I broke the porn store clerk...
Wow... So I just had a surreal experience at the porn store... I was driving by on lunch and decided to stop in and see if they had dental dams.... not a lot of places in town seem to for some reason. Here is what happened:
I walk in to the store and start looking around at some of the items that I have not seen before. A young guy in a dark maroon store uniform shirt comes up to me and starts a conversation: "Hello, welcome! Have you been here before?" he asked. "Yes, quite a few times." I replied. "Oh, okay. Well then you know where everything is I guess... um... let me know if you need something opened or have any questions, okay?" This seemed like the perfect moment to inquire about the reason I had actually come in. "Actually, I was wondering if you guys stocked dental dams." He looked at me blankly. I decided to try and help him out in hopes that he was just having a brain fart or something. "I am guessing they might be with the condoms... maybe with the flavored condoms?" He still looked utterly lost. "Um, I don't know... what is it?" he stammered. I don't think I concealed the look of shock that crossed my face as well as I would have wished. I composed myself and answered him. "Dental dams... Latex sheets about four to six inches square... sometimes flavoured..." His brow furrowed deeply as he contemplated what he should ask next Finally he replied "Uhhh... so... what are they for?". This time I didn't even bother to conceal my exasperated expression. Could he really work -here - and not know? "Oral sex." "Oh, well we have lots of Condoms, I can show you all the flavours...." I cut him a little short. "No, condoms don't work quite the same for cunnilingus or anal rimming...... I would really rather not have to cut a condom....... That is why they make dental dams... well that and root canals." Durring my last statements he had begun to walk toward the counter. The more I talked the more his pace increased until he had ensconsed himself "safely" behind the counter. As he turned back around I saw his entire face had turned a deep shade of red. "Uh! I dont' really know what you are looking for! But here are the condoms... feel free to look around!" He squeeked. He then turned at a rigid 90 degree angle and practically dove into the display case farthest from me and began making a show of organizing things.
I looked through the condom selection, there was nothing terribly interesting... I had moved on towards the novelties and was getting ready to leave when I happened to see exactally what I was looking for hiding in the back of a display case.
"Excuse me." I said. He stood up slowly and turned around, his face still fairly pink. I smiled at him and bade him to come to the display case. "Dental Dams!" I said pointing at the packages in the case. His face flushed again, this time to nearly the same shade as his shirt. He stood there silently and looked at me like he wanted to melt into the floor. "I want them." He fumbled his hands into the case and retrieved one. "No, I want more than one... how many are there?" I asked. He reluctantly stuck his hand back in the case and brought out the rest of them. Slowly he counted them out onto the counter. Sadly there were only four. "Okay, I will take them all, Thank you!" Suddenly he snapped out of suspended animation. His fingers flew over the cash register as he raced to get me rung up and out of the store. "Thankyouhaveaniceday!" he blurted as shoved my reciept into my hand. I paused and smiled. "I will... and thank you!' I said cheerily before turning slowly on my heel and heading for the door. On the way I saw a display of lubricants that looked interesting. I wanted to stop and peruse them, but decided that I should leave the poor boy to his misery. Besides, I drive by almost every day on the way back from lunch, I could always stop back in tomorrow....
I walk in to the store and start looking around at some of the items that I have not seen before. A young guy in a dark maroon store uniform shirt comes up to me and starts a conversation: "Hello, welcome! Have you been here before?" he asked. "Yes, quite a few times." I replied. "Oh, okay. Well then you know where everything is I guess... um... let me know if you need something opened or have any questions, okay?" This seemed like the perfect moment to inquire about the reason I had actually come in. "Actually, I was wondering if you guys stocked dental dams." He looked at me blankly. I decided to try and help him out in hopes that he was just having a brain fart or something. "I am guessing they might be with the condoms... maybe with the flavored condoms?" He still looked utterly lost. "Um, I don't know... what is it?" he stammered. I don't think I concealed the look of shock that crossed my face as well as I would have wished. I composed myself and answered him. "Dental dams... Latex sheets about four to six inches square... sometimes flavoured..." His brow furrowed deeply as he contemplated what he should ask next Finally he replied "Uhhh... so... what are they for?". This time I didn't even bother to conceal my exasperated expression. Could he really work -here - and not know? "Oral sex." "Oh, well we have lots of Condoms, I can show you all the flavours...." I cut him a little short. "No, condoms don't work quite the same for cunnilingus or anal rimming...... I would really rather not have to cut a condom....... That is why they make dental dams... well that and root canals." Durring my last statements he had begun to walk toward the counter. The more I talked the more his pace increased until he had ensconsed himself "safely" behind the counter. As he turned back around I saw his entire face had turned a deep shade of red. "Uh! I dont' really know what you are looking for! But here are the condoms... feel free to look around!" He squeeked. He then turned at a rigid 90 degree angle and practically dove into the display case farthest from me and began making a show of organizing things.
I looked through the condom selection, there was nothing terribly interesting... I had moved on towards the novelties and was getting ready to leave when I happened to see exactally what I was looking for hiding in the back of a display case.
"Excuse me." I said. He stood up slowly and turned around, his face still fairly pink. I smiled at him and bade him to come to the display case. "Dental Dams!" I said pointing at the packages in the case. His face flushed again, this time to nearly the same shade as his shirt. He stood there silently and looked at me like he wanted to melt into the floor. "I want them." He fumbled his hands into the case and retrieved one. "No, I want more than one... how many are there?" I asked. He reluctantly stuck his hand back in the case and brought out the rest of them. Slowly he counted them out onto the counter. Sadly there were only four. "Okay, I will take them all, Thank you!" Suddenly he snapped out of suspended animation. His fingers flew over the cash register as he raced to get me rung up and out of the store. "Thankyouhaveaniceday!" he blurted as shoved my reciept into my hand. I paused and smiled. "I will... and thank you!' I said cheerily before turning slowly on my heel and heading for the door. On the way I saw a display of lubricants that looked interesting. I wanted to stop and peruse them, but decided that I should leave the poor boy to his misery. Besides, I drive by almost every day on the way back from lunch, I could always stop back in tomorrow....