Sigh
Well at around 1 am I had what I could only imagine and categorize as an anxiety attack of sorts. I was sitting here surfing the web when all of a sudden I felt a feeling of utter Boredom. It was a painful boredom to where I was contemplating it were possible to shove my thumbs behind my eyes. A few moments later Loneliness kicked in and I was left short of breath. It seemed like the walls were closing in and everything got dark. I got dizzy and started to shake all over. I could barely WALK to change into comfortable clothing, I was stumbling all over. I sat back down and shoved my head between my knees which I drew to my chest and wanted to just cry, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t even speak or let out any noise. I felt like I wasn't breathing and I didn’t know what to do. My roommate and his girlfriend came back and they didn’t know what to do. I was freaking out and so were they. After telling them I didn’t want to go to the hospital, and about 40 minutes after it started it began to fade and I calmed down. I am now all jittery and nervous and cant sleep, I’m going to have to drop my English class sadly =/ cause I wont be able to make it tomorrow. Maybe I shouldn’t be in college right now? Maybe all my problems are just too much for me to handle right now, I don’t know. I know I wanted someone there to help me, but I was alone, so utterly alone it hurt. I was scared today for the first time in years.