Direction? Where?
Oh boy another night back on the blah train. I have no idea what brought it on really but I got to thinking alot tonight. I have absolutely no direction in life and I have no idea where I am going or what I am doing where I already am. I find myself when not playing video games and escaping reality, perpetually bored and lonely. I have friends yeah but, none of them really connect with me on any level where I would like to be. I sort of found a reason to why when people ask me to hang out I say no and don't want to. I do not find any stimulation in hanging out with my friends anymoe than I do sitting alone playing video games and attempting to escape reality. I find myself just as lonely with other people as I do alone with myself. I have yet to find the persons or person stimulating to me out there. I am completely lost and cant find where I need to be or who i want to be. I hide behind my video games in that world because this world is bland to me, theres nothing. I don't enjoy school, I don't enjoy social interactions, I dont really know what I really DO enjoy. I have no help, I have no support and I don't know what to do about it. I get bored of people, I get bored of things I do very fast. I don't know if thats because I am unstable, and I don't know if I have some kind of social disorder or not or what to do about it. All that I can do is sit here and rant about it here and listen to people who can't help me and don't really know me try to explain to me how I feel. Im lost and alone and thats really the only thing I can say and have left to say. I can't sleep and I have 9 am class tomorrow that I can't find the motivation to go to.