so
so, the guy thats head over feet..is still head over feet, and we are a "couple". the really bad part is...is that no matter what i stiull have...evenm if they are really underlying..and hidden, and i know better...feelings for Moises..hes all i can think about in the end...is it really bad of me, am i horrible...? I really like darrell and officially would never do anytihng to hurt him and if i was thyinking of it would tell him right away...but is it wrong to feel like i do..aprehensive and unsure? im so sad right now because i know hes taking some girl out or was, on dates we should have ogne on this year and time we should have spent together..and ive given my self up to some one else, and i dont know if im fully ready or not....im so happy...so happy..but so unsure...all athte same time ,a nd relaly..thsi time i have no one to talk to, cause its all my fault and im sick of talking about this with my firneds...im sick of being the 'victim'...i just want ot be normal and get over it if thats what im sposed to do...it hurts to thionk i was nothing to him, worthless, not orht fighting for...thats not what i wanted for him, and its hurts so bad...i dont even know what to think or say about it...im happy and sad, great and so sad..and joyful, and depressed. i dunno...im just me i guess.