(no subject)

Apr 06, 2009 09:08

i am angry. ridiculously angry.

i was annoyed yesterday and of course as my mind processes things when i try to ignore them i have become more and more angry.

to the point that i actually don't know what to say.

the logical part of me understands and is ok with it, the emotional part of me is absolutely furious and wondering if the friendship is actually real or if as appearances are being put forth it doesn't. not really.

when you know someone like that they should know the things that are going to hurt. they should be aware and when they exhibit all signs as they have before they do. which is why the betrayal is always that much worse. especially when you know they just aren't thinking about it and how it might feel to you. when they seem to have decided your feelings and emotions are useless. it leads one to believe that friendship is a masquerade.

i'm waiting because honestly this fury does no one any good. i am angry to the point that there aren't words and the only thing i want to do is throw acid and sand in the face before me. because my heart burns as that would.

step back one, step back two... who would think one would retreat so quickly. anyone who knows me. anyone who knows me knows the little things count, those unspoken words and actions. and these.... these are just disrespectful. the fact that it wasn't even thought about makes it that much fucking worse.

i am angry and tired and my heart hurts and i am tired of people assuming that by not saying anything they protect a situation. you.... you have been my friend long enough to know that is bullshit. and yet....
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