the open with few laws to back me up. From my Women’s Studies and sociology classes, I know that families throughout the centuries and among the cultures of the world have taken different forms, and that they continue to do so. The “treasured” nuclear family of man, woman and children isn’t all there is, and isn’t all we should expect. I may know all these things, but they still don’t explain why, when I see articles like this I bounce up and down in my chair, tweet incessantly, and smile for an entire day.
The steps to a new frontier of marriage equality---to humanity--are short, and unevenly spaced, but they’re there.
This has been my entry for therealljidol.