Hurting

Jul 20, 2007 18:52

Its been 8 weeks since we decided to go on a "break" and its been so topsy turvey ever since...being together not being togethre crying arguing and then crying and just plain hurting...i know there are so many of my friends who love me and just want me to forget this person, but they have to realize that while I want to forget all the bad and have it go away, its the good i know is inside both of us for each other that i want back. I am no picnic, and I realize my faults, I however realize thst right now i am killing myself for this person, and and doing it for no reason, I have done nothing wrong to deserve what has been going on for 8 weeks. I am a giving and loving person, and i want to work hard to do that for the person i love, I want a family, I want love , i want a happy life in a lil house i call my own, hang out with our friends and have funm with one another. i want romance...but i have realized it just isnt like that all the time..it fades as i have heard three times in my life, i just want it all i guess, and one day i hope to get it, from the man i love despite arguments of others, i know he is a good man, just, misquided i guess for the moment...but alsdo, at this time i can not allow him to hurt me...so...when i leave i just wonder...will he care? will he be scared? will he be ready to show me the emotions I long to see and hear from him? weill he open up to the ONE person who loves him so much it hurts, the one person who has trusted him with all of her secrets and dreams and faults, and hopes, and discouragements....please open up. its ok to feel something...because, unfortunatly, if you dont, you will lose...forever. me. and its hurting so bad...so bad...
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